Chaos at the hardware store

CHAOS AT THE HARDWARE STORE

Nobody believes me but I’m big and strong, taller than a giant,

stronger than superman. I can jump high and touch the sky if I want to. I can do this cause I'm a lot like my hero, Tigger. You know Tigger-Tigger from Winnie the Poo, yeah, I'm like him.

Nooooooo, I’m not orange with black stripes, I don’t have beady eyes and, I don’t have a tail, but I sure do bounce around a lot. Like Tigger, I'm bouncy, pouncy, flouncy, and sometimes, I get in trouble because I move too quickly and knock things over, and I don't always think things through, but Tiggers are like that and me too, me too!

Let me tell you about a time I got into some “knocking things over trouble.” I wasn't very old, so maybe that's why so many things got knocked over cause I was just a kid. I remember going into the store with my mother. My mom wasn't bouncy, pouncy, flouncy at all and she was always telling me to stop jumping around. She just didn't understand that a kid like me, one who is big and strong, taller than a giant, stronger than superman didn't have time to sit still, I was a superhero and I had work to do.

You’d think a mother would know a kid like me is not able to be still and why she would take me into a store that had so many things is beyond me. Hey, what happened next, if you ask me, is her fault. She should've known better than to take a bouncy, pouncy, flouncy kid into a store that has so many things.

Right from the moment we walked in, I knew this store was trouble. It was a hardware store with so many things. It was hard to tell where one isle starts and where one isle ended.

It has all kinds of things; things that fix things, like hammers, screw drivers and drills, things that blink and jingle, like Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs and Easter baskets and bunnies with plastic eggs to put into the Easter basket. There are even things that nobody needs, like bells on a razor strap, egg holders and flour sifters. There are all kinds of ladders, some are tall and some are short, and some are so short that all you have to do is walk up three steps and you're at the top. I really liked this ladder cause it was bright, bright red and it would help me go high, way, way up high! Oh, there were so many things, it's hard to imagine how many things are in this store.

It’s easy to see that people worked really hard to make things look pretty and interesting, like the thing standing right before my eyes. It was the biggest and tallest tower of toilet paper rolls that I've ever seen. It started where my feet were on the floor and it went all the way up, almost to the ceiling, and it was so wide, so wide I couldn't see the other side. It was so tall, I'll bet superman couldn't reach the top, but I'll bet Tigger could and so could I cause I'm big and strong, taller than a giant, stronger than superman. I can jump high and touch the sky if I want to!

Yup, it was the tallest tower I’d ever seen.

I was so interested in that tall tower, I wanted to know how high my hand could touch by standing on the tippist of my tiptoes. Up went my hand, way far up, I was getting proud at how high my hand was going up, proud indeed. I was reaching high up for a kid who hasn't quite reached 4 feet yet.

“Yes,” I thought, “I can reach really high. Then I thought, what if I stood on that pretty red ladder, you know, the one with the three steps? Wow, I bet I can reach the top. I looked around, my mom was way over on the other side of the store talking to Mrs. Gitchell about some little tiny screws she needed for the lid on the breadbox. All the other people in the store seem to be looking around at all the things. So it seemed like it would be okay to borrow the little red ladder, I was going to give it back.

I brought the little red ladder over. I stepped onto the first step and wow, was I tall, but when I got up on the third step, I was taller than anybody, I was a giant. I even got on my tippy toes and reached up my arms to make myself even taller, and that's when I felt myself falling forward. I tried to grab something to stop me from falling but there was nothing to grab onto except toilet paper and toilet paper is not strong enough to hold a big kid like me. I felt the toilet paper rolls falling all around me. They didn't hurt, they were soft and it was kind of fun having them fall on my head.

Toilet paper rolls were falling everywhere, rolling around the floor, under the counters and one went out the door just as a little old lady was coming in. Boy, did she scream! Yes, this was fun, I was thinking, "I love this store". I was having fun, wheeeeee, it's raining toilet paper.

Then I heard voices, I think I recognized my mother’s voice but I’m not sure cause there were so many voices. They all seemed to be yelling, "NO, NO, NO." I think it was my mother who was calling my name and she didn't sound very happy, and I'm not sure why, cause I was having fun, fun, fun!

Years later when I had a kid that acted just like me, we were walking by the hardware store and from outside I could see a big display of toilet paper piled high to the ceiling and the old Tiger in me thought, "wouldn't it be fun..."