Catmmitment

March 2nd 1995 

I turned eight today! I am so happy. My birthday was so amazing. Normally we have a party at my house but because we had bugs in our hair last month ( Lice, l-i-c-e, like rice and even smaller!!!! ) mom let me have it at the Extreme Fun Palace at the small mall with the laser guns and the arcade cabinets and the trampolines! My brother has a huge bruise on his arm from where he fell on the metal, hahahaha. 

I got the cake and pizza! And soda too! Mom doesn't like me to have soda but she let me have it today because it's a special day! It was so good but kind of hurt too. Like playing pretend cats, which I don't do anymore in front of the other kids because its for babies, but I do sometimes when I'm alone.  Miao!

I had TWO friends at the party today and some of my cousins too, but my cousins didn't really want to hang out because their parents forced them to come. They still brought presents though so I am so happy! I got a pretty chapstick set and new sneakers that light up! I'm kicking them under my desk right now and they are sooo cool!

But that's not the best part! Mom saved the best present for when I got home....

...it's a kitten!  And all the stuff for a kitten! Litter box ( that's a kitten potty), a cute little food bowl, and a collar. The collar doesn't have a tag yet, mom's going to take me to the big store tomorrow with the engraving dog tag machine after I pick out a name. 

March 2nd 2003

AUGH! EVERYTHING SUCKS. It stinks so much, both literally and figuratively. Mom's new boyfriend is a loser. If she's going to date can't she at least date a guy with money??? What's the point? I will NEVER EVER date a loser like mom does. All I wanted for my birthday was to go to a concert. Not even a concert out of state, just one like three hours away, and I even offered to pay for the gas, but she  couldn't get the time off of work and she WOULDN'T LET ME TAKE THE CAR. And she didn't pay for driver's ed, and I can't drive myself because I don't have a license, so basically, mom mom ruined my birthday on purpose. THANKS MOM. 

And then she made me do chores. ON MY BIRTHDAY. I should be eating cake, not scooping up cat crap. I don't even want a stupid cat anymore, all Princess does is sleep and make noise and shed everywhere.

Yeah, I mean, it's sort of nice when I cry and she cuddles me, but like, it'd be way nicer if it was a boyfriend cuddling me instead. But who wants to date a loser who can't drive and who has to stay home on her birthday?

you know what??? I'm not going to stay home. I'm sneaking out. I don't know what i'll do, but it'll be more fun than 'staying in and renting a movie and ordered chinese'. ( THAT was her REAL suggestion, can you believe it????? )

March 2nd 2006

Mom called me today. I mean, I actually answered because she called me five times instead of just once and taking the hint. I'm pretty busy with getting ahead on all my assignments so I have NO homework over Spring Break (Florida, here I come!). When I answered, she asked me how I was but she seemed really distracted, like she was looking out a window or something. She wished me a happy birthday and said there should be a birthday card for me down in my mailbox if I remember to ask at the front desk, which I hadn't, but I did check now and it was there. The card was nice but it only had fifty bucks in it. 

Finally, I asked what was wrong and she told me Princess died.

At the time I didn't care and I told her it'd be okay and she could do whatever she wanted with the body. Mom says she'll prolly bury her in the backyard under one of the trees she always got stuck in. I said ok and hung up.

And I was okay.

Like, I was okay for the next four hours. I was okay until I tried to lay down for bed, and the corner of the pillow brushed my elbow, and I  missed her.

I guess I just assumed Princess would be there when I graduated. 

I'm not okay right now. 

March 2nd 2013

Well, the first present today was news I didn't get that job in Seattle. No surprises there. Why would they hire someone five hundred miles away when I'm sure there's plenty of people in Washington wanting to work there? I'm doing okay at my retail job but when I dropped out of college i thought it was just a hold over until I got back. Now that I'm one year older I'm starting to realize maybe this is just my life now and I gotta accept it for what it is. At least the rent is not high with mom, and since I've been helping we're really close to paying off the mortgage even with our shit jobs. And my friends are funny, and they gave me my second present today, which is tickets to go see a male strip show at the casino about two hours from here on Saturday. I  don't know if I'll actually go but she bought them so I think I have too? 

Sometimes it feels like I'm more squeamish then when I was sixteen, haha. I'm turning red just thinking about it even though I've seen waaay to many penises and shouldn't be embarrassed by a guy on stage, I totally am. At least the buffet at the casino is supposed to be REALLY good. 

My final present today was I finally brought home the black cat I've been volunteering with at the shelter. I've been going once a week and petting lots of cats, but this one I felt a real connection to. Mom was hesitant at first since she remembered how I lost interest in Princess, but now that I've been going for nearly a year I think I've convinced her that my commitment ( catmittment?) is sincere. 

I prepared this time. I saw some good deals at work so the new cat got a whole matching set, all in pastel blue with fake plastic rhinestones, from collar to food bowl. I even printed up her tag. She's not a kitten, she's about five years old.

I named her Queenie.