What's Gonna Kill Me Today?

He opened his eyes, awaking in a short gasp. He looked around his room; same old clothes scattered around, Bowie posters, his PS5 perfectly in place on his dresser next to his snake Sybil. Not running around a dead winter forest covered in haze, chasing a silver fox then losing it in said haze, a man in white hunting camo point-blanking a Remington at him and then he was here.   

He felt his pulse quake, but he shook it off. He had shit to do. Like going to school where between classes and study breaks, he'd tell others what their dreams meant to them. He had good intuition, some called him an 'oracle' of sorts, and he used it to his advantage. It was like his side hustle that he usually got paid for in small tokens of gratitude like tasty snacks or various illicit substances.   

"I'm tellin you man like I was running in the direction of the freeway from a fucking pissed off polar bear! I was about to be T-Bone man! Like, why? Why am I always running from danger into more danger?! Like, dafuq man?!" One of his more anxious clientele Neil rambled on.   

"Maybe you just watch too much news." Nate said gazing out the windows of the student lounge.   

"Come on, that's not what I pay you for."   

"You don't pay me."   

"It’s like, what's gonna kill me today?"    

"It sounds like you need to stop taking Adderall before bed.”   

“Seriously dude?!" Nate smirked, straightening up.   

“Honestly, that’s just your anxiety manifesting. The polar bear is representative of you becoming independent and or more confident against the odds of your currently chaotic life.”     

“That’s it?”   

“You want me to consult with my crystal ball to be sure? ‘Seriously dude’, what was the answer you were looking for? Now where my addie balls?” The guy sighed and gave him his requested concoction of upper-downers. “Yee.”   

“Whatever man.”  

Shortly after, a girl from his math class came up to him.   

“Hey Nate.” She said coyly.   

“Hey Ely. You wanna know why a pink marshmallow man was chasing you down Wilshire again?” She laughed all too heartily.   

“You’re so much! And too cute to be so weird but I like it..." He was quite handsome, tall, dirty blonde who dressed in brand name style, and he knew it, and it worked for him.   

"I got you green tea Hello Pandas."   

"Nice. So, what is it this time?"   

"I was riding a pink horse with bouncing curls like that My Little Pony horse, what’s she called…”   

"That sounds like a nightmare."   

         "Tsk, whatev ok? It was like cool and then, Nate, are you listening?" His intense stare out the window became all too obvious.   

             "Uh, yea, totally I was just looking at bird over there."   

             “What bird? I don’t see a bird…”   

             “Ah shit, it’s almost 1 I got to get to class. Can I take a rain check?” Ely sighed.   

             “I guess.”   

             “Can I have those green tea pandas though? I skipped lunch.”   

             “Sure…?” She handed them over reluctantly.   

             “Thanks, you’re a peach.” He winked and she smiled bashfully.   

             “You make enough to get me some Takis?” He pivoted around to see his friend Jared behind him.

             “No, I got some green tea pandas though.” He said popping some in his mouth.   

             “I’ll take some of those.” Jared took the box from him.   

             “Yea sure you can have some…”   

             “Man, anyone tell you that you look like shit?” Jared said before throwing in a handful of crackers in his mouth.   

             “Au contraire. Ely said I’m too cute to be so weird.”   

             “Nah, your eyes are all red and baggy.”   

             “Not even!” He was a little insecure about his fair looks. Jared laughed.   

             “And so testy, like I said…”   

             “Yea, well, it’s the dreams again…” His buddy knew about his intuitive powers and the strain it had on him at times.   

             “Are you still in the forest?”   

             “Still chasing silver foxes and getting shot in the face, I think…?” Nate shrugged but nodded.   

             “Mmhmm. You told Gerald yet?"  

             “Nah…”   

             “I sure as hell don’t know what to tell you about that, at least he can guide you in the right direction, give you a potion or something?"   

             “I spose…”   

Gerald was the chair of the alchemic sciences department at school, or rather chair of the chemistry department as it was officially known to the rest of the school. He was also their advisor to the Order of Merlin club at school, an elite secret society of magicians and intuitive sorts like Nate himself. He was also Nate's personal mentor on account of him being somewhat of an oracle, in addition to being a water mage. The guy was a total pro.   

             They headed over to the Alchemy department which was off the west wing of the chem labs below the clocktower.   

            Nate knocked the secret knock.   

             DUN DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN!   

             They waited for the door to crack open.   

             “Ah! Jared and Nate, step into my office…”   

             Gerald was somewhere between Dumbledore and the Dude; wizened blonde hair with silver streaks, an alchemist robe over a Hawaiian shirt. Nate couldn’t ever really figure him out but appreciated his professional yet approachable demeanor.   

             “Check this out.” He brought them a purplish green plant with frosty looking leaves.             

“A new NorCal indica strain?” Nate admired it. Gerald shook his head.   

             “Devils Claw crossed with the seed of a violet four-leaf clover to create the purplish hues. Useful for pain and purification."  

             “Can you smoke it?” Jared asked.   

             “No, for oral consumption. And it’s not mind altering.”   

             “Ah.” Jared and Nate nodded their heads in unison.   

             “Anyway, what can I do you two for?”   

             “Nates having nightmares.”   

             “I was gonna go with a simple request for a sleeping potion but sure let’s jump right in…” Nate said.    

             “Ah sorry I forgot the chardonnay and talk about the weather.” Gerald chuckled, shaking his head.   

             “No worries. It’s not too uncommon these days, things are so different than they were 30 years ago, even the weed…” Nate and Jared shrugged and nodded. “So anyway, what is it about the dreams that are bothering you? Are they premonitions? Or are we talking more on the monster realm?”   

             “It’s the one dream where I’m just running through a dead winter forest, chasing a silver fox, white rabbit or what have you till I come unto a man in white. And then he stares me down intensely until he pulls out a gun or some sort of weapon to kill me with and then I usually wake up." The cauldron bubbled with his latest concoction while Gerald pondered on his explanation.   

             “That doesn’t sound like a premonition, too random, a man in white hunting camos? A dead winter forest? Hmm…”   

             “That is all what I said…” Gerald went to his bookcase to see if he could find answers. 

             "So old school..." Jared said.   

             "Siri isn't exactly as helpful on these subjects...ah..." he said, grabbing a book on Dream Interpretations and Astral Projection for Oracles Vol. 1   

             “Hmm…there is a way to further investigate…”   

             “Which is?”   

             “Well, you and I can take an astral sleep potion, inducing a state of active dreaming. So basically, I can join you in your dream and figure out what’s going on in there. Could be a Mare…”   

             “A dream demon?”   

             “Possibly, but let’s not jump to conclusions.”   

             “Well damn.” Jared shook his head.   

             “So, you’re gonna incept me? And were gonna fight a dream demon or something?”   

             “Essentially…”   

             “Wow that's super sci-fi." Jared said.    

             “I’ve never shared a dream before. I mean not consciously.”   

             “That’s a lie! I know you’ve incepted mine before.”   

             "It's not my fault you were giving off such open vibes!"   

             “Open vibes? What?”

             “Guys! There’s a first time for everything. Besides it’s a useful skill you should have as an oracle." Nate took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together.   

             “Alright then, I’m ready prof, assuming time permits? I just want to be done with this already."   

             "I don't have another class today, just some essays to grade later. I have two chaise loungers here by the fireplace we can use."   

             "You all need me to do something while I'm just standing round here...?" Jared asked standing by them a little aimlessly.   

             "I suppose it's always handy to have someone on the outside to keep an eye out for any irregularities."   

             “Aight, I got Fortnite.”   

             "Lord help you." Nate shook his head.   

             “We shouldn’t be too long, remember timing in dreams moves more rapidly than real time.”   

             “I remember, I’ve seen Inception.” Nate nodded.   

             “Alright well let me get the potions from the cabinet.” Gerald went down a couple stairs next to the inglenook to retrieve the two small vials of luminescent liquid.  

             “Potions always look like your drinking lava lamp juice.” Jared looked intently at the bluish green vials. Gerald handed one to Nate.  

             “Thanks for that tasty tidbit.” Nate swirled it in his hand.   

             “It’s so little you won’t notice the taste. Just close your eyes and swallow, just like taking Nyquil.”   

             "Right..." 

             They got situated on two chaise lounges in front of the fireplace and Jared made himself comfortable in a small armchair next to them.   

             “Alright Nate, when you’re ready.”   

             “Bottoms up.” He lifted the vial to his lips and took it down, Gerald following his lead. “See you in a few.” Jared waved and went to his phone. And within a couple seconds they descended into dreamland.   

Nate opened his eyes to see the barren white forest surrounding him once again, silent and foreboding. Until he heard the crunch of leaves underfoot, and he saw something pass by in the corner of his eyes, a deer he figured. Then he heard another sound of movement. He looked around warily.   

             “Here.” A voice called, and he turned to see Gerald behind him.   

             “Ah, hey.”   

             “It’s pretty, you know? Winter wastelands kind of have a serene-like quality to them.” Gerald said observing the surrounding scenery. 

             “I 'spose.”   

             “Ok Nate, you lead.”   

             “Well, my spirit animal usually pops up about now…” They stood for a moment, absorbing the sound of silence.   

             “I say we start making our way…” Gerald started.   

             “Look!” Nate pointed to the white rabbit hopping past their feet. They followed it through the red dying trees until a silver fox emerged suddenly from behind a frosty bush and set upon it, plunging its fangs into the rabbit’s white neck. Red oozed out of the fresh wound and Nate looked on transfixed. Gerald put his hand upon his shoulder.   

             “It’s just nature’s way.”   

             “I know.” He shook it off. The fox clenched its prey in its mouth before setting off across the frozen lake. They followed slowly, cautiously across the snowy ice to see what lie ahead.   

             Once they reached the other side the fox disappeared. It was still, Nate felt a twitching in the tips of his fingers, like something ominous lie ahead.                

             In the distance he saw the figure of the man in white. He ran towards him, Gerald in tow, but as they approached Nate lost sight of him, feeling something lingering behind him, and so they switched direction.   

             Then the shots were fired. Gerald and Nate barely ducked out of the way. They heard some from another angle, and Gerald lifted his arm swiftly, freezing and shattering the bullets to snowdust. An arrow whizzed by their heads. Another barely scratched Nates’ arm, a line of blood trickling down.

             They ran in the opposite direction, skidding onto the icy lake. Two more arrows pierced the lake, and this was alarming due to the fire on the ends. They proceeded precariously while the ice blocked and broke apart.   

             “Shit!” Nate cried trying to hold his balance atop a teetering chunk. Gerald laid his hand upon the ice, freezing it back together within seconds. Then the eerie silence persisted once again. Nate pushed himself up shakily.   

             “What do you want from me huh?!” He cried to the sky, shaking his fists at it. "Fucking bastard! You're not God, don't even know why I was looking upwards..."   

             And then he saw the man in white emerging from the barren forest. Nate and Gerald stayed still. Once the man came closer, Nate found himself encircled with duplicates.   

             “What the fuck is going on? You Loki or something?!” He spun around frantically. He blinked and then they were gone except for the one in front of him.   

             “Who are you?” The man lowered his gaiter mask, revealing a familiar face.   

             “You're…me?” He had half a smirk on his face. Then he looked down. Blood emerged from his lower abdomen where ‘he’ pulled a knife from.   

             “Nate!” Gerald barely caught him before he fell over onto the icy floor. His dupe stood still above him, looking on silently.   

             “Nate, Nate, are you with me? Time to wake up now, come on buddy…” Gerald looked back up at the dupe, still standing there smiling. He looked back down at Nate, and the light faded out of his eyes.   

             “Shit!” Then he heard a gasp. He looked up and 'dupe' Nate was looking at his bloodied hands, then down at his own dead body.   

             “Gerald what the hell is happening? The fuck is wrong with me?!” Gerald lowered his dead body down onto the ice, a pool of blood forming around it. Gerald looked at the body, then at a befuddled Nate. Then he felt a light flake fall onto his nose, then more sprinkling slowly around him. He shook his head.   

             “Nothing…” He chuckled to himself.   

             “What’s so funny?”   

             “No, it’s just, I was foolish. I thought this might be a monster, a curse..."   

             “Well, if it’s not, I’m not, a demon, or whatever, what the hell is this? And is it snowing?" Nate looked at the snow flurrying around him.     

             “This is something more Freudian than of my expertise.”

             “So I’m just crazy then?”   

             "Not at all. I’m just saying this isn’t my expertise but more like Dr. Singh’s.”

             “Really man? All this just to say I ought to see a shrink…”   

             “Not even, it just wouldn’t hurt to check into her office hours for a second opinion, I do it all the time…”   

             “All I wanted was a potion to sleep!”   

             “Nate, not all things can be solved with magic, believe me. A disease in the mind is as bad as a demonic spell. 

             "Ugh, how underwhelming this is!" Nate collapsed dramatically onto a pile of freshly fallen snow.   

             "How overdramatic you are." Gerald smirked. Nate pegged him with a snowball to the face. They both smirked, shaking their heads.   

             "But Nate, you’re not coming out of this empty handed. Your journeys far from over, but at least you have a starting point and friends to guide you. You’re not just a supporting character in this mess of a modern-day story." 

             "'Spose your right." Nate pat the snowball in his hands.   

             "Are you ready to wake up?"   

             "YEESSSS...but wait, like how?"   

             "You will it."   

             "I what?"   

             "Will..."   

             "No, yea I got that but how? Take 3 deep breaths? Or clicks of my heels?" he tapped his heels sarcastically.   

             "Close. Just close your eyes..." Nate followed his cue. "Breathe deep, and let yourself go..."   

             And then he opened his eyes to the alchemy lab. He sat up, looking around the room. Jared stirred from his phone game half asleep.   

             "So yea, everything was all good on this end. How was it in there?" He pointed to his head.   

             "I'm alive..." Nate pat himself around almost as if to be sure. Gerald stirred up from his slumber.   

             "How’re you feeling Nate?" Nate stretched and yawned.   

             "I'm actually legit tired but I feel like I might actually be able to get some sleep tonight."   

             "Good. Then go home and go to bed." Jared said.  

             "Yes sir! And you’re my roommate not my captain." Nate punched Jared in the shoulder.   

             "Its good advice though. I suggest you heed it." Gerald tipped his head at them.  

             "Fair enough. And thanks again Gerald, for helping me, ah kill myself? Or whatever..."    

             "What?!" Jared cried.   

             "I’ll explain in a minute..."    

             As soon as he got home, he went to his room and crashed onto his bed. He finally slept that night, and he found himself in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle at Disneyland with Jared next to him munching on a mouse shaped macaroon cookie.  

             "Dude, are you incepting me again?" Jared said between bites.  

             "Looks like it.”    

             "Fine, whatever. Buy me a dole whip then."  

             "Munchies much? Fine cause I want one too." He looked up at the brilliantly pink castle shining against the sun. "You know, I always dream that I’m coming here but I never make it in." Jared finished his cookie, wiping his mouth. 

             "I guess today’s your lucky day then my friend. Down to hit up Main?"

             “Yee.” 

             “Les’ do it.”