Sheltering in when Spring is supposed to be in the air

My brain awoke slowly. My body was still asleep, but the sound of "Mother Fucker", began to ooze out of the side of my brain slithering onto my pillow like hot lava flowing down the side of the mattress until I heard it "Plop" on the bedroom floor. Knowing I was waking up "Son of a Bitch", flew out of my mouth, it hit the wall and smashed into a million floating tiny 'sons of bitches', scattering throughout the room. Spring was supposed to be here March 14, I promised myself I was going to be positive!

It was Sunday March 29, the 14 day of living in the pages of a Stephen King Novel called Pandemic, or maybe we all were transported back to old episodes of The Twilight Zone. Yes, it was here, not just in my room but in my house and it was spreading Globally throughout the world. WTF! The US death toll just hit 2,000.

How life could change in the blink of an eye, Hell the whole world will change if they ever can get a handle on this horrible Virus. I wonder if people will still consume and buy all the stuff they realize now they don't need when this is over. Hell most of America just go from one pair of PJ's to the next, walking aimlessly into one room at a time, over and over again, hungrily looking out the window for any signs of life. It makes me sad to think about how many older people are stuck home alone in their empty houses, wanting desperately to hug their families.

Thank God we can still go outside practicing our six-feet social distancing. I walk baby every day, The sky seems bluer now, the air crisper and cleaner. Most cars have been off the road. Was this Mother Earth saying "You clean up this planet, or I will"?

I was used to a somewhat maintained routine by now. As my feet touched the floor the ground was still a little shaky. Mother Earth had tilted slightly off her axis, probably trying to shake this nasty covid-19 virus off her fragile skin, scattered patches of eczema were consuming her body, one hot spot at a time.

I was fully awake now and made my way into the kitchen to start a pot of Dark French Roast Starbucks coffee. My black and white shi-poo puppy, Baby, trotting be hide me.

As I opened the freezer door to get out the whole coffee beans, I noticed the contents of the freezer was getting low. "Crap", time to make another shopping list for my daughter Megan or her husband, Mat. They had been a godsend for Fred and I who had been sheltered in place these last 14 days. They'd do our shopping and place the bags on our front porch, "God", I miss spending time with them and of course, Joan, my incredible granddaughter too.

Boy, Megan scored for us a few days ago, TOILET PAPER! Who in America ever thought the US would be consumed with hoarding toilet paper to wipe their asses with; but sadly it had come to that.

I took the beans out of the freezer and began to grind them, the coffee was brewing so I made my way out the back garage door to retrieve Fred's morning doomsday paper, it was laying on the driveway. How many deaths would there be tomorrow or next month?  

Taking my coffee and Baby in tow I sat on the patio and thought about my day waiting for my husband Fred to awake. I knew I would make my morning phone calls to Mom, my sister Karen, Alice and my friend Kathy who is recovering from breast cancer.

I thought about cleaning the house again, but "Why"? I could make another pot of chili, spaghetti sauce, beef lentil soup or chili Verde for burritos, but "Why"? Now there was always time to do it tomorrow! We had enough stored safely in the garage freezer. I heard some in are family are manic baking. Me, I just stay in the kitchen and cook. I usually have dinner pre-prepared by 10 AM. I keep my head phones on listening for signs that any state in the US has hit the downward curve. The news is bleak for the United States, but Italy has people recovering in large number...there is hope!

I've been trying. Trying to cope...cooking, cleaning, walking my dog, turning off the news, turning it back on five minutes later. It's bleak, this Virus is not going away anytime soon. I listen to the daily briefings, hoping for truth and facts. Thank you Governor Como and the scientist. We all need truth and facts now. People are scared, people are all trying to cope.

I awake out of a restless sleep after turning off the TV at 11:30. The clock over my TV says it's 4:00 Am. Maybe I can meditate in my own thoughts, BY MYSELF , on patio, ALONE and just reflect.

I roll over, I toss and turn. Finally I say "Fuck it", get up. As I and my feet hit the floor my husband Fred says, "Where are you going"? With my feet firmly planted on the beige carpeting, I think to myself, "please go back to sleep", but NO, Fred say's I Can't sleep either".

People are dealing with other life issues other than Covid-19. Fred and I are dealing with his Mother's estate. Mostly Fred, because he is the lawyer in this family. Hell, I never finished high school, but I have tremendous street smarts.

We sit on the patio, I listen AGAIN on how he is going TO FUCK HIM UP! That's his Uncle who has full control over my husband's family estate. His Mom died in October after Fred and I moved her close to the coast, she died here with Fred at his side. The estate issue is complex. His mother had Alzheimer's..Blah, Blah...Didn't make good decisions and wasn't capable of making decisions. That's a whole other book.

His Uncle is not giving Fred or his brother access to bank accounts. The trust is complicated..It's in probate. Banks accounts are frozen, there is a Lake House, in upstate New York that's needs to be sold. No one in the family can pay the 30,000 yearly taxes in New York. His Uncle is in charge of that portion of the estate refuses to discuss the sale of the house. Only his family uses it after Fred's beloved sister died in a car wreck last year. They have been at stand still for months.

Fred has found his Uncle has been using his mother's accounts for 3 years, paying off his personal dept.

Back to the patio, Fred vents, "I'm going to fuck him up the ass,!" I close my eyes, "Oh, God, are we going there again?"It's 4:40 now, Fred say's, "I'm going to get a drink", I say, "Not me", I want to go back to sleep.

 Fred get's his drink, he keeps talking about his options that I have heard OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR MONTHS. Facts are amazing, throughout this time, I gave him MY viable options from at street smart perspective I walk into the kitchen, Pour myself a vodka and orange juice "It's Healthy, Right?'

He's still talking, he's still talking...but now he's in laying out a plan I have been trying to thrust down his throat for months as his!

I pour my vitamin C again, lased with vodka. He's Drunk.. so much for calling the bank at 6 am New York, time to get information later, Fred not a drinker, I have to help into bed! It's 6 AM, 'I'm awake, I'm Not drunk yet but I am angry, I've NEVER had a drink at 5 AM, but tomorrow is another day!

 I wonder how other family members are doing?

By Jennifer Braveheart