Parrots Pluck Their Feathers

This story deals with themes of self-harm, trauma, minor allusions to violence, and child abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

Veronica for the past few weeks felt a newfound sense of tangible dread. The type of fear that creeps in once you turn your head forward bound and what is behind you isn’t in view. And in all fairness who would blame her. She’s an attractive woman in a big and dangerous city. The amount of women and young girls whose faces lace the nighttime news with captions of “gone missing" is in the hundreds this year alone. 

But this was different. No, Veronica was being stalked by a familiar stranger. She knew it. No one could dissuade her otherwise. 

Even now as she walks from her job to the station, she can’t help but feel a gaze tugging the back of her blonde hair. Veronica turns with a swiftness to reveal to the confines of her mind who this predator was. But to no avail, each and every time she saw the face of a bewildered man intimidated by her gaze. Or a young girl, eyes buried in her phone unaware of who was in front of her. Every time she felt embarrassed and yet still more driven to prove she wasn’t paranoid. 

She spent time on her commute home, thinking of when this fear and looming dread began to manifest. It dawned on her, that Veronica was on a train like this. Swaying in this manner, sitting in a pair of seats directly across from one another, in this same assortment. Only that time she wasn’t alone. 

A young man sat across from her on that day. His eyes slightly misaligned, something she noticed when he looked up from his phone when she approached. This young man couldn’t have been over twenty-five but he was at least nineteen. His gaze stiffened on her, and his head began to uplift as he stared more and more intensely. Veronica began to feel afraid, she tried to not have their eyes meet. Until she could no longer take it. Vacating the seat, she opted to stand closer to the door. 

It dawned on her. That was the very moment the world of boundless opportunity turned into a savannah of predators and prey. It was that moment Veronica realized her mortality. All her achievements, accolades, and family she was building with her husband could be taken away in an instant. She could easily go from reading about statistics to becoming one. 

It helped to put a face on her fears, but a new question spawned in the teacher’s mind. What if I see him again?

Would the want-to-be perpetrator’s eyes give away his intentions toward her? Veronica thought to herself aloud. 

“I could anonymously report what happened.” Her thoughts were jockeyed and cut short by the fact there was no crime to report. She didn't utter a word to the man and he followed suit. Veronica was no lawyer, but even she understood an intimidating glare wasn’t grounds for punishment. 

Veronica continued her days in fear traveling more with her friends and family. She hoped this would deter her attacker knowing there is strength in numbers. It helped for a while, days, weeks, and months went by as she forgot the feelings she once had before. The reports on the news came and went of women her age going missing. But each time she felt less and less afraid. When the headlines poured over her screen she held her husband and son a little tighter. 

A week later, Veronica’s husband had a religious conference for the denomination of Christianity they follow. He left on Saturday afternoon not wanting to travel early Sunday morning. His wife and son would be home for the weekend by themselves. The two opted to enjoy a brunch at the culinary experience known as IHOP. 

After the pancakes and syrup, The two were prepared to watch a movie together at their home. As Veronica and her son pulled into the driveway, got out and made their way to the front step, she felt a twinge of fear creep in. She ignored it and continued opening the door to her house. Her son bolted in. 

“Make sure to take your shoes off and wash your hands.” Veronica adoringly reminded her son. 

“Okay, mommy.” He replied back with a quickness. 

As Veronica turned around to close the front door, she heard a bellow emit from the front yard. And then a second one. She assumed it was the mailman delivering a package, to her surprise and dread that wasn’t the male voice she expected to hear.

“Excuse me, ma’am.” The voice emitted came from the man who altered her disposition in the first place. The man who forced her into fear. The man whose gaze did more damage than anything anyone had ever done to her. 

“What are you doing here?” Veronica’s franticness couldn’t be subdued. She felt herself losing her composure and power. 

“You don’t remember me do you?” The man stood far away so as not to make himself any more intimidating than he already was to her. 

“I don’t know and if you don’t leave I’ll call the cops.” The tension began to build as the air stood still. Any stray gusts of wind chasing after fall leaves ceased at that very moment. 

“Miss Barlowe, I didn't come to frighten you.” The man raised his hands in a sign of neutrality. The gesture forced his battered hoodie to creep up his arm and reveal his scars. Scars around his wrists. His eyes weren’t the menacing, hellish eyegates she saw. Veronica saw a child. 

“Dominik?” Veronica was struck with awe. At that moment she remembered who this individual was. 

The two standing feet apart were engaged in a fierce apologetic staredown. In a set of seconds, both shared the same flashbacks. Three two many encounters of an intimate kind. Flashes of their physical portrayals of passion. A passion that was safe in the confines of privacy. Veronica remembered the moments when their carnal affection was at the peak of boiling over, she whispered in Dominik’s ear the statement: “Don’t tell anyone.” 

“I tried to contact you, but you blocked me and then you left the school.” Dominik started still unaware as to what the next moments would entail. “I wasn’t sure what happened if I did something wrong.” 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Veronica began to step closer to reassure the man. “I should be apologizing to you. I was going through a lot at the time. And you were so sweet and just overall really accommodating.” 

Dominik’s eyes shifted from tragedy-filled to reassuring. He stepped closer his former teacher, only to be surprised. Veronica stepped back, which startled the young man.

“I should have been the adult in the situation, my pain wasn’t your responsibility to fix. Especially not as the-” Veronica stammered trying to get the words out. In that moment she was more disgusted with herself than she ever had been.

“It’s okay, I know what you mean.” Dominik saved her from uttering the word. “I just have one question.” 

“Of course, anything,” Veronica spoke without hesitation. She took something from this man she felt almost indebted to him. 

“Is the kid-” Dominik stopped short of saying the word. Instead, he subtly pointed to the back of his hand. At first, Veronica remained confused by her gaze and slowly moved down in the direction of his hands. 

“No, he’s not.” She said to him hurriedly. 

“What does he look like?’ Dominik pressed on wanting answers. Veronica wasn’t entirely comfortable divulging further about her son. She was apologetic at the optics of the situation but wasn’t fully sure of the mental state of her former student. 

Before she can even speak, the door to her home swings open. Veronica couldn’t inhibit or tame the curiosity of a five-year-old boy. He pushes the door open and finds the two standing on the porch. 

“Mommy who’s this?” The boy asks, putting both adults in an uncomfortable position. His blue eyes stared at both of them, volleying from one to the other. The wind began its chase again, blowing his blond hair out of place.

Without hesitation, Dominik crouches down to get on the young boy’s level. 

“I’m a friend of your mom’s. My name’s Dominik, what’s your's kiddo.” Veronica stood amazed not wanting to interrupt. 

“Cyrus,” the boy bellowed, hands raised in the air. “Me and mommy are gonna watch a movie.” Dominik listened to the boy and chuckled. He shook his head in agreement, his laugh like his eyes hid despair and pain behind them.

“Well Cyrus, I hope you guys enjoy yourselves. I won’t keep her from you that much longer.” Dominik outstretched a raised hand to which Cyrus jumped high fiving at the same time. The boy scurried into the house, waving at the two before disappearing. 

Dominik in a delayed manner got up from one knee. He sighs in a combination of relief and also regret. 

“Thank you for speaking with me Miss. Barlowe. I probably should get going.”  Dominik hid his face and gaze looking onward to the street. 

“Of course, get home safe,” Veronica spoke and stood in a collage of emotions, from embarrassment, fear, and guilt. She wished deep down Dominik never came to her home, that he never sat next to her that day. And more importantly, she never slept with him those years ago. 

Veronica watched as Dominik left her porch and began to walk, fading in the distance. She went inside to the noise of her joyful son excited about the film they would watch. She participated only to keep her son satisfied. His age allows him to be immune to the complexities of adult life, her’s makes her susceptible to it. As the MGM lion roared on the screen, Veronica kept thinking to herself. She begged the question: was she the real predator after all?