A fortnight with you

How many nights would it take to count the stars?

I’ve tried to count, many a times. But my mind wanders off. How could it not when you shine so bright, every night.

The sun comes and it goes. Nothing to thank for. The moon shines, giving me a night full of you.

A star that smiles.

Everything I will ever want.

~

Remember the day I lost you? Took a full month before I found you.

Never want to lose you again.

Never want to feel that pain.

~

Red and blue. Yellow and green. Colors that remind me of you.

Those popsicles we used to love, on a summer afternoon. Legs too sore from walking miles. Just for a two-pence straw of ice.

Stained shirts and colored lips. Eyes that glowed and mouths too cold. Time spent well in our eyes. Times we just couldn’t get enough of.

All those memories that we didn’t know… were a luxury.

~

Everyone says I’m insane. Little do they know that you are the chain, that ties me together, keeping me sane.

But I don’t care ‘bout what they say. The tales they spin in their own way.

For its only since you are up there, that I’m down here.

~

Wish I could go back to when we were five.

When everything we used to say, started with an ‘aye aye’.

When the smiles on our faces used to reach our eyes.

Back to when I used to like the sun as much as I liked the moon.

Back to when I didn’t have to look up to see you.

Wish you were by my side today.

~

Pride and Prejudice.

Reread the book today. Saw the scribbles you made along the way.

How I hated drawing in books. How you loved the same.

Tears flowed down my cheeks in waves. It wouldn’t stop.

I was the Charles Bingley to your Darcy.

I still am.

It wouldn’t stop.

~

Went to the playground today. Or to the Fun Land, like we used to say.

Saw two kids come down the slide. Hand in hand, side to side.

They ran about in circles. Fell to their knees laughing. For they had found their happy place. Just like we had all those years ago.

It made me smile. It made me cry.

But don’t you worry, they were happy tears. Only happy tears.

I had a good day today. One in a really long time.

~

Momma said I look bad. Lost weight and eyes black.

A little concealer under the eyes did the trick. Masked my face from the darkness beneath.

Reminded me of the time we stayed up all night and woke up the next day with eyes black as the night.

Amazing how every little thing reminds me of pieces of you. From popsicles to concealers. Even if I don’t want them to.

 Even… if it breaks my heart.

~

Switched the tv on to find another thing that reminded me of us.

How you loved to waste your time in front of that idiot box. How you got scolded every time for doing so.

On air was a new season of Gossip Girl, the show you were too embarrassed to admit you liked. How I made fun of you for watching that idiot show. But did you know I secretly enjoyed it too.

If you were here, we could have watched the show every day. How many ever times you say.

I wouldn’t have complained at all. For you deserve the world and more.

If only you were here.

~

The day that they took you, I wished it was me instead.

But then I thought of the pain that I went through. No, I would never wish that upon you.

Anything, anything for you.

~

The sky was tinged blue and green. Just like the color of your eyes.

Got me thinking of the time when you went all around town, telling anyone who would care to listen of how your eyes changed colors.

Of course, I told you that wasn’t true but keep this in mind. I was jealous. I was envious. For your eyes were the most beautiful ones I’d ever seen.

They went from Teal to Turquoise. Sapphire to Navy. Always tinkling, no matter what.

How delighted you would have been to hear me say this to you. I should have. I was a fool.

Fool for you.

~

Talking to you is what I look forward to.

You’re the star that leads me home. Where you are is where I am.

Always and forever.

~

Surely you remember that ‘twas my birthday today. The day I always disliked. You never understood why.

Never knew what to wish for. Now I realize that ‘twas because with you by my side, I had everything I’d ever need or want.

But today I had something to wish for. So, I wished.

Wished to see to your smile again.

~

Tell me they’re all wrong. Tell me you’ll always stay.

Tell me that a fortnight is not all I get with you.

‘Promise? Promise.’ like we used to say.

I need to hear you say. Promise?

Promise?

~NEW MOON~

My last note:

He is up there. I know. Even if he isn’t in his usual place. I know for sure.

Without him, I’m not me. I’ll never be.

I need to go. I need to go. For he is waiting.

Don’t worry. Just look up. I’ll be there. So will he.

 Twinkling brighter than ever with him by my side.

We were meant to be.

~

The mother who lost her two sons looked up at the star-filled night sky. Up among the many stars were two that stood out. Brighter than the rest. Closer than the others. It hurt more than any amount of words could ever express. With her son’s last note held close to her heart, she let it all out. Let the tears flow. They were together once again. The two brothers, from beginning to the end. Always and forever.