The Disaster at Dinner

As usual, Arlene has the worst timing ever. Why else would she pull this at a family dinner?

"Excuse me?" 

I'm not sure which aunt says it . Probably Olivia. She's always been the best at saying what everyone else is thinking. Must come with the territory, I guess.

"I will not be continuing the family business," Arlene repeats, conversational. Not at all like someone who's practically committed blasphemy.

"Damien," our mother calls, not looking up from the carrot cake she's carefully cutting up. "I thought you said here wouldn't be any alcohol."

Father is not amused at the thinly veiled accusation. "There isn't." 

The glass in his hands is cracking bit by bit. Definitely a bad sign if ever I saw one.

Not like everyone wouldn't have known by now if there was any. The Nosaro family and alcohol don't mix very well.

"Then why, pray tell, is your daughter saying such nonsense?" 

"Funny how she's my daughter when she starts to act like you," Father spits, acid coating his words.

It's almost funny how everyone at the table winces in sync. Almost. 

Whoever thought the recently divorced couple should sit across from each other must've been high on urine.

"Said daughter does not appreciate being treated like she's not here," Arlene thumps a fist on the smooth mahogany, drawing attention back to her at the head of the very long table.

"Do sit down, dearie. All this noise will give me a headache," says mother.

"You'll be surprised to note that the world doesn't revolve around you, Jolene," my sister hisses back.

Uncle Richard does a spit take, and grandma Louise's low, "oh shit" is heard loud and clear.

Father, however, looks quite pleased. In a vindictive eight year old kind of way.

Seeing that everyone is still shocked into silence, Arlene rises to her full height. "I will not be continuing the family business. And I don't mean that pitiful bakers cover story. Honestly, uncle Richard, you couldn't have come up with something else?"

The man opens his mouth, then closes it as Arlene shoots him a quelling glare.

"As I was saying, I refuse to continue to hunt vampires. My reason?" She smiles now, and her fangs are on full display. "I'm one of them now."

That does it. Mother faints, right on her plate, and I just barely resist the urge to snap a picture. Grandma Louise blanches, and we can see her soul literally leave her body. 

"Third time this week, " I mutter, already cross.

Thankfully, cousin Eric is quick on his feet, sliding under the table and materialising a spirit jar out of thin air to catch it.

That's when it sinks in, I think, and soon all the rest of our many, many uncles and aunts and cousins are yelling and protesting and clamouring for attention.

I groan, pushing my food away and dropping my head onto the table with a thunk. Of course my witch of a sister couldn't even wait for me to turn two hundred before she pulled a stunt like this. Of freaking course.

Now the next Nosaro head will have to be me because that's how it goes. The first daughter or the second son. But Arlene's the one they've been grooming for this since she could walk. I'm too gay to lead a family of vampire hunters. 

Shit, black sheep? I'm a whole flock of black sheep in one. Ridiculously happy almost all the dang time, unlike the rest of the family. I can't pull off Arlene's poker face, or grandfather Maynard's-

"Silence!"

Everyone seems to pale at grandfather Maynard's voice. Even Arlene, with all her bluster. Clearly she hadn't expected grandfather to give a shit. 

I can't imagine why, considering they literally sit on opposite ends of the table, as head and successor.

"You all realize that I am much too old for this bullshit, yes?" Nobody answers, which is fine because he doesn't need one. "And you," he points at Arlene with his chopsticks, "You've clearly taken a vampire as a partner. What on earth made you think that was a good idea?"

She swallows. "They're- They treat me right."

Which, okay. She's justified there. Finding a partner that doesn't just want the money and the infamy that comes with the Nosaro name is nigh impossible.

Of course, I'd love to know how a whole ass vampire thought getting down with a vampire hunters a wise choice. I'll find out sooner or later though. As always.

Grandfather sighs. "Either way, they can't be much worse than your father's choice," he says this motioning to my still unconscious mother. 

Father is suddenly very focused on his pie.

And that's when grandfather Maynard turns to me. "I hate to do this to you, my boy, but I'm quite enjoying my retirement."

Right. Because his retirement is a lot more important than my overall freedom. I don't even know why he's retired, he doesn’t look a day over forty. You couldn't even tell he was centuries old until you heard him speak.

I let out an explosive sigh, glowering at Arlene all the while. "Yeah, no. I'm going to need a smoke or seven first," is all I can say, getting out of my seat. If I stay any longer, someone might end up dead and it won't be me.

I wasn't made to be the leader. I was made to be the leader's shadow. Clean up after fights, hide evidence if need be, soothe bruised egos when necessary. Not fucking lead.

I don't even know why I'm surprised. She's been pulling shit like this since we were kids, always creating some disaster or the other and leaving me to handle it. Our brother - Rowan - never had any patience for her schemes but me? I've always been more than a little stupid.

"Damnit, Arls. When I said I wanted more work, this was not what I meant."

Not like any of that matters now. The deed has already been done. Time for damage control, I guess.