The One

It had been three years since Eric left me after going back to his toxic girlfriend, Sully. When he made his promise to never leave me then decided to leave it felt as though my heart ripped from my chest. There is no feeling like this, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I didn’t think I would survive this ache in my heart. For months, I cried yearning for him, wondering why I kept putting myself through this. 

The feelings went from love, and sadness to resentment and anger. 

Today is the first day of Autumn, my career as a personal shopper really takes off in the United Kingdom. As I shop for a client, I could feel as though someone is staring at me. I only got this feeling when Eric was watching me. 

As I turned around I saw him, I felt very confident, free, and most important my self-esteem is high. But as soon as I saw him all of the feelings I thought I put behind me came back, and what’s worse it’s Valentine’s Day. I didn’t like this time of year because it reminded me of all of the stuff I couldn’t have in the past. 

Why did I put myself through this? I never understood these feelings, I never understood love. It had been three years since I didn’t want to admit this aloud but I still love him. Even though he hurt me, I still love him. 

I still love Eric! God, what am I thinking this bloke hurt me bloody hell! How can I put myself through this again? Is it worth it?

Eric is so tall that all he has to do is saunter over, I wasn’t prepared to answer this, “Hullo Amelia, hoo are ye?” 

I look down debating if this garment is worth the purchase. “Aye, fine hoo about ye?” 

He looks disappointed, “Doing well, love. Wid ye like the gang oot a date, lass?”

I look at him shocked unsure of how to feel, “Whit about yer girlfriend Sully?” I say the word Sully like it’s a bitter taste in my mouth.

As his smile widens at my jealousy, I look at him in the eye looking intimidating, “We ur a langer dating, sweetheart.”

I tried thinking rationally, but my heart overruled my mind, “Aye, I will.” 

As he told me this, my heartfelt as though it would jump away when he told me this.

I watched him walk away, the gray cloud under my head seemed to be fading. I couldn’t tell him that hurt I felt for so long. How hard it was for me to just walk away. I just couldn’t face the thought of having this conversation. But on the other hand, it felt like punishment to be away from him. To watch from the sidelines. 

No one could understand what it was like not being with their soulmate. 

I finally got done with my personal shopping for my client, got my juri. 

When I headed back home for the evening, the quiet house seemed eerie right now. My flat is very relaxing but it was missing something. My phone is ringing in my purse. I searched for it wondering if it was a client. 

The number was still in there, after all this time in my contacts, his name followed by his number. 

I am shocked beyond measure, I answer my phone with an awkward hello. 

Eric: You’ve not forgotten about our date

Me: Nae, where to, I can meet you there?

I heard a knock outside my door, my flat, I hung up quickly still in my work garments. 

Oh god, he is going to see me, at my flat. I didn’t even think he remembered where I lived. My heavens, should I just ignore him. Maybe he might go away. Okay, that is out of the question. 

I take two strides over to my door unlocking it then asking him to come in. I was terrified I didn’t handle rejection very well. And I swore to myself I wouldn’t let anyone hurt me like that again. Not the way he did. Not the way he abandoned me for that trollop. 

I hook my purse over my shoulder purposely forgetting my phone, but not my keys. 

By the time we arrived at the Italian restaurant Gillespie’s. A place we often went to as teenagers. When Eric opens the door for me it reminds me of the fond memories of us making a promise to each other to always be apart of others' life whether it be as good mates, or in a relationship. Then she came into his life all of those promises out the door, and I became unimportant. 

I bite my bottom trying to stifle tears from streaming down my cheeks. 

The time the host brings us to our table we get settled in he looks at me. I am nervous about this good thing. This restaurant is in dim romantic light with fairy lights wrapped around the wood pools that connect to each booth. 

“Ah Amelia, is everything okay?”

“Aye,” I couldn’t shake the feelings I am feeling. 

It felt as though the feelings never had faded away. And believe me, I wanted them to, no one could hurt me. 

The aroma of Italian food starts to make my stomach growl.

As we order our meals waiting awkwardly. I took a chance hoping to get some answers. I gulped nervously.

“Why did you leave me?” I just wanted to be straight and forward.

My accent is still thick, but my American words surprised him. 

“I couldn’t just leave her even though I fell in love with you. I had to end it as it had to be.” 

I look down almost wanting to break again into tears. 

I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. I never could, I love him. 

“Understood, but what’s the point of hashing the past, Eric?” At this point, I wanted to cry.

“Because I want to apologise to you, Ammie. I want to ask you if you forgive me.” His voice sounds hurt and ashamed. 

As it should be, but I couldn’t hate him anymore. I wanted to, believe me, I wanted to. 

I could feel the dry lump in my throat and the tears wanted to come. Instead, I smile, “I want to be angry with you, but I can’t Eric. I don’t have it in me to be upset. I forgive you.”

It has been three years, and he still has that effect on me. My heart jumps when he reaches to touch my hand. 

I look down, grasping it looking deep in his dark eyes, “I want to pick up where we left off, Ammie will you be my girlfriend again?”

I nod, “yes I will, Eric.”