Only you

Competition week 3

Simon looked at Helen. His heart still skipped a beat, just like that first time he had seen her, sweaty and muddy with bruises and scratches in unbelievable places. She had just finished a charity fun run. Five k  of torture would be more accurate, but this girl had ignored the frost and ice and stuck at it. Simon knew in an instant that he wanted her. And when it came to girls, he always got what he wanted. His six foot three, curly blond hair, and a soft Irish accent did the trick every time. His twinkling blue eyes and perfect manners were just the icing on the cake. Simon wasted no time in pushing the crowds out of his way and finding Helen. He gave his broadest smile.

“Hello number 25, my name’s Simon. That was a brave thing to do on a Sunday morning, well done”.

“Just go away and annoy someone else. I’ve done my bit for charity already”, came the reply.

 Simon was hooked. He had never been turned down before and strangely he had enjoyed it. A challenge he told himself, now that is refreshing.

Helen took a sneaky look at this blond gift from heaven. He obviously loved himself too much. He would have his work cut out here that’s for sure. Any half decent lad would have thought to bring her a bar of chocolate or a strong coffee. Not this one, she mused; he was only interested in proving to himself that all he had to do was click his fingers. Helen was a strong, independent girl who also loved a challenge. And from that moment the rules were set. All Simon needed to do was work them out.

It took Simon two months to get a date. But, in his defence, he stuck to the task and started to tick a lot of boxes on Helen’s wish list. He was a worker, of that there was no doubt. He had two part-time jobs, as well as seeming to be sailing through sixth form. And they started to spend white a bit of time together. He remembered how much she loved roses, and made a corner of her parents garden into a rose garden. But most importantly he always took time to talk to her, and he listened. Sometimes Helen actually thought that he had come to know her better than she knew herself.

Simon had made his mind up, virtually from day one. Despite her outer ‘I can take on the world’ persona, she had a softer more vulnerable side. Simon loved this. In many ways it helped his confidence around her to know she needed him. Within a few days Simon was discreetly stepping back from some of his friends. He wanted people he could trust. Some of them were just people who wanted to be around him when the party started and the girls arrived. Nothing wrong with that, but he wanted more.

Simon and Helen spent a great couple of years doing the kind of fun things you would expect from two lovestruck kids, going to see a film, grabbing a burger, or if Simon had worked extra hard, a nice meal and even a pudding. Simon’s artwork was really flourishing now. He had such a natural creative streak. He sailed through college and walked into a job. Helen had always been a whizz with numbers; a book-keeping course was tailor made for her. In truth nothing touched their little bubble, they were happy. They were married by the time they were twenty-two. Within three years Simon was designing and selling his own greeting cards; it was proving to be a winner. People just could not get enough of his designs and the obvious love and care he put into it. Helen provided the background strength doing the clerical side. As well as keeping their lives organised and on track. It was the perfect partnership; they were invincible. Nothing and nobody could touch them.

But therein lay the problem. Neither of them knew the danger signs to look out for. Maybe they didn’t know each other as well as they thought, who’s to say. It started when Simon began going by himself to these overnight business meetings. Helen had always, up till then, gone as well. We will make a break of it, they always said. Suddenly, they were too busy, or Simon worried she would become bored. Evening meals started appearing ready to be microwaved with a scribbled note, ‘gone to mums’, or ‘out with the girls’. In the beginning the notes would have ended with a kiss or a love heart, but not any longer. Maybe Helen just thought it went unsaid after all this time. On the odd occasions when their paths did cross in the evening, Simon would waste the opportunity andtake the dog out for a couple of hours, then football on the telly and an early night. Swimming training went down from three nights a week, to Simon going hardly at all. Helen always looked a million dollars, hair done, lovely clothes and a great figure. Simon was going the other way, He needed a shave and heaven only knows where the grey hairs and bags under his eyes came from. But there was no communication. They were both too concerned to discuss it; they may not want to hear what was said. The weekly ‘quality time’ meetings had been forgotten, as had Simon’s birthday, again. And in case you are wondering…yes, she did care. They both did.

If only Helen had paid more attention to Simon’s appointment diary. If only he had been honest about the odd hour here or the two hours there when he went missing. She may have noticed the downturn in Simon’s general wellbeing. The doctor’s appointments and trips to the hospital he kept to himself.  The bond they had holding them together had been cast aside and forgotten about.

Helen would never forget that fatal day. The shame, and the feeling of being inadequate, mixed with feelings of anger and betrayal. She felt both lost and abandoned, whilst still guilty and remorseful. She was desperate to escape somewhere quiet and get her head around everything that had happened. More than anything she needed one of those glasses of wine she had become so reliant on. But the phone call had changed all that. Moreover, it had changed her life in an instant. Her life had been laid bare for all to see, and ultimately in some cases, judge. The call itself was short and to the point. The repercussions were long and far-reaching. Her husband her beloved Simon had been taken into hospital. How the hell had she not noticed the state he was in. She was so wrapped up in herself. What was she going to do? Helen drove the three miles to hospital not caring a stuff about speed limits, or in truth other road users. She was sure they would understand. She was now sat in a waiting room waiting for a nurse. As she sat there her memories turned to the day Simon had proposed. He, as usual, had the habit of choosing the most inopportune moment. They were decorating her parents house, she had paint on her face from when Simon thought it would be fun to dab her. He was halfway up a ladder that looked likely to collapse. It was the slapstick humour of the moment that prompted him; you just needed to understand him. In his eyes Helen would never say no, so he wanted to make it as memorable as possible. Oh my god, how smart he looked on their wedding day. The whole event was magnificent. Simon had planned the whole day, right down to the 5k  charity fun run beforehand. Her friends and family still laugh about it.

Helen was brought back down to earth by the sound of a door opening and a nurse entering.

Helen could say ‘Hello’ to Simon but that was all. As she stood by his bed she was horrified. This tall, strong, goliath of a man suddenly looked weak and feeble. He had aged 15 years since thay morning and, for the first time ever, had nothing to say. There were wires and tubes everywhere with more machines than you could imagine possible. Simon looked terrified; Helen just stood rooted to the spot, her whole life flashed before her. Despite all their recent problems, she could not imagine life without this man. She felt the tears starting to form. She had to stay strong and, for the first time in her life, it was not all about her. She turned around and ran from the bedside of the man she loved, even though she felt he had become a stranger. From that day forward nothing else would matter, just her husband’s health and getting him back to normal. Then, and only then, could she start thinking aboutmending their marriage. She couldn’t allow herself to lose either,  no matter what it took.

First things first, she needed to get him a bag together. What will he need, she pondered. It was the first time she had ever given it any thought.

The next couple of weeks went by in a daze. It seemed to her that there was a never-ending procession of doctors and nurses, all checking figures, making and reading notes. Helen reached the end of her patience. She wanted to know what had happened and why. Simon still looked so frail and unable to fight his own battles; she needed to take over.

 The answers she got made her go ice cold; they had to be wrong. She was told that Simon had a rare blood condition called sepsis, well, not so rare as it turns out. It was extremely dangerous and in a lot of cases fatal. However, on the upside, if you can all it that, Simon had already been in hospital for a week and showed no sign of things getting worse. The big test was when they removed the tubes and monitors. Was he strong enough to cope? Just as Helen was starting to digest this news, she was hit with another hammer blow. The hospital had found a problem with Simon’s heart as well. At this stage Helen went to pieces. All the news she had been given  overloaded her head. When she had calmed down the specialist explained that sometimes medical words had an extraordinarily strong effect. They needed more tests to see how Simon was coping with things now. If he could overcome the sepsis, it may not haveany serious long-term effects. However, he might get low in confidence and would initially have very  little strength. As for the heart problem, fingers crossed with some medication and a life-style overhaul he should have no problems. Having heard these words Helen found a strength and resolve she had long forgotten. Hospitals were blooming awful places; all the uncertainty and just four walls to gaze at. She needed to get Simon home where he belonged. He would want his own bed, familiar food, and the only nurse he needed was her. For now, however, she needed to be Simon’s link with normality, his window to the outside world.

Within a couple of weeks Helen got her wish and her husband came home. The hospital left her under no illusions, Simon may be going home but the work was just beginning. For a start there would be a whole load of doctors and hospital appointments to keep. They had to monitor him. Also, Helen would have to work on Simon’s mental state, his strength, and his fitness. The hospital reminded her that all the medication might mean Simon would spend most of the time asleep at first. He would not want to, or be able to, go anywhere. His confidence was shot, and he needed to work out just what his body could do. He may have to start doing everyday things in a slightly different way. Helen came to the conclusion that  there was such a mountain to climb, they would need to take one day, and then one week, at a time.

It was hard, harder and more challenging than Helen ever imagined. Simon’s low self-esteem and lack of drive proved a major obstacle. Oh, Simon was improving, it was just very slow. It took him two weeks to stand and three weeks to walk around the garden. But Helen knew Simon was making a huge effort, even though the progress was slow. But  what was the next level? And then she had an idea. She waited until he could climb the stairs and walk to the end of the street unaided. And then one day, while he was completing lap two of their exceptionally large garden, Helen played her ace card. She walked through the gate holding a six-month-old puppy. The plan worked better than she imagined. Simon had something to focus on; this bundle of fun needed him just as much as Simon needed it. It gave him independence and a sense of purpose; it also got rid of his feelings of despair. The weight was lifted off Helen too.  She could leave Simon at home, armed with a sandwich, and go back to work part time. When they talked about their days, miraculously, he could join in and even announce plans. He still had bad days and periods of frustration but that was to be expected. But now he had a new best friend to talk to. One whose solution to any crisis was a big, sloppy kiss and a play in the garden. It changed Simon’s perspective of how full his life was.

Simon and Helen enjoyed their exercise together. He started swimming again, only gradually but, as they both had learned over the last few months, it didn’t matter. The world would not stop if he didn’t quite manage another five minutes. They started walking together and while they did this they talked. For the first time in years, they became friends again, the rest just fell into place. Helen got Simon to have a shave and ditch the denim look, reverting back to the Simon she had looked up to and loved. Simon put his foot down about the idea of Helen getting a tattoo. She was beautiful she did not need body art to make her get noticed. The medical follow up checks got fewer and fewer, and nine months after having been in hospital Simon went back to work.

It was hard to grasp, but ,amazing and wonderful to think that it had taken potentially life-changing events to make this couple happier than they had ever been.