Find the perfect editor for your next book
Over 1 million authors trust the professionals on Reedsy. Come meet them.
Submitted to: Contest #16
Written in response to: "Write a story about a character on a quest, trying to "prove themselves.""
2 likes
3 comments
General
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
Great job of aligning your content to the prompt itself-- definitely can see the progression of the characters and it ends with a clearly defined moral at the end that ties everything together up nicely. I thought the bamboo was a really interesting element, and I liked the delivery style/voice because it reminded me of a mix of both old Japanese urban legends and traditional African folklore in a way. My only suggestion would to be for your next piece, maybe break up the piece into paragraphs so that the reader is forced to slow down and let the story itself progress naturally in a way that's visually easy to digest. Also, I used to be an English teacher and there are a few issues with minor things grammatically like subject/verb agreement in here.... but there is a website called Grammarly that you can copy/paste your work in and it will edit your piece for free, fixing all the grammatical issues. Keep up the good work!
Reply
thank you, it will help me a lot. I'm just a new writer
Reply
this is my second story.. hope you like it.
Reply