FALLEN

Emily walked slowly and passed by the rows of headstone to find her loved one leaving a hole in her heart that hadn't heal by time space and emotions. As soon as she laid the flowers below the headstone she asked herself if she had love Inigo at all. Why? How long had she asked to herself how she met him. She was wondering if she had fallen for him or not at all because in her mind there must be words of endearment and the natural process of courtship but Emily didn't remember at all if there was such thing that happened or a decision was made by her to live with him. Beforehand Emily had suitors when she was taking her Nursing Course in the capital city but she didn't took it seriously thinking of the big sacrifices of her parents in sending her to take this course with the hope that she could help them later on in supporting the dreams of her younger sister and two brothers to finish their schooling.. One of her suitors was a doctor whose parents were not in favor of Emily because they want someone for their son from a family who have the same financial and social status as they are. The parents of Marco are also physicians in the hospital where Marco and Emily were taking their courses. Emily felt a little bit awkward why Marco gave her special attention when there are other doctors and nurses in the hospital eyeing on him and they even show their interest towards him by being close to him giving him special gestures in the form of small services like making him coffee or inviting him to lunch dates but Emily didn't really mind at all until both of them finished their medical courses. They both finished their courses with flying colors . When the results of the medicine and nursing licensure was released they were given honors by their school. Banners and announcements in the bulletin board were announced and this made Marco and Emily the choice of professional doctors to work with. To the delight of Marco and Emily they were assigned to work together in the operating room. Marco specialized in heart surgery 'Marco continued her pursuit to woo her to become Emily as his sweetheart but Emily with the pressure of supporting her family didn't mind the love of Marco he had offered her. Instead she gave more attention to the needs of her patients to assist Marco in their recovery period. Occasionally Marco asked Emily to go out for lunch dates and some out of town trip to relax and beat the monotony of work. They went camping to commune with nature to see and gaze the activity of the moon and stars in the night sky and walk on walking trails to experience the wonder of nature. Although they were close enough Marco and Emily were very careful not to mention about marriage. They wanted to enjoy to be together as friend and co-worker and stayed like that for about two years when Marco decided to pursue his studies abroad. Although she wanted to invite Emily to go with him the possibility of leaving her responsibility to her parents to support their family became a life time commitment. When Marco left to study abroad they parted with their friendship intact to continue their communication with calls and text messages. That was already enough for them and they continued working to Emily while Marco took his advanced studies seriously in Berkeley , California , USA. Emily had a new suitor when Marco left. His name was Inigo, their head nurse who pressured Emily to be more attentive to him rather than her work and Emily had to follow him for fear that it will infuriate him and there will be some conflict that it will create among the staff. To Emily's surprise Inigo invited her to lunch dates and then to special trips like what she did with Marco. Marco was too busy and their distance made them hard to communicate just by text and emails were not enough to nourish their friendship until their communication stopped. Inigo was overbearing to Emily. She didn't know that Inigo had become serious that he wanted them to be more than friends. More than friends to the point that without warning Inigo would kissed her without any word at all but to catch her and embrace her in a corner which was empty or a place where no one was there. That's when Emily tried to avoid him. At one time Inigo brought her home and they had some drinks together. Inigo may have planned to take this opportunity to be with Emily intimately that the unexpected happened. They slept together at Emily's bedroom and the next morning she cannot even confront Inigo why that thing happened to them. How come that Marco expressed his love to her while Inigo took her body without saying anything? Was that love or physical attraction only and there was no love at all? This situation created a hole in Emily's heart. Can she love this man who didn't tell her that she love her but took her in a whirlwind burst of feelings. She didn't feel happy at all. She doesn't know if Inigo was happy too. It was like a life together with no colors , they are just black and white. Emily as a partner, now living together having arranged to share their living expenses Emily didn't ask Inigo to marry her. They lived together without any commitment at all. Their co=workers were wondering why Emily and Inigo could live together like that Emily in her mind cannot accept that her body was taken away by Inigo but not her heart, her mind and her soul. Yes she gave up her body to him but not her whole being and that was a very big question to her why God allowed that she would take Inigo in her life. As a Christian Emily believe that it was God who chose the man she would live with and that didn't changed Emily's Christian belief even if she was not married to Inigo. Their families didn't question their living arrangement having known to be the practice of couples nowadays. Years went by and Emily was summoned one day by their family doctor at the hospital that Inigo was diagnosed with a rare disease that he needed an operation. He was given fifty percent to survive the operation of his intestines ,even if he will survive the operation the chance of recovery will take long and there maybe complications. After his operation Emily took her time to look after him at the hospital. Inigo didn't show any feeling of remorse to Emily but the only thing that he told her was that he was ready to face the consequences of all what he had done why he got his sickness. He was not too careful with his diet before with his drinking and smoking that affected his digestive track. That was fifteen years ago when the signs of peptic ulcers brought him to the hospital for treatment and for ten years he had suffered the pain. Emily and Inigo had fallen to each other with both holes in their hearts just took life and lived as it is. Here at his grave Emily didn't find tears in her eyes while thinking if their was true love between them or there was nothing at all. But why have they've been able to live together that long was a miracle. Only God can answer when that hole in Emily's heart will heal. Only time can tell. Emily prayed for Inigo for his eternal rest.