the misery of love

"Please stay" Irfan couldn’t stop crying and begging for Cherryl to not leave him.

She knew all along this day would come, eventually, the day where she was gonna leave the town for good to move to LA and alas leave his boyfriend behind. She wished she would have any other choices, but unfortunately, this was her fate. 

Irfan and Cherryl had been in a relationship for 5 years now, as luck would have it, they never stop talking to each other through face time especially during night time, and that was something she would cherish in her lifetime. 

Day by day has passed quicker than before.

It was a very cold night in LA.

Cherryl went home sooner from work than usual, she took off her coat, scarf, and gloves and put it right back to where it belongs, on the racks. Then, she changed into comfy pajamas with hair in a messy bun, until one moment hit her, she was wondering what was her boyfriend doing at that time, so she decided to face time him. 

But…

Irfan didn't answer it until 5 times miscalled.

“Where the fuck is my boyfriend, huh!”, she mumbled.

Another 5 miscalled until she gave up. 

“Alright, I will call him later,” she said as she walked to her bathroom.

She put a mask on while listening to Ariana Grande and made a hot cup of lemon tea without sugar, of course. She was clearly distracting herself at that moment for a while from her busy boyfriend to focus on herself more. As a result, she fell asleep on a couch with a book in her hand, in the living room without her realizing it was already 4 am. 

“Oh crap, who fall asleep?”, she said shockingly. 

She checked her phone and saw 3 texts and 2 missed calls from Irfan. She called him immediately. 

*ringing*

“Hey, babe! Sorry, I fell asleep earlier, I was so tired. Where have you been? I have been texting and face timing you.”, Cherryl worried. 

She didn’t get any response.

“Hello? Are you there? I can hear your breathing hahaha.”, Cherryl added.

“Hey, Cheryl. There is something I really need to talk about.”

“Um okay, you are acting a Lil bit strange, what is it about? Tell me.”

“First of all, I’m sorry.”

“What for? You’ve done nothing but makes me happy every day.”

“I’m sorry but we have to break up.”

Cherryl was quite for a couple of minutes because she didn’t expect what she just heard. 

“Cherryl? Are you there?”, Irfan asked. 

“Yes, I’m here. Irfan, what the actual fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? Please tell me you are joking!” Cherryl raised her voice. 

“No, uh, I’m serious. I don’t think we can go any further. I mean I’d still love you but—“

Cherryl stopped Irfan in the middle of the conversation.

“But? But what? Oh please tell me there isn’t somebody else.”

“Yes, I gotta admit it. I’m in love with somebody else.”

“So that’s it? You wanna give up our wonderful adventures of 5 freakin years relationship to be with a random chick you just met probably a few minutes ago? Are you out of your goddamn mind?” 

“No, I- I’ve been with her since— since— 

Cherryl couldn’t handle herself, as it can tell she was trying so hard to fight back the tears.

“Since last month. Listen Cherryl, I’m truly sorry. I’ve been wanting to tell you but this long-distance relationship thing doesn’t work for me. I’m exhausted. I miss you like hell every day but you know there’s nothing I could do. I wish I’d do something about it, but I couldn’t seem to figure it out unless I find a distraction to make me feel okay again. I wanna be with you forever, I swear, but this whole situation is a mess. I’m sorry again for everything, I really do hope you would find someone as perfect as you in the future. I believe that. You are such an awesome girl, I just knew it.”

“Cherryl? Are you listening?”

She ended the 02:10 calls. 

Cherryl was still in aftershock. She couldn’t believe everything, as she needed time to process what was going on. She felt the ugliest heartbreak shit ever. She never thought someone that’s been with her for 5 years who’d ever broke up with her over a random girl in a freakin phone. She decided to turn off her phone and cried herself to sleep. It has been an awful period of her life.

One year later, the same cold night when she broke up with her ex.

Cherryl was in a random club in LA, chatting, drinking, dancing with some random dudes, she was losing herself that night, despite all the heartbreaks she has been dealing with, she was herself again. That night was truly unbelievably incredible for her because she has never felt this joy for a quiet long time. 

The night was still young, Cherryl was still holding her drink while talking to this random dude from New York. They had been chatting non-stop since she got there, as you can tell, she was ready to open up her heart again. All of a sudden, she saw Irfan walked into the bar alone by himself. She wasn’t sure of what she just witnessed. She was having a mental breakdown. 

“Are you okay? It feels like you’ve just seen a ghost. Hahaha”, The New York guy asked. 

“Yes, I’m alright. Can we move to another table over there? I wanna see the strip girls clearly” as Cherryl convinced him.

“Hahaha as you wish m’lady.”

And then they moved to another table, but Cherryl couldn’t stop herself from staring at Irfan as she was still freak out inside.

“Why the fuck is he here? And does he really alone?” She mumbled inside her heart.

“Hey m’ lady, I will grab us another drink, be right back.”

She smirked.

Still with her confused face and curious thoughts why in the world he was here. She tried to get herself together.

“I have to be wiser. I have to face this motherfucker. Hell yeah, I can do it. I wanna prove to him that I’m doing so much better without him and I wanna make him regret what he has been missing. Besides, he’s alone, so there’s nothing to worry about” as her heartbeat beats so loud. 

Cherryl got off her table and moved closer to Irfan. As she walks by, she knew that Irfan wasn’t completely alone. His new girlfriend had to make an appearance.

“What in the world!!! I should’ve known that he’s not alone. Ugh” Cherryl sighed.

When she was about to turn around. Irfan called him.

“Cherryl? Is that you?”

“Ohh hi! I was not expecting to see you here in a random club in LA. What a lovely surprise!” as she put the fakest smile ever. 

“Hey, Cherryl this is my girlfriend, Niki. Niki, this is my…. friend, Cherryl”

“Hey, nice to meet you Cherryl,” said Niki. 

“Yeah me too,” Cherryl replied.

 “Oh, you got to be kidding me.” She said inside her heart. 

They were silent for a couple of minutes and it was pretty awkward.

“So are you here for a job or just seeing around-?” Cherryl broke the dead silence.

“Oh yeah we’re actually here for vacation because you know, I’ve never had a chance to visit LA before so I thought it’d be fun to come here and visit some places,” said Irfan.

“Ah, lovely! How long are you guys are gonna stay here?” Cherryl asked.

“Only a couple of nights, prolly 5 nights,” Niki answered.

“oh for goodness sake I was talking to Irfan, not you,” Cherryl mumbled.

“Sounds like great plans. Well, enjoy your time over here, if you guys need anything or some suggestions, you can always count on me. It’d be my pleasure to be your LA tour guide hahaha.” As she fakes her laugh. 

“Trust me when I said that I wasn’t meant any of the words,” she said in her heart.

Irfan smiled and said, “That’s a very kind of you Cherryl, thank you so much, I’ll definitely let you know.” 

“Alright then, I’ll catch you guys another time, perhaps. See ya.” 

Cherryl left them alone and went back to her table. It was a very intense night, she sighed. 

That New York guy asked Cherryl for a ride and then they went home together. 

A few days after, she caught up with one of her best friends, Zhafa.

“You don’t share your life with someone and not give every piece of your heart.”, said Cherryl.

“It’s just not easy to erase the memories or the idea of the person that once means the whole world to you and literally spent the most marvelous 5 years of your life to just fucked it up”, she added as she pours another glass of wine to Zhafa. 

“Hey, we should have fun tonight, just forget everything, let’s watch a movie, two of us, tonight, how about that?” Zhafa asked.

“That’s very much needed I guess, but I just wanna stay inside tonight, maybe next time, thanks though.” Cherryl refused as she took a sip of the wine. 

From that day, she convinced herself that she was never able to move on, no matter how hard she has tried, it always failed, there wasn’t a bright light.

Whenever she goes, she sees his face, the face of the love of his life once. Irfan may be gone, but his reminisces will always be in Cherryl’s heart forever.