Cleaning up Our Mistakes.

How in the world can i write about having the only family member i have left betraying me? They were not the one who Fraudulently Filed My Taxes, three times in a row. Once when I met my father, who left me and my brother. Why, who cares? We did not get a good start in life. At first I heard over and over again we are all we have. While I was given an ultra wedgie on the fence post by my older sibling? I wish it was simple as sibling rivalry that was at play but it was not. Bullying comes in many forms. Well let me get back to what i was saying, the second time it happened. i was going back to live with my father, for i could not live with my mother and step father anymore. When I lost my inner child, my spirit began to fade as well. The third time it happened I was in jail. At first when the case began I was mad and wanted to find a way to get my kids back. I was not willing to admit that the line my mother always used when I was at work was not going to fly. Nobody cared how many physical altercations I had with my wife or that I went to drill with black eyes, cuts on my face, or that I was beginning to see things and forget things because I did not want to take it from my wife.

Obviously it is spousal abuse only when the man hits the woman but not when the man is the one who gets hit. When a man gets hit he deserved it, and when a woman gets hit she either got caught or he is drunk. Well neither should hit the other. The violence needs to stop. That is what I have learned from the only family member who has not stolen from me like the three times someone dd and I know about, I was in jail for what I did and did not do. I belonged there, they did not help me. I messaged my mother, I messaged my father, and messaged my superior officer, the man who recruited me that I was in jail. What i am trying to say is my whole life is made up of betrayal upon pain and misery. I can no longer stay silent when I read what you wanted to hear. i had to say something, i betrayed my children as my parents betrayed me for it was all i have ever known. How in the world are you supposed to do better than your parents when you have no hero, when you have no moral leader, when you have no safe place but the world you create? Which by the way i have written into a book of its own.

When i was five years old my mother introduced me to an uncle who became my dad. i like most kids decided he was safe cause my mom said he was family. I asked him " What's that?" I pointed to the thing on his wrist. He responded " it's a watch." He smiled at me and I felt safe. Well this is my earliest memory, i guess our minds are full of other memories. We just focus on the traumatic scenes. i always wanted to be a storyteller when i grew up but was afraid to say anything. Who was I supposed to tell the people that smelt like beer or the people that had information from my mother? I did not trust anybody even when I thought that I did. To this day I still do not know what that means. However, I am learning as I stay away from my family. i try so hard to do better than everyone i lived with before my siblings seem to have it good but do they? I mean you can have a great paying job and a high position. you still have scars they have not gone away. I grew up being called sissy boy and being considered schizoaffective disorder because my mother said my father was schizophrenic. There are ways to find out whether or not you are genetically different then anyone else and have it stored in a computer system. 

Do you know how that scar can be removed? Well do you? I guess not you still have not figured out my other stories. You think that I write for money, that is why I was abused by the stress of not having enough money to take care of their developmentally delayed child or the learning disability needs that he had. Enuresis was the diagnosis i was looking for, for 20 years and by the time that happened my mind already shifted to bringing the vengeance of God into the mix. But that was ruined when my step dad told me " I am God!" while poking me in the chest. I did not find it amusing or useful in my learning. Thank you very much. As a child the only thing that did not betray me was Star Trek. I am their number one fan. It's why I believe in Terra farming and want to be alive when it happens. In fact I also want to see if Evolution is real.

I will get to the point since I will lose this contest anyways. I discovered who I have and where I belong because of my aunt. So I will volunteer to alter my mind in order to change how I live my life. I will change my diet in order to give the nutrients my body needs to evolve, I will change what I wear in order to build my strength and adjust to new gravitational pulls on other planets. To learn new replacement memories so I will never wake up with the constant nightmares that I have and to pay the only person in my life that holds my blood in her veins and still is spiritually connected. By giving her, her dream of owning a cafe and lounge called the Cup O' Swirl. A place where you can go to destress without getting drunk. 

I was in boy scouts and they taught me that money is the only way to learn. Camping trips cost money so no survival skills, no how to be a good part of society skills, no communication skills, and no harmless protection skills because there is no self discipline. This should have been taught to me when i was a child. However those who said i was the future, but ran this country like it was still their decision. Well they did not want to keep their promises so now it is up to us who still remember that promise to keep it for the next generation.