Philosopher and the brain chatter

The average person spends 4380 hours waiting. 

That is six months of 10 minute plus or minus cues added together. 

Right now it feels like I am waiting those 6 months. 

I feel patient, but I also feel very restless. 

Waiting doesn’t give you much option to do anything but think and well wait. I take a deep breath as my mind starts to race. Why does the mind always live in the past or the future but never the present? 

Maybe I should just talk to someone... I'm sure they’re just as restless if not more than I am right now. Or maybe they’re patient and just enjoying the break from rushing around all the time. 

4380 hours doesn’t seem like much over your life time, so why does it feel so long when you’re actually waiting? 

I release a quiet sigh and look up at the ceiling. It is plain white, no patterns just lights. I chuckle a bit to myself as I imagine wait lines that have stickers on the ceiling like children dentist do. 

What am I supposed to do with my arms?.. my entire body for that manor. What do normal people do when they wait? I glanced around the room at the thought. What is going through everyone’s Minds right now? 

I have plenty of time but I can guess some people don’t. I wonder if being frustrated with it makes it feel longer, is that why it feels so long for me? 

Do people that meditate just meditate when they wait? Do they just visualize the wait is over and then teleport through time so it actually is? 

I should be a philosopher with all these questions I ask myself.... would I even find the answers though? I mean everyone here is in a different mind-set cause we all have different lives, which means even though we are all waiting for the same thing.... we all wait differently? That is confusing but I guess it makes sense. 

-A brief moment od silence hits me as I ponder that thought.-

I look at the clock on the wall. One, two, three, four. Hmm.. even those simple four seconds are different to someone else. I wonder if anyone else is counting the seconds.... is that a good idea? 

.....

...

Jesus... its been so long. Now i am just getting impatient and want this all to be over. What do I even do to make waiting more entertaining if that’s even possible. 

You’d think in this era of drones doing deliveries that they’d be able to cut wait times down. This also billions of people in the planet I’m sure more people can get into work to make wait times less extreme. 

I know it isn’t extreme... and waiting doesn’t require that much attention. It must be my philosophers brain coming out again. I’m surprised i haven’t started thinking about the meaning of life. 

I guess i already know that there is no meaning, its just life. The meaning is you live your life and eventually you die. If you come back in another life that's cool. If you go to heaven... it’s sorta the same as coming back in another life. Cause i mean heaven you’re still living I would think. 

What do I believe will happen after death?....

I ponder that thought for a long period. My train of thought got interrupted with another strange thought, that actually is a good question. 

Why does restlessness, or well waiting... well.. why does doing nothing cause the mind to think so strangely? 

I mean I'm thinking about death at a time like this, Worrying what other people think and do. Questioning my career choice, thinking about how long people wait in their life time, and just all sorts of other s**t. When normally.. I think more presently ... I think..... why can’t i remember what I would normally think about? 

Humans never stop talking to themselves in their mind so why can’t I remember anything? I think... I can remember being hard on myself a lot.... thinking the worst was going to happen in any given situation... uh...oh!

Brain chatter is quite negative... guess that’s why I must’ve blocked out my previous thoughts. 

“I am a philosopher right now.” I say smugly finally breaking the intense silence of the room. 

As I look back up at the clean bare ceiling. I smile wildly as my thoughts finally slow to a stop. I feel all my restlessness slowly drain out of my body, as i return to being patient and calm. My whole body starts to sink into the bed. “Someone needs to decorate the ceilings, put artwork or stickers, or hell a TV monitor up there!” I announce proudly at my idea, I shakily raise my hand up and point to the ceiling. 

“Hell, for people like me... right now... I got so... i guess the word is bored. It made me tense and overthink.” I explain. “Like i know I probably should feel that way, tense and restless.” 

“I guess that’s what I’m supposed to feel...” I repeat, small glimpses of thoughts pondering that statement cross my mind, as I looked back at my train of thought on this waiting journey. Almost laughing at my own stress.

“Hey... how long has it really been?” i ask softly.

The doctor checked his watch. “You just hit the five minute mark now.” He answered.

I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself at my own insanity. After a long chuckle I calmed myself down again and said. “You know I read somewhere that the average human waits for 4380 hours in their lifetime... But two things I have noticed while waiting here. Is one... there is no average human we are all different just share the same body...” I laughed a bit again before continuing. “And two... waiting for something like this... it feels like I have waited my 4380 hours in those five minutes....” 

I take a shallow breath. “ I really don't know why i said that, or what relevance it has... i guess my thoughts are becoming my words.” I smirk a little, staring off at the ceiling like the world was staring back at me. 

I take a few more shallow breaths. Weakly I smile, eyes glazed over, staring at nothing but white light. “Famous last words....” I croak, slowly closing my eyes, beginnings to drift off. 

“Waiting sucks... HAH!.... no....”

“I.. am a Philosopher...”

There was a long flat beep to signal the wait was over.