A tale of Two Cities.

        Heaven and Hell.  That should be the name of these two cities:   Heaven in and Hell.   See in the one I’m allowed to earn money, in the other I lose benefits if I make a dime.   In one, I can get married and have kids, in the other, I lose food if I do this.   Forget about the U D H R, benefits take that away, but in the city outside this country, I don’t have to worry about these benefits, I can live the American dream, but not in America.  Sounds paradoxical, because it is.   Heaven and Hell.  Remember, one man or woman’s Heaven is another man or woman’s Hell and vice versa.   Isn’t it great, you could sit on your ass and watch tv all day and get paid.  I don’t like watching tv all day or living with idiots.  

     Someone breaks my coffee maker because I tell them to shut up.   Someone else makes a hole in the wall, because somebody moved their laundry.   Fist fights every day and this is where good old Uncle Sam feels safe with me being.  People talking at the top of their lungs about bullshit and asking me stupid questions every two seconds like who’s moving into room five at their house?   Why the hell would I know that.  So, sign up for bowling to get the fuck out of this place and I can’t even get a goddamn beer, because it’s against their policy.  Hell.  Whereas if I hitch a ride out of here, I could get a name change, go to school, get a degree, and get a home and motherfucking gun.   And me and my fucking family would be the only ones with a key to my home and no more goddamn room inspections.  If anyone comes to my home, they’d better have a goddamn warrant.   Heaven.   Alarm system, tasers, guns, locked phones, full internet access, friends, family, Heaven.   No more shitty food.  I can eat what I want, where I want, when I want, and with whoever I want.  If I don’t like where I eat, I can get a to go bag or just walk out.   No more waiting for shitty food.  

      They put an alarm system on every night, to “keep us safe” and there are fences all around the property to “keep us safe”.   Visitors must be on our legal guardian approved list to enter or take us anywhere.   Right.  Wouldn’t want a villager to be adultnapped.   Child protection on all the computers.   God forbid we should get an erection.  

     Once, I was able to sneak out my window after the alarms were set and the alarms didn’t go off.   I went down the fire escape and wandered off campus.  I knew if I was discovered, all police, firefighters, ambulances, everyone would be after me.  But after evening meds and dinner orders they tend to leave us alone.   So, I snuck off campus in good clothes and I went to a fucking bar.   Oh, sorry, a single’s bar to find someone to fuck.  

     I ordered a Bass.  The bartender IDed me and I had my license in my wallet.  And he gave it to me.   I tasted smooth like water in a drought.  And I could feel the buzz.  I started talking to the women at the bar.   Usual bullshit.  What do you do for a living, are you married, kids, how often do you come here?   Usual bar bullshit and this is Heaven and we talk and she invites me to her place.  Fuck Hell, I’m buzzed and I’m going.   I pay my bill and she pays hers and we leave, leaving 20 % tips.  

*

   We get to her place, a medium sized apartment with a full bath, a kitchen, a family room, and a bedroom.  She offers me a drink and I accept.  

     We talk and she tells me about her family, her coworkers, usual bullshit.   And then we watch a movie.  She asks what I’d like to watch and I tell her we can watch anything she likes so we watch the classic, “While You Were Sleeping”.   Chic Flick.  But in the middle of the movie I put my right hand on her forehead and pet her hair and we start kissing each other light.   But it gets deeper.  She puts her tongue into mine and sits on my lap, ignoring the fucking movie.  I peel off her shirt and we keep making out.  I can taste the vodka in her mouth and I’m sure she tastes the Bass.  I see her breasts bouncing in her bra and I reach behind her and unclasp it.  Her bra drops to the ground.  I grope her and her nipples are erect.  And I unbutton her jeans and she takes my shirt off.   This is Heaven.   And we go in the bedroom and do what youngsters do.   It feels nirvanic.   I ejaculate inside her and she squirts on me and we cuddle, like married, normal people do and she falls asleep and so do I.  

*

    We wake up to my goddamn cell phone ringing.  Shit.  What time is it ?   Motherfucker.   It’s morning med time I push silent and smile, but the bastards call again and again.   She gives me the sad dog eye look and asks if it’s my wife or girlfriend and if I’d lied to her.   No, it’s not my wife, I’m single and you’re my only girlfriend.   It’s the motherfuckers at the shithole I live in or it’s my legal guardian or the fucking cops.   Son-of-a-bitch.   I lie and try to explain I have to go.  We exchange phone numbers.    I walk out and remember she drove me to her home.  Damn it.   Run.  

    Didn’t leave fucking bread crumbs and then I hear it or see it or something.   Sirens.  The cops.   They ask my name and I tell them.   They place me in the back of the cop car and it’s leather.   I almost fall asleep and then they arrive back at the shit hole I live in and I know I’m in trouble.   Mother fucker.   Why did I have to fall asleep?   Why?  

     My legal guardians lectured me and threatened to throw away everything I own, my case manager lectured me, but I thought about moving in with my girlfriend so I wouldn’t have to live in this Hell with idiots ruled by narcissists and wondered if the door alarm went off, could I get back to my girlfriend’s and what if she got pregnant?