My ex is NOT dead

It was just another work day and I was running late as usual. As I was driving to work I realized that I forgot my coffee and breakfast sandwich on the kitchen table. There was no way that I was going to work without caffeine or food in my stomach. I tried to place my mobile order at the coffee shop, but the app was not working. As I passed by, the drive thru line was way too long so I parked my car in the parking lot and walked in instead. 

Thank goodness that Gina was working because she is the barista that knows exactly what I like and how I like it. 

“Hey girl, you want the usual...venti iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel sauce?” said Gina. 

“Yes, oh and a warm cranberry scone...and also add a venti cappuccino” I added. 

Gina looked at me and told her team that I needed my order pronto. She has been my go-to barista at my favorite coffee shop for over 3 years and she knew that when I ordered the cappuccino that I was either running late for work or was in trouble with my boss who happens to love cappuccino. 

She whipped up my order and I was out of there within 5 minutes. With both drinks in my hands and my bagged scone in my mouth I walked briskly to my car. When I got to my car I placed both drinks on the roof so I could unlock my door. My remote battery died, so I had to manually unlock the doors with my keys. After the door was unlocked and open I reached up to grab the drinks when I looked over to the car next to me that just pulled into the parking lot. 

I thought that he was dead, but there he was right in front of me sitting in his car, smiling at me. My mouth opened and my bagged scone fell onto the ground. I quickly picked it up, sat in my car, locked the doors, jumbled to get the key in the ignition, and reversed out of that parking lot as fast as I could. 

As I was driving, I was trying to convince myself that it was just my imagination and that maybe that guy was someone that looked like him, but there was no way that was him. I rushed to work and was only 15 minutes late and the boss was not in her office yet. I placed a note on the cappuccino. Gina was so good. She made sure that the temperature of the cappuccino was piping hot so that there was time before it became too cold to enjoy. 

I sat at my desk, cleared off all the papers so that I could have an area to enjoy my scone and coffee. As I was scarfing down my scone, Monica, my coworker and best friend, walked past my desk.  I stopped her and told her about my encounter this morning and how I thought I saw my ex-boyfriend. She knows everything about me and we tell each other everything. Our other coworkers were beginning to listen in on our conversation so we decided to have a girls night at our favorite bar after work so that we could continue our conversation. Throughout the day, I carried on with my work but a lot of memories that I thought I buried were beginning to resurface. 

About 2 years ago, I was at what I consider to be the lowest part of my life. I was in a relationship with a monster, but he was not always a monster. John was my boyfriend at the time and we had just started seriously dating. I thought that he was the most amazing gentleman and felt like he was the ONE. We had been seeing one another on and off for maybe a year and a half, but we were taking our relationship to the next level. At first, we were total love bugs and he would take me out to dinner often, bring me lunch while I was at work and even buy me nice gifts. We even moved in with each other so that we would not need to pay to live at 2 separate places. 

About 2 months later, it seemed like he evolved into a different person. He became very possessive wanting to know where I was at all times and constantly texting, calling and even tried to facetime me several times a day. One day, I was stuck in important meetings all day and left my phone off. When I was finished for the day, I walked to my car and found that I had a flat tire and a cracked windshield. I called him to see if he could come pick me up and he showed up within 2 minutes. At the time, I didn’t think too much of it but was happy that he arrived so fast. He offered to drive me to work everyday so that I would not need to buy another car. I thought that it was a sweet gesture and that maybe I would make it to work on time with this arrangement. 

One day, my boss asked our team to stay late so that we could prepare for a big presentation. I called John to let him know that I was going to be late and that Monica was going to drive me home. He did not sound happy about this change in plans and tried to see if I could find a way to get out of it, but I just could not get out of staying late at work because I had a big chunk of the presentation and wanted to make sure that we were prepared for the presentation. 

Since we planned to be in the office for a while we ordered take out and sent someone to the liquor store to grab some wine for us to enjoy and calm our nerves. After several hours of reviewing the powerpoint presentation and rehearsing our parts we were happy with the finished product and our boss thought that it was awesome, so we packed up and were ready to head home. We were so focused that we did not look at our phones or any clocks but just seen that it was dark outside.

Monica didn’t drive her car that day, so our coworker Jake offered to drive us home. Monica and I lived less than 10 minutes away from each other so he dropped her off at her house and drove me home. I finally checked my phone and aside from the 20 missed calls and tons of messages I saw that it was almost midnight. It was so dark outside and I didn’t live in the safest neighborhood. There wasn’t any room for him to pull into the driveway so he parked on the side of the road and walked with me to my front porch. I didn’t think anything of this and thought that it was very nice of him. 

I figured that John was asleep since it was so late, but as soon as I stepped onto the porch, he opened the door. I told Jake that I would see him in the morning and that he should have a good night’s rest so that we can be prepared for the big presentation. He went back to his car and drove away. 

As soon as he was out of sight, John grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into the house. He smelled pizza and beer on my breath and became furious. He appeared to be under the influence of something, but as long as I had known him I never knew he used any drugs.

In fact, I had never even seen him drink any alcohol. He slammed the door and slammed my back against the wall. Behind him I could see the table with bottles of beer and hard liquor as well as lines of what appeared to be cocaine along with a pipe in the living room. 

“Where have you been? Why do you smell like pizza and wine? Were you at work or were you at that bar again with Monica?” John asked in a furious tone. 

“I was at work and we were working on our big presentation. We ordered pizza and bought some wine from the liquor store because we had no idea how long we were going to be working. You are hurting me. Stop, please” I cried. 

“Who was that guy that drove you home. Is that your boyfriend? I thought Monica was supposed to drive you home?” he added. 

“He works with me and offered to drive Monica and I home. Monica didn’t take her car to work today and we didn’t want to walk home” I added. 

“Well, I have been waiting for you all night and I was so worried about you. It’s time to go to bed” he said as he continued to squeeze my arm and pulled me toward the bedroom. 

I resisted a bit and tried to break away from his grasp. I pleaded for him to let me go so that I could get ready for bed. He continued to pull me and then just picked me up and headed for the bedroom and threw me onto the bed. I continued to cry. Before I could get up from the bed, he grabbed my legs and pulled down my pants. I tried to resist and told him not to touch me, but he continued to take off my shoes and clothes. Then, he tried to quickly undo the button and zipper on his pants. He laid on top of me and proceeded to rape me. I tried to break away, but that just made him angrier and he started to thrust so hard that my cries became louder and louder. He looked into my eyes with such fury and he was no longer my boyfriend, but a monster. Then, all of a sudden I stopped and grabbed his chest and fell onto the floor. 

I laid on the bed crying for what felt like forever. When I got up to get off the bed so that I could head for the shower I saw him still lying on the floor. His breathing was shallow and he could not even speak. I called 9-1-1 so that he could receive medical attention. The ambulance transported him to the hospital. 

I was scared to visit him at the hospital, but he was put in an induced coma to help his body recover from his drug induced heart attack. I visited him for a few weeks, but he was not waking up from his coma. His family was talking about pulling the plug on him and ending life support. I did not want to be there when they did that so I stopped visiting assuming that they would do it soon. I locked away that part of my life by drowning myself in work. 

By taking on several big projects, I was able to distract myself from that horrible night and forget the relationship that I had with John. I thought that it was locked away for good, but after seeing that man in the car this morning all those memories came back into my consciousness. 

After work, we walked to our favorite bar which was less than 2 minutes from the office. We sat down at our usual table and ordered a couple of margaritas and appetizers. 

“So tell me again, who did you see this morning?” Monica said as she grabbed a chip and dipped it in the guacamole. 

“I am not sure, but it looked a lot like John and he was just smiling at me. It was very creepy. I had to convince myself that it was not him, but I just can’t stop thinking about it now.” 

“ I thought you said that his family pulled the plug on him. Didn’t he have an obituary or funeral?” said Monica.

“I remember they were talking about discontinuing life support and they were making plans for his funeral, but I just drowned myself in work and cut off all communication from them so I am not sure” I replied. 

As we tried to find other things to talk about to distract me, I saw someone staring at me from across the street of the bar. I stopped Monica mid-sentence to see if she saw who I saw. 

“It’s him. He is alive” exclaimed Monica. 

“That’s weird. Is he following me? I wonder what he wants?” I replied. 

A few minutes later, we looked again and he was no longer staring at us from across the street so we proceeded with our conversation. Then, he appeared in the bar and stopped at our table. 

“Hey babe. How are you doing? Why do you look so surprised?” He asked. 

I was totally speechless and could not find any words to express myself and Monica was just as speechless. 

However, I was finally able to mutter, “ I thought you were dead.” 

“Yeah I thought so too, but I guess I came back to life. My family decided not to let me die. I see that you are living a pretty happy life,still going to that coffee shop, working at that same office and you also come to this same bar. Are you still living at our apartment,too?” He replied. 

Monica interjected, “You need to leave her alone. She has moved on and does not want to be with you. Please leave or we will find someone to help you leave.” 

“You better watch out babe. We are lovers. We are meant to be together. I will make sure that we end up together whether you like it or not” He added in a creepy tone as he walked away.