Redemption

One late spring day, Alexander was getting ready to have her first family game night. She has played games several times before with friends when she would sleep over with them, but this was the first time with family. Nervousness and excitement both gnawed at her stomach the closer it got to 5pm, she was ready to play, but was unsure on how the evening would go with everyone cooped up next to each other. It was a rainy day, and she didn’t mind, but it had ruined the plans they previously had to have a cook out and play flag football. She was looking forward to it, but this was something new for her and she was more excited playing board games with those she was closest to rather than running around outside. 

  “Alexander! Do you care to go upstairs and pick out some games from Sarah’s room?” Claire had yelled. 

  “Yeah, one second!” Alexander instantly hopped up from the couch, her stomach and heart both dropping. 

  Despite her instantly making her way to Sarah’s room, her sister, she became even more filled with dread as she realized that she was the picking out the games. It was a kind gesture, but Alexander was thinking about the choices she was going to make. She knew she had to pick a few, but she was unsure on which ones the family liked and didn’t want to get a boring one for them to play. The thought of just bringing all of the games down had crossed her mind, but the thought left as quickly as they had come; it would be too much of a hassle.

  Alexander made her way through the hallways and pass her own room before getting to Sarah’s, which was at the main end of the house. They all lived in a double-wide trailer with four bedrooms, it was slightly cramped but was an overall nice and well kept house. She studied the house interior as she walked, almost in awe at how well everything was put together. Alexander stopped in front of Sarah’s doorway, she almost knocked before remembering that she had left not too long ago to pick up a few pizzas from a local Italian restaurant. As she opened the door, she flipped on the light switch and admired her sister’s room. 

  Almost sadness engulfed Alexander as she lusted over Sarah’s room. She had a floor to ceiling bookshelf full of books, and a large 50-gallon fish tank full of different aquatic pets. Alexander had no bad feelings toward Sarah, she was only envious of how full her room was. How it looked lived in and taken care of. Alexander had a nice room, but she didn’t have many things in her room yet. It looked more like a boring motel room than a teenager’s room. Shaking the feeling of longing, she headed to Sarah’s closet to grab a few games. Sarah had a plastic tub with different board games and different card games. She studied the games pretty well. Every game she had looked at, she contemplated far longer than she should’ve. She made a pros and cons list in her head; fear and anxiety ended up creating more pros than she could keep up with. 

  Alexander knew she was overthinking this, and she knew she was taking up more time than she should. But she wanted everyone else to enjoy the games she picked out and didn’t want any possibility of an argument to happen. As she sat in Sarah’s floor, she began to realize how much of a mess she had made Sarah’s room. She had board games and somehow even cards scattered about. Afraid of upsetting her sister for creating a mess and knocking everything out of order, she started to scramble and pickup games but also putting them down. There were too many options and she felt herself become consumed by stress and worry. Before the tears could fall, a soft voice called to Alexander, asking if she was okay. 

  “Hey, Alexander?” Sarah asked, looking at her sister’s back from her door way. She noted the games scattered around and was concerned as to why there was so much around Alexander. 

  “Oh! I’m sorry, Claire sent me to pick some games! I couldn’t decide, so I laid them all out. I’ll pick a few and clean up!” Alexander still didn’t look at Sarah. 

  “You’re okay, do you need some help? Mom likes games that are trivial.” Sarah started to walk up to Alexander and picked up some cards to put them back. 

  Alexander didn’t want Sarah to know she was tearing up, so she picked the closest game that had two decks of cards with questions on them. “Thank you! I wasn’t sure if that one would be good enough or not.” 

  “Here, we’ll go with these. Take these to the dining room table and I’ll finish up here, I ordered some sausage and cheese pizza for us to eat. Mom doesn’t like for food to get cold.” Sarah had laughed softly. 

  “Yeah…” Alexander said, breathing a slight laugh. 

  Before Sarah could say anything else, Alexander grabbed the games and sped walk out of Sarah’s room. She appreciated how nice Sarah was to her, but the crushing guilt of not even being able to pick out a game weighed down on her. She didn’t want anyone to worry about her, but she also didn’t want to seem incapable of doing something so simple, despite it seeming that way to her. Quickly placing the games neatly down on the table, Alexander was rushed to get a plate and choose the pizza she wanted. 

  “You don’t want to let it get cold. And besides, Harold and Marshall will have it all eaten before us girls would even get a chance.” Claire said laughing, she loved to pick on her husband. 

  Alexander smiled and nodded, she believed Claire’s happiness to be infectious and it eased her anxiety some. Doing what she was told, she placed two slices of cheese pizza on her plate and sat down next to Marshall. He was the youngest, but not by much. Alexander was sixteen, while Marshall was fifteen, and Sarah twenty-one. Sarah came to join them quickly, and they all finished their dinner before too long. Alexander was becoming less worried as she remembered that Sarah was the one to pick out all of the games, but Claire wasn’t aware of that still yet. 

  “Well, let’s get the ball rolling!” Harlod exclaimed. He had a booming voice, which is what you’d expect from a six foot six man. 

  Sarah quickly grabbed the trivia game and began to set it up. Alexander watched how Claire beamed with happiness seeing her favorite game be put together. Alexander couldn’t help but to feel happy seeing how excited she got. “I love this game!” And then the game began. 

  Alexander began to loosen up and even found herself enjoying the games more than she was expecting to. There were a few times Marshall and Sarah got heated a few times, and once even resulted in some game pieces being thrown. But everyone was laughing through the foolish anger, which was something Alexander wasn’t really used to. It made her laugh, despite her knowing some anger was involved, but everyone was relaxed and had a glint in their eyes. Alexander was new to the family, and was weary of upsetting her new family. She was always aware of the possibility of being sent to a new family, so she always allowed her mind and worries to get the best of her. Being in foster care, Alexander had seen many different types of families, her biological family being the worst. Thinking of how this family acted and trusted her despite not really knowing her for long. 

  It was warm and welcoming; everything was clean and everyone played their own role in the house. No one got unnecessarily angry, and nothing was expressed physically. Everyone was equal and Alexander didn’t feel safe above all else. Tonight’s game night loosened her worries up a lot, it was the most fun she had in a long time. Not even her friend’s sleepovers were as enjoyable. For once, Alexander was thankful of the place she ended up at. For once in Alexander’s long, young life, she started to feel what home is supposed to be like. For the first of many, this will always be the most impacted family game night for her.