Runaway

Runaway

He looked between us once more and said “It’s either her or me.”

I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to be found. And now, everything is at stake. I’m going to lose everything.

…

She was gone. She left a long time ago.

Mattias wandered into the woods, the sun illuminating his path, the trees swaying elegantly in the breeze. He had come down far now, travelled for so long, he doesn’t know whether he could go back. Whether he even wanted to anymore.

Out here, everything seemed so much better. The birds’ chorus was sweeter than any music he had ever heard, the pine-scented air was fresher than the most expensive fragrances. The green, there was so much green. And it was the most wonderful colour. He was starting to understand why she had left. It was just so perfect.

Mattias shook his head to snap out of it. He couldn’t. He had ventured out here to get her back, not to fall into the trap himself.

His best friend Kaira had escaped the harsh city a long time ago.

“It’s suffocating.” She had told him. “I can’t stay. I’m sorry.”

Those words had etched themselves into his mind and had never left.

He walked into a massive pathway now, with wildflowers of every kind. He could get lost here. But he wouldn’t.

He was already lost, in many ways. He literally had no idea where he was, but Kaira leaving had left him spiralling more than he ever could have guessed. He never felt more alone. She was the only one who truly cared about him, had bothered to sit by the silent kid on the first day of high school. And had stayed with him ever since. If anything, he was the one who was supposed to run to the woods. Not Kaira. The one everyone loved. The one who always made time for him. His heart had ached every moment for the entire year since she ran away. The others had a small note from her, saying that she left and didn’t want to be found. Some believed it and tried to move on with their lives. Some conjured up stories of her being kidnapped and even killed and the note being a hoax. But only he knew the truth.

She had taken him here, many times, just to the entrance. She had dreamily spoke about living here, and he had laughed delightedly like it was a wonderful joke. Something distant. Something, impossible. And yet it had happened. She had given to him, and only him as far as he knew, a note. Written in her messy handwriting that somehow Mattias had no trouble reading.

“You know where I’ve gone, the place I always dreamed of. Don’t tell anyone, and don’t follow me. Promise me that okay? I’m sorry, I had to this. I know it’s selfish, I know you will hate me. Know it was never you though, it was everything else. You were the one who made life atleast a little bit delightful.

Keep catching sunlight and rain drops for me, and I’ll be too, somewhere far away. I’ve never really left you though, and I never will.”

Kaira

Catching sunlight and raindrops is what they would do A small, silly thing. Reaching out for the sun and letting it radiate their souls. Raindrops too, snow fall, leaves, anything really. It’s those moments he missed the most. And Kaira said she knows he would hate her, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

He couldn’t show it to anyone either.

He knew people were worried, and he felt evil for keeping it from them. But he had to keep his promise.

A couple days past, sleeping under the stars and waking up to bird chorus and fox trots and dew drops. He had gone so deep in now. And it felt more and more like home. And his real home was Kaira, so somehow he knew. He knew she was there, hidden in the branches before him. He edged closer, and closer. And she came out, leaping out of the bushes like she couldn’t wait a moment longer. He had expected her to have gone feral, half animal half woman, but no. She looked exactly the same as the day she abondoned him.

…

I never wanted to be found.

I was always running and always will.

I stared at the boy who had saved me so many times when I was on the edge. But he couldn’t keep me from leaving. No one could. No one had followed her, had even tried to find her. But he did. He was different, he always was.

Tears ran down my face. I couldn’t hide how happy I was to see him. Couldn’t hide how sorry I was. And I knew instantly he would want me to come back, I could see it in his eyes. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave. I ran to hug him, and he held me back tight. I cupped his face in my hands and had a look at him. There was a sad tinge to his face, the sunlight didn’t curl around him as it should have when he was happy. And oh how he was happy with her.

“You came for me.”

He smiled, tears welling up in his eyes. “Of course I did.”

“I’m so sorry. I found people here, I found where I belonged. I should’ve taken you with me, but I was just so lost, but I know you were too. I’m so sorry.”

Mattias smiled again. “You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

I took him by the hand, and led him to a clearing in the trees. And his jaw dropped at what he saw. A forest village, full of people. Harvesting food from the trees, creating garments out of leaves and flowers. I had chosen to keep my own clothes on though, and I told him I washed them in the river with tree sap.

“It’s nature’s soap you know.” I grinned. “Come in, I want to show you everything.”

I was so happy I could call the whole village for a dance. But that fire was extinguished before it even sparked. “What’s that person doing here?”

Lyra, the chief of this village. A kind gentle soul, stood before us. Kind and gentle yes, but not with “intruders.”

“Lyra, he’s my best friend I told you about! He’s wonderful, he’s not going to cause any harm please let him…”

“You don’t understand do you?” She scowled. “We don’t allow intruders. “

“But you allowed me..”

“You were a stray. But you had a family here. You never belonged there. But he does.”

“No. Please, I don’t belong there. I have no one there. No one will miss me I promise. Please let me stay here.”

Lyra frowned, studying him carefully. “We kill intruders you know. And we won’t hesitate to treat you the same.”

“She trailed a finger through her golden hair and a suffocating silence spread. Something boiled inside me, something fierce. I had to make up for everything, for the hundreds of days I had left him. I squeezed his hand and stepped forward. Everyone in the village watched silently. “No Lyra. I will go back. I’ll go back to the world out there. I can’t leave him again.”

Mattias glanced at me and our eyes met, a worried question in his.

Are you sure?

I replied silently, I’m sure.

I was always running. And I always will.

I had found my family. A real one. A loving mum and a gentle dad, a sweet sister, friends. A forest I loved, a heaven I could exist in forever. But there was always a gnawing guilt inside me, keeping me awake. I was wrong. And I wasn’t about to abandon him again.

“Stand here.” Lyra told me. “Next to me.”

Lyra examined me, the tiniest changed in my posture, in my eyes.

Mattias looked between us. “It’s either her or me.”

Lyra frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Either she comes with me or I stay here.”

Lyra had given the silent signal to the others to sharpen their spears, to come closer.

Panic rose in me. His eyes filled with fear.

I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to be found. And now, everything is at stake. I’m going to lose everything.

My family was watching, their arms wrapped around my little sister. They had cared for me, given me a home for so long. They owed me nothing and yet gave me everything. I looked at Mattias, backing away from the villagers. It twisted my mind how souls so kind become so ruthless in a glimmer of a moment.

“Why did you bring him here?” My mum asks me. Only then I realised, things had changed. No one was watching him, everyone was watching me. Looking at me in disgust. I thought the forest softened hearts, made people accept and be.

But I guess I was wrong. Again.

I’m always making the wrong choices. I’m always running and always will. I grab his hand. “Do you want to get out of here?”

A question I had asked him so many times it rolled of my tongue in a heart beat. In the crowded spaces , in the quiet classrooms.

Mattias couldn’t help but slightly smile, despite everyone waiting. For something to happen.

Lyras hands lifted, and her finger slowly shifted to point at him, to end his life.

Mattias nodded.

I was always running, I always will. I’m not sure of anything it seems, broken promises lie behind me in a never-ending path of shattered glass. But I know atleast one thing. If I’m running, I want to run with him, with his hand in mine. Because he is home. And no matter where I run to, he will follow.

So we run. We leap out through the bushes, I grab his hand as we clamber through the trees. Everyone chasing after us. The birds are singing, the villagers are chasing and shouting, my heart is screaming. But we run.

We don’t know where we’re running.

But this time we are running away together.