Rosy Possibly

I sway my feet on central park. That saturday seems to be more crowded that usual. The bike, doubled. The runners, oh gosh anchovies like with their dogs as the ocean. I would never thrown my self to stuffy crowds willingly to be honest. My saturday was only for my bed, but my therapist said pick one hobbie you want to be good at and commit to it. Underline, commit to it. 

There's a million things i want to try but commitment, i don't want to ruin your expectation about me but i can't promise it. It's scarry things. Like feeding a pack of abandoned wolf puppy. You give your time and money to raise those pups maybe you pour love into it. But its their decision to rather love you back, help you get thousand of followers, sponsored food, loyal viewer that never skip ad on your video; or hunt you down instead. It might be honey promising risk with a colony of bees stung you whole body. I'd rather just call animal services for the wolf. Get Honey from Target where it doesnt hurt me at all. 

Thankfully (or awfully?) I have one bestfriend that likes to nag me over anything. Points out all my bad habit and demand me to change. Or at least get help. Because sometimes we have wounds on blind spot. Carried it everywhere as tattoos. 

You need some one who mend them. Someone who is able to bear the ugliness and put a bandage on it. She did all that my poor Ally. That helplessly leads me to the sense of gratitude. A gesture to at least try what she said. Try any hobbie that comes to mind. She said the journey of finding a match hobby is like a journey Frodo took to Mordor. So if she thinks this Saturday morning on Central Park worth trying, worth scowling because she knows how irritated i am to wake up at 6 in the morning then i'll at least try.

"Morning guys." A blonde woman speaks in the center of our circle. "Thank you for coming to our very first photography class. I'm Trisha, you can call me Tris. Our meeting scheduled every saturday for four weeks with different speaker each day. Today's lecture will be presented by one of New York's top tier photographer. He worked for New York Times, Time magazine, Elle magazine and guess what, Vogue magazine." 

The air full on anticipation. 

"One and only, Jeremy Hopkins"

Then everyone's mouth gasp for air. Like they don't understand how could Jeremy Hopkins be on this pheasant gathering. While my brain is screaming "Who the hell is Jeremy Hopkins?!"

Then somebody stand up from the crowd. Blue v neck sweater, coat, jeans, and boot. Looking stylish yet casual. For a man praised so high, i know that he is definitely humble. I try to give his face a better look but his brown hair covered half part of his face. He gave a few of timid waves for their standing offasion before tentatively walking to the center.

A smile now covered his face. I almost laugh for his forced uncomfortable smile. He really looks like a scaredy cat up the tree. Oh God, what kind of bet that is this poor man lost to. He clearly doen't want to be there.

"Hi everyone. Thanks for uh.. thanks for the uumm.. heartwarming welcome."

The clapping are now louder that most of the people passed by, turn their head to us. He starts to look even more uncomfortable as he squirms his nose a little. If i didn't promise Ally i would definitely just sneak away. I'll bring that poor guy with me also.

"Oh God.. guys please.. thank you but please sit for a while before we begin"

Thankfully they obey and manage to stop making noises.

"Thank you guys, i really appreciate it."

Oh yeah right, you do.

"Alright. So.. thank you for coming. I would never expect you will be this excited for today's 2 hours lesson." 

Then he swipe his eye to the crowd as if he is looking for something or someone. It's kind of annoying for me because he keeps on pausing on every sentenses distractedly. 

"Today i... won't be talking to much but... instead.. i... will give you a challenge first before we start."

Then his eyes meets mine. I start to look around me trying to figured out what exactly is this guy looking for. But i got no clue.

"I will give you three spots on central park for you to capture. Bow bridge, Betsheda fountain, and the Lake. No rules at all, just snap and go back here. 20 minutes. Is that alright?"

The crowd murmured. 

"Just to acknowledge your basic skill, that's all."

Well, okay. I expect that he will gave a speech about theory of photography not some sort of pretest. Please don't think that i am those prodigies or gifted person that got her revenge as a black horse. Suddenly got good on something and throw shades back to her enemies. LoL no. I got nothing on photography. I even blurred out my own selfies. Just the thought of this and how people looks so pro with their stuff actually makes me a little insecure. I definitely should try hard to get a good shot. Of bow bridge. this hour. Saturday.

I start to gather my bag and walk whe somebody approach me from behind. Half running. 

"Excuse me, miss." 

I back up and found a pair of green eyes looking at me. The poor guy! He sigh a relieve when he finally standing in front of me. I almost give him a pat in the back but i need to maintain my composure right?

"Yes?" 

I said as i almost drop my phone.

"Sorry if i startled you, i umm.. i.. i'm Jeremy."

"Ou yeah, i managed to acknowldge your name. I'm Sarah." 

I smile and offer my hand for a hand shake. 

"Sarah, um.. yeah i know.. i know what your name is umm.. i mean.. you don't remember me?"

He stutters as he looks down on my eyes with hopes and expectation. What a pressure when you are trying hard to keep your self awake, and forced to dig information out of my brain cells. I know i probably look stupid right now as his smile faded from his cheek. God this poor guy. He looks sad right now! What do i gotta do.. Damn it. Wait wait. I need to dig it harder.

"Mmmmm..."

A bit more. I look closer to his face. 

"Mmmmm..i'm so so sorry, ha ha i can't recall anything. Have we met before?" as i tilt my head and put on my best appologetic smile.

"You are from Paramount High, right? Class of 2010?"

"Whoa how do you know?"

"I went there too! Remember J, the shorty kid followed you every where? We were in a lot class together. choir. Theater. Marchingband. Math, and chem?"

"Hold up let me just... J.. J.."

"Ha ha it's okay if you forgot. It's decade ago."

"No no, wait.. J.. J... J!!! J! Oh My God!!!! You were that kid with tons of baseball jacket right? Like you never ran out of them."

"Ha ha yes that was me. Glad you remember that one particular thing."

"Jesus look at you! Oh My God. You are so tall! You are like.. sorry i didn't recognize you. Well you look like a totaly different person!"

He flustered.

"Haha No. look at you. I mean you look great."

"No.. i'm just being me. Ha ha i want to talk to you right now but i got to snap some pictures, you know. so let's head there together?"

He gesture his right hand to the direction. I notice a group of girl start to look at me like i'm their prey. What is actually wrong with them?

"Wow.. I never expect to meet you here. How come i never know?"

"I didn't know you're here either. Until i met Ally."

"You know Ally?"

"Well yeah. We met weeks ago and learnt that the Sarah she trashtalked about was you."

"Oh Gosh.. Whatever she said just don't mind it. You know Ally." 

I said as i smile remembering my bestfriend. Anyone could be insulted by her but it's just the that she being honest actually. 

"I never thought photography would be your thing." I said.

"When college didn't work out i guess i gotta do what i gotta do."

"Pay youself a respect, J. You know you're good."

He smile humbly.

"I'm just lucky to have a lot of help. How bout you anyway, never heard you are into this?"

"Well i'm not actually."

"Really? Was it Ally?"

"Half Ally, half my therapist."

I can't help my self not to tell him about that hobby thing. I told him how many things i have tried. Run, cycling, poetry, piano, guitar, fencing, even figure skating with russian coach. Nothing sticks to my mind. Nothing sparks fire. Nothing makes me crave more of it. 

"I want to learn those things but i just can't keep my energy up for them. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I'm kind of skeptical about this one also."

"Really? Why?"

"I can't even hold my camera straight. I always get shaky image and..."

"And?"

"You'll hate me for this.. ha ha"

"Try me Sarah."

"I.. umm.. I don't like the idea of waiting. You know like people waiting for sunset from 4 pm sitting there doing nothing for something uncertain. It could be cloudy, so you wait for nothing. "

"Yes, but it could be rosy, clear, orange with splash of pink. Sweet. Beautiful."

"Still, the idea of waiting is.."

"Noo Sarah.." he shake his head. 

"It's never all about waiting. It's about finding too. You see for example that bin over there. I can make a million dollar shot out of that stupid bin because i found it's beauty. Wait for it to be beautiful is never make anysense. To what standard beauty holds anyway?"

"Ummmm yeah make sense.. but.. i still skeptical about.."

"Oh Gosh you know what, it is so on,Sarah"

"What on?"

"A bet is on, lady. I will make you love photography in a day, today."

"Really? what a confidence. Where's that humble guy figetting over compliments?"

She just throw me the warmest smile.

"You won't loose anything anyway, come on."

"Well, you got a lot work to do because probably there are more people like me in your class."

"Who says we are going back to the class?"

"What?How about.."

"It's Ally's class actually, she's in charge right now. Let's go." 

"Wait.. so.. y-you..."

Wait what? I really can't grasp any of logical explanation over this. A friend from memory accidentally being my photography mentor, on my firsy day, he is also a friend of Ally. Is it just me or something does smell fishy around here. You know what? I'll just pretend i don't know about all this because a girl's job to pretend not knowing, am i right? Protecting boy's pride and just get along with them. I might have commitment issues but i'm not blind. He is cute and i really got nothing to loose. I sincerely declare that i bite your bait, Jeremy Hopkins.

He take me first to the spot. Bow Bridge. As i expected, it is crowded as hell. I actually build an image in my brain on how my snap would look like in. Guess what, i doesn't included any of these furrball walker. I lean on the handrail hopelessly. 

"Why? Go on shoot."

"Can't you see it's crowded?"

"Shouldn't be a problem. The key is to find the beauty."

"Theoritically"

"Ha ha no. See what you are doing right now? You are waiting for a moment to match with your imagination. In fact it doesn't always happen. Mostly it never happens. So make the most of of this unpleasant situation."

Oh my God, yeah Jeremy whatever. I don't like the fact that part of me agree with him. While the other part, my ego still holds it. I scan on anything i can get. Oh there you go. I catch something interesting with my eyes. A tiny women bring two teenager greatdane, trying to get a grip on them. What an unwise of a decision. A lovey dovey doing nothing but making out in the middle of the crowd.

"Well, not bad. Not bad at all. See i told you." 

A wicked smile appear on his cheek. I can't help but smack his hand. 

After our legs limping from walking around Central Park, maybe hundreds of photos have been captured, then we landed on an amazing mexican grill place, in Coney Island. I couldn't believe how random he could be. He could popped out idea out of no where and i ended up following him. Guess where were we going after lunch. New York Aquarium. I mean what?! This morning i only planned to go to two hours photography workshop, how come it become a whole day trip. Yes took a couple of pictures but mainly he took tons of pictures of me.

"Fasten your seatbelt, miss. Next stop. Brooklyn Bridge Park, sunset, and pizza."

"What?! We just eat?!"

"Oh no no, no cookery elidgible enough to cancel something as mandatory as pizza."

We finally throwed our our jelly legs to the grass. Breath the afternoon air under the master pieace of human colonization. Now we wait for sunset. This should be the part where i hate the most. Clock ticking on my wrist. I follow his move and lay my head down to the grass.

"Sarah? Can i ask you something?"

"Umm yeah.."

He suddenly pull his body up yo sitting. Watching me closely.

"How did you get a therapist?"

"I.. uhh... called her.. office?"

"No no.. ummm.. why? Why did you get a therapist?"

I got up and look at him right in the eyes. A bit of memories flashed before my eyes. I still got chills all over my bodies remenisching the actual act.

"S-sorry you don't have to tell me if.."

"It's because of my ex and my father."

Then he spoke his silence. Looking into the East River before us under the mighty Brooklyn Bridge. 

"You know, my father was a drunk. He used to blast my mom with his belt, or his hand or even his feet. I had the fortunate to saw everything."

I let out a sigh.

"Then i worked my ass out to build my courage, to amen that not every guy like my father. I got together with my ex."

"Danny" he murmured.

"Yes. I put my best effort to make it work but in the end he cheated, i was wasted."

"I'm so sorry.."

I let out a big sigh.

"Here i am. Turn into the grinch who hate... idk.. commitment? That's what my therapist said, i need to try to gain it back with focus on just one hobby. Everytimes it gets hard, i automatically stopped. Don't want to put too much energy to it just to see it fails in the end."

"So, no more waiting for sunset?"

"There's no sunset, Jeremy."

"There WAS no sunset, but there IS. There WILL be."

An orange canvas painted before our eyes with pinkish splashed on top of it. Blue and purple still sparks here and there. A perfect bubble gum sky. A stoic bulding with red sprinkles acted only as a decoration. The main act, the main show is the sunset.

"I see that commitment exagerate things, Sarah. Good thing with commitment, best. Bad things with commintment, worst. You just need to learn when is the right time to FIND the beauty on everything served on your plate, and WAIT for something even better to come."

He sigh. 

"Give life a chance. It might be cloudy but it's rosy possibly." 

He looked at me deeply. A pair of green mesmerizing eyes staring at me. Eximining. Then my mind go blank. While fixing his hair, i pull up the camera, then my vision is now... change. Those green and pink sky behind it just so pure yet majestic. Beautiful yet vulnerable. I want to experience this again.

The shutter keep on clicking as i try another pose. Let my hand join the frame. Fix his hair, poke his nose, close one of his eyes where he smile and change the curve.I captured all the emosion. My hand landed again on his soft skin covered with thin red hair, cares his cheeks.

"You eyes are beautiful"

I mumble. Then his eyes change again. I can tel he is a little bit shock and embarassed but he bear it all. After split second, his gaze soften like silk. But there's pain there's theres vulnerability. Soft but it cuts your heart. His gaze is so strong that it feels like he is gazing through my soul. Break it's stupid wall and pull it back to where it belong. Revelation and resurection.

His hand slowly reach out to mine. So slow i can even feel the trace of his middle finger all the way up to his cheek. His piercing eyes never leave mine. Then he pull my hands in as if he is saying don't ever leave. Close his eyes as the heat intensifies. Grab my palm, bring it to his mouth and he kiss it. Not just with his pretty lips but with all his being like it is the most beautiful possession he ever has. When he open his eyes. I saw nothing but sunset. Didn't realize how deep got i lost in those green eyes until he push down my camera and pull me into a kiss.

Give me a chance, would you?