Middle School Superhero

Dakota was pretty happy being 11 years old. Her life wasn’t too exciting like some of the kids she saw walking around school with lots of friends, big laughs and important things to whisper about, but she had what she needed. Her mom and dad ran an organic vegetable farm and the whole family spent a lot of time outdoors. Her favorite after-school activity was painting little rocks with her brothers and hiding them around the farm for people to find. At school she was a gray man. She heard that term once when she was awake in bed listening to a show her parents were watching. She drifted through her days attracting no notice from teachers or peers. Her two best friends gave her all the attention she needed. 

Dakota used to wonder what it would be like to laugh with the cool kids in the halls, drawing attention from everyone near-by. But one time in the bathroom, she was in the corner stall that weirdly receded into a little alcove, so no one used it and no one could see your feet if you were in there. From her hidden spot she overheard three of the cool girls talking about their friends. 

“Oh my gosh did you see the look Jill just gave me? What the heck is her problem?”

“Listen Chloe… you can’t tell her I told you… you promise?”

“Of course I promise, you know you can trust me.”

“Jill said you were totally copying her by having a crush on Jason and she doesn’t want to talk to you any more.”

“What?! I don’t have a crush on Jason! She told you that?”

“Jenna told me Jill told her. But Jenna never says anything like that so it must be true.”

“Ugh, Jill has been getting so annoying lately! I can’t stand it.”

“Let’s get out of here, Mr. Bilson will be pissed if I take longer than 5 minutes in the bathroom.”

After she heard that little exchange, Dakota realized she was better off with 2 friends she could actually trust. She also felt really bad for everyone. How horrible must it be to think someone is saying mean things about you? And how horrible must it be to say mean things about your friends? Ultimately, she shook her head and was content to observe these shenanigans from a distance. She thought her policy of isolationism was going to be her ticket through middle and high school, until October 14 of 7th grade, the day she turned 12. 

She woke up the morning of her birthday with a strange dream lingering in her thoughts. In her dream she had been an enormous human standing over her school with strings tied to her hands controlling everyone’s movements. Like a giant adolescent puppet-master. She felt the power in her whole being. She could control anyone. All she did was whisper, “I heard….” and whatever followed would flow down the puppet strings and come to pass in the lives of her unsuspecting peers. Her entire day was clouded with the aura of that dream. She just couldn’t shake it off. 

Before bed the night of her birthday, after a wonderful outdoor celebration with her family full of autumn leaves, sweaters, warm fire and stars, Dakota was messaging in a group chat with her two best friends. The latest rumor in 7th grade was that Claire had a ‘special relationship’ with the gym teacher. Apparently, Chloe and Jill saw Mr. Jenson smile at her a bunch of times and started imagining all the possible reasons why. 

Dakota read the details pinging back and forth between her two friends and felt angry and disappointed. This was dangerous! Accusations like this could ruin a teacher's career. Mr. Jenson was a great teacher. He made sure everyone was included in games and helped kids when they got mad about losing. The sense of power still lingering from her dream bubbled up and compelled her fingers to respond. I heard it was nothing but good teaching. Claire needed a smile for some reason and Mr. J is a good teacher. And Chloe and Jill learn to mind their own business.

The next day passed without incident. Dakota had slept soundly, free of dreams. She moved through her day like the gray man, unnoticed. Only in the evening during her nightly group chat with her friends, did she hear the change in rumor. Yea, Mr. J is such a good teacher. Claire just needed a little help I guess. Chloe and Jill just imagined things. 

Dakota went to bed that evening with a strange sense of causation humming through her cells. Over the next few weeks she tested her suspicions. Every time, it happened the same way. Once she expressed the phrase, “I heard…” then her words became true. 

Such power for a 12-year-old seemed extreme. She spent much of November contemplating what this meant and how best to use it. Walking the natural spaces of her home, Dakota had always noticed the attentive guidance her parents used to coax their plants into delicious beauty. It was never forceful. A trim here. Some fertilizer there. A supportive marigold or firm resting post to lift a burdened plant. Their inputs were attuned to the needs of their plants. They nurtured the natural way of things. These methods filled her soul. She could be a farmer. A farmer of 7th graders. 

She used her power sparingly, only when she observed deep hurt in her peers that needed to be soothed. First, there was Chance. He was a notorious bully. He was popular and well-liked by his friends and adults because he was charming and charismatic, but he was sneaky and malicious with other kids. He called people nasty names in the stairwells and dark corners of the school, picking on kids’ most vulnerable features. “Hey snaggletooth!” “Move orphan.” “Do you ever wash your face puss head?” 

Dakota observed it all from her invisible hiding places. She also observed more than most. Chance was always late to school and she had seen him get dropped off by his mom a couple times. The first time she looked radiant in her summer dress, flowing hair and designer sunglasses. Another time she seemed to have receded into herself, hiding beneath a giant sweatshirt, using her sunglasses as a shield to protect her against intrusive eyes. Chance always responded the same, never meeting her gaze, listlessly flapping his hand at her as he walked away. Dakota noted his private pain. She added to his story. He was so much more than a charismatic student and a secret bully. She chose to use her power for Chance. 

I heard that Chance apologized for all those mean names and now he doesn’t do it anymore. I heard his friends helped him see how it made other people feel and he decided to stop. 

Miraculously, Chance suddenly developed a sense of self-awareness and empathy that transformed his relationships with his classmates. Dakota also overheard her parents talking about how Chance’s mom had started a little florist business in town and she and Chance were living in the upstairs apartment. Her mom had said, “What a blessing, Jillian had been hiding bruises for years.”

Later in the year, Dakota heard that Chloe and Jill were digging deep gossip holes about each other. The entire group of ‘popular’ kids were in constant turmoil, worried about who was saying what and which one was more important. It got so bad at one point that the principal had a mediation with their parents because group projects were being sabotaged. Dakota decided to end it. 

I heard that Chloe and Jill ended up having a real honest conversation. They both realized they missed each other as friends and agreed to be better at talking to each other, rather than about each other. 

 The results transformed the grade. Dakota was relieved that her science fair team could focus on coding a light-circuit that changes brightness depending on how loud you clapped. It won second place behind the robotics team that built a dish-drying robot for the cafeteria. 

The weight of this powerful influence was taking its toll on Dakota. She was so careful about what she said to anybody, she actually became even more invisible as the months passed. Summer came as a relief. She retreated into satisfying farm chores, watering, weeding, trimming, harvesting, and packaging. She definitely avoided selling at the farmers market though. The market was a gossip hot-bed and she’d rather not know. 

At the start of 8th grade, Dakota was getting tired of her isolation. She was ready to rejoin her peers and connect with people, but her fear of her power was too big. It was late September when one of her fellow invisible classmates started to be a little more visible. Maddox had always been shy. He came from a family of 7 but she wasn’t sure where he fell in the sibling line-up. She knew there were kids above and kids below him in school. In September though, she started to notice him more. He wore the same sweatshirt to school everyday, his hair stopped being combed, and she could definitely smell him when she sat behind him in French. He used to sit at lunch with two other boys, but now he wasn’t in the lunchroom at all. She wasn’t sure where he ate his lunch. By mid-October, she realized she wasn’t the only one noticing him. 

“He needs to shower. What’s his problem? I can’t even think about math! I hate that I’m next to him now.”

“He told me his mom takes oxytocin after some big surgery he had. It was so weird, he told me how many pills there were.”

“I just want him to stop picking at his fingers. He had to go to the nurse because he was bleeding the other day!”

Dakota soaked it all in. Her heart stretched towards Maddox. She didn’t know what to say to him, but she knew what she could say about him.

I heard Maddox went and talked to the school counselor and she helped him realize he doesn’t need to feel alone and sad anymore.

The very next weekend, Dakota’s mom came home and wrapped her in a great big hug. 

“I love you so much. Promise me you’ll talk to me about anything that’s going on with you?” Her mom lifted her chin and gazed at her, her whole heart filling her eyes. “At the farmer’s market today everyone was whispering about how close someone’s kid was to ending it all for himself. Thank goodness he had the courage to find someone to talk to.” She looked at Dakota again, “Promise we talk about things?”

Dakota nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. She wrapped her arms around her moms oversized knit sweater and returned her bear hug. 

On Dakota’s 13th birthday, she had another dream. She felt herself shrinking, but it was a good feeling. She was simultaneously getting smaller and filling up. Two competing sensations occupying the same space. She woke to a feeling of anticipation. She also fully believed that the power she had possessed for the last year had been lifted from her shoulders. She never tested it. She never wanted to. She was happy not gossiping at all.