New Year's Eve Fiasco

I do not like New Year’s Eve. Why? I am often asked. There are times that I wish I had an excuse that would make people leave me alone. Reasons like my religion forbids it or it goes against my values. However, I have no valid excuse to not celebrate New Year’s Eve. I mean I do have an excuse…but it isn’t considered valid by anyone else but me. My life sucks. Not completely, but enough that celebrating New Year’s Eve is a joke. All these traditions and the last kiss at midnight or whatever. It is not worse my time and energy. I strongly associated New Year’s Eve with new beginnings. A time to start over with a clean slate. Unfortunately, all that ponies and rainbows stuff when out the window when my last year’s resolution happened. Of all my goals the one that I wanted the most came true and that is when everything turned to muck.

Here’s why celebrating New Year’s Eve is not worth the time and effort. Every year I would set goals. I loved goal setting on New Year’s Eve. Heck, I even made a vision board. It had quotes, pictures, and it even was bedazzled. This particular year I had a magazine cut out of a couple looking at the sunset. That’s all I wanted. Someone special to come into my life that particular year. Someone who would share in my difficulties and in my good times. The awesome part was that it happened. Or so I thought.

My supposed friend set me up on a blind date with someone who supposedly admired me from afar. She made it sound so romantic. I was at her church and he stared at me from a distance. He had been thinking about me for a few years. He sounded trustworthy and nice. I guess I should of adhered to the signs that he was not for me. However, believing that I was finally getting my New Year’s resolution for a perfect soul mate, I didn’t care. I was seduced by the fact that he had been pining way for me. He made me laugh and seemed to care about me. Our values seemed to be in sync as well. We both were family oriented. He even went to visit my mom at the hospital when she was sick. The reality was that he and I weren’t meant to be.

The story begins when we were to go out and he had an accident. Fracturing both his legs in some shady part of town. I still till this day do not know how the accident happened. He never wanted to share the story. We had gone out for a year and he never told me what happened. The friend that introduced us did say that he had a “little” alcohol problem. I was so engrossed in the idea that my New Year’s resolution was happening that I ignored this red flag. The red flags continued to show themselves. He continually talked about how his landlady wanted to sell the house where he rented the basement. He needed a home and wanted his whole family to come and visit his new home. Furthermore, he wanted many children out of wedlock and wanted me to go back to school to get a better paying job for him to live comfortably! Yes, my Romeo was horrendous. Shrek was looking better everytime.

It took a year for me to give up on this relationship. I said yes to everything he proposed for me to do and be. He had told me once that he did not ask for much, but he had a long to do list for me to complete in order to be the girl that he wanted in his life. I remember when I told him that children were not a good idea for me because of certain health issues. He said that he wanted children and I needed to at least try for him. I smiled shyly and said yes. I was miserable. However, I had a significant other in my life. My goal for this year was complete. However, the last straw was when he wanted his friend to move in with us and not pay anything. I knew then that his interest in me was on only on what I could give him.

So finally, I decided to stop this train wreck before it ended hurting me and others. Breaking up with him became my new goal. It seemed like an insurmountable task, but it was much easier when he said, “But everyone in my family knows about us.” I didn’t care. My family knew about him as well and that did not stop the best decision to dump him.  He didn’t take it as well. Most probably because he wanted to live with me and then there was the question of his citizenship that linked him to another woman. His wife! I found this all out towards the end. He finally got it when a friend threatened him with the police. This goal also cost me two friends that were on his side. Of course, I realized that they were not my friends.

I now breath a sigh of relief and am careful about New Year’s Eve. My New Year’s Eve plans are to work and relax. There will be no Times Square or champagne for me. There will be no more vision boards or goals that are ridiculous. I will keep it low key. I will not set my expectations high and have then burst into flames. I will not be overly optimistic about things that are not for me. I will keep my feet grounded and not allow myself any fanciful dreams that lead to heartache or other maladies. This time of year has always meant to me new chances to change and plan for future endeavors. Now I can see clearly that New Year’s Eve means. Just another day in our lives.