Dreading the Sun

I can’t remember how long it’s been. I could feel as he carefully patched pieces of me together until I was big enough to roll. He was wearing his green scarf, black gloves, and blue striped boots overtop his grey snow-pants and blue camouflage jacket. Flakes of me were falling hard, making it hard to see everything he was doing but he was working hard to create his vision of me. I started out as a big ball, then after a little while longer I had a smaller ball atop that one, & eventually there was three balls atop each other each one smaller than the one before. I couldn’t see or touch anything yet, but I could feel. I felt the care that was put into the formation of each section, with him making sure I had equal padding on all around and each section was a perfect sphere.

Suddenly I had eyes, and I could see life all around me. The light was almost too much for me to bear at first but after a few minutes the sun spots stopped blocking my vision and I could see all that was going on around me. I watched as he meticulously searched for the right branches to use as my arms, and once again I could feel. The cold felt good on my fingertips; it felt right. I can’t recall how long I’ve been gone but I’ve missed this feeling of frost coating my arms and the sight of my DNA drifting down from the sky. I realize that I’ve started to zone out because when I refocus on my surroundings, the boy is gone & I feel alone. Only a few moments pass, but it felt like ages & finally the boy emerges from his house running towards me with a carrot and he attaches it to my face, giving me a nose. I can smell the crisp cool air and inhale a few flecks of snow as I take a whiff.

“And for my last touch I need to give you a smile,” the boy exclaims as he stands before me with his hands on his hips and a satisfied look on his young face. He scurries off in search of whatever it is mouths are made of & my thoughts drift to when I last felt life in me. It was a day not like this one, with the snow falling in drifts & all was quiet save for the sound of children’s laughter & the occasional “beep, beep, beep” of snow removal vehicles backing up while clearing driveways. It was a chilly day, but that’s just how I like it because on those days I don’t have to worry about making it to tomorrow.

The boy comes running up to me from behind the house and carefully secures five rocks along my face to form a smile. “Perfect!” he sighs with his hands placed proudly on his hips. He stands back and admires his work, and I look back at him cheerfully.

“Hunter it’s time to come inside,” a voice calls from the window.

“Ohp, that’s my mom,” Hunter explains, “I gotta go now. I’ll come back to play again tomorrow. Now, don’t you run off anywhere.” He laughs at his joke as he runs through the snow and disappears inside the house. I wish I could, I think in response but I know that’s something that will remain a dream. So many places I’d go just to see if only I could move from this spot, but I suppose I’m content being admired by everyone that passes by.

It seems darker out now that the boy has gone inside, & all this coming to life has left me exhausted. There’s nothing more for me to do but go to sleep until the boy comes back to play tomorrow, just like he promised.

Morning comes in no time, & I awaken to the sound of car doors slamming closed as everyone in the neighborhood get their kids out the door and off to school. I watch patiently for Hunter to come out to play, but the day goes by and the sun moves across the sky and Hunter never shows. Finally, a bus drives down the road and I see Hunter get off with a few friends and I watch as he walks home while goofing off with his friends. I wait for him to introduce me to his friends, but he doesn’t even look at me when he gets to his house and just waves goodbye to his friends and walks directly inside the house. Three days go by, and he never comes out to play with me. The first night went quickly but each subsequent night went by slower than the last & I wonder what I did wrong.

Saturday comes & it’s a warm day. I can feel the heat of the sun beating down on me and the panic starts to set in. My breathing quickens & my eyes widen as I realize what’s about to happen. It’s a memory I chose to forget and one I’m dreading to relive but the sun is making it hard to ignore. It’s coming back to me now, the last time I was made. I got to enjoy a few days, weeks even, breathing in the cold air and taking in the life going on around me until that darn sun came out in, feeling warmer than ever before. I started to sweat from the memory, or was it from the sun, of how I slowly drooped and caved in on myself as the days wore on.

This was the beginning of the end, & I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I begged, I pleaded, I screamed, but no one could hear me. I was nothing but a silent snowman made the silently fallen snow, cursed to observe, listen, and feel but never speak & be heard. I grew more deformed each day. Some days the sun wasn’t so warm and I could feel the crisp air solidify my skin but I was already damaged, & Hunter had moved on. After a week of becoming a dilapidated heap, only one of my eyes was left and one of my arms was still sticking out of my side, & out of the corner of my eye I watched in horror as Hunter starts rolling a ball of snow.