Reconciliation

“Here you go,” said Elise as she handed a glass of wine to Bianca, her close friend, and coworker.

“Thank you, honey,” said Bianca. “You have a beautiful home! Again, thanks for inviting me over. I would have had nothing to do tonight and I might have started the New Year in depression. Now I can start it with good company and wine. ”

Both ladies chuckled. Bianca saunters around Elise’s home and then to the kitchen where Elise is putting the finishing touches on their New Year’s Eve meal.

 “Elise, what is all this?” questioned Bianca, as she flipped through sheets of paper held by a magnet on the side of Elise’s fridge.

“Those are New Year’s resolutions. Long story,” she replied as she shook her head and smiled.

“Believe me, darling, we have time,” said Bianca. “Can I look at them?”

She removed them from the fridge before Elise could answer and sat on a barstool by the kitchen island.

Totally engrossed, Bianca didn’t notice the piercing look she received from Elise, who took a deep breath and exhaled very slowly.

“That is a tradition my dad and I started. Every New Year’s Eve would write our resolutions and post them on the fridge. As you achieved a goal, made a change, surpassed a goal, or whatever, you had to make a note of it. So, you would keep updating it throughout the year. Whatever wasn’t achieved had to be rolled over to the following year.”

“This is so wonderful. It is a piece of history here. You have ten years’ worth of lists here. Some of it is like a conversation with your dad,” observed Bianca.

“What do you mean?” asked Elise.

“Look here,” pointed Bianca. Elise wrinkled her face and was anxious to see what she was talking about. “Awww! Sixteen-year-old you, New Year’s resolutions 2010 - must get a boyfriend. Look at your dad’s for 2010 – scare away any boy that comes near my daughter, cripple any boy that touches her, bury any boy that hurts her. This is priceless. He even had four smiley faces by the first one.”

The two women keeled over laughing.

“You know I never noticed that,” confessed Elise.

“Elise, what happened in 2010? 2011 New Year’s resolution says – put the pieces back together. Both of your names are on it. It got normal again for a few years. What’s this about? In 2015, you have – forgive that woman. Your dad has - get Elise to forgive her mother. You are such a bitch, Elise. I didn’t even know your mother was still alive. You talk about your dad all the time but you never once mentioned your mother. 2016 – Call that woman. Does this have something to do with what happened in 2010 and 2011?  2017 – Forgive and call her. 2018 – Forgive and call your mother. 2019 – Please forgive and reconnect with your mother, give her a call. The last three were your dad’s handwriting. 2020 – Call my mother. 2021 – Call my mother.”

Bianca was speechless and the laughter and grins had died down and faded. She realised that very insensitively, she had opened a putrid can of worms. Bianca walked over to Elise and threw her arms around her.

“Honey, I am sorry for prying. Whatever this is I know that it is tough for you. If you want to talk about it I’ll listen. If not, we can still try to have a nice time,” said Bianca, who always saw Elise as a little sister and looked out for her.

Elise dried her eyes and took a seat and Bianca sat next to her. She liked Bianca because she was full of life and held nothing back. She was sharp and witty and the only person she had bonded to at her new job. She didn’t think that New Year’s Eve 2020 would have brought her face to face with this again.

Bianca poured Elise some wine and she drank the entire glass in one go. Bianca’s eyes widened, but she didn’t utter a word. Elise pours some more wine and walks to the window.

“I haven’t spoken to my mother in years and yes, it has everything to do with 2010. I was young and foolish. I thought I knew what I was doing. I achieved my 2010 goal and I ended up pregnant. I was more than three months in when my parents found out. My mother, without consulting my father or me, went ahead and organised an adoption for my baby. She took care of the legal work, vetted the family and everything.” Tears rolled down Elise’s face. “I never got to hold my baby. They cleaned her up and took her away.”

Bianca held Elise’s hand and led her back to the sofa. Elise gulped some more wine.

“I stopped eating. My mother and father argued bitterly for days until he packed us up and we left her. He was furious that neither of us was given a say. He felt that getting me away from her was best. Eventually, I started eating again and he helped me through the roughest part of my life. He helped me map out my goals and I worked towards them,” explained Elise.

“And now you’re the Marketing Manager of ADB. I am sure that they were both proud of you,” said Bianca.

Elise scoffed.

“Every time I pass a nine-year-old girl I can’t help but wonder if she’s mine. That woman broke me. It took a long time to put those pieces back together. A hell of a long time!” screamed Elise through the tears. “How could my mother do this to me? My mother?”

“She did it because she is your mother. Put yourself in her shoes. She wanted what was best for you and knew that with a baby on your hip you could never have accomplished all that you had,” explained Bianca.

“How dare you take her side? Get out!” screamed Elise.

“Scream as much as you like. You are entitled, but I am not leaving you like this,” shouted Bianca.

“You bitch! That woman stole my baby. She gave her away like she was a dress that didn’t fit right anymore. There was never a discussion. I never had a clue. My daddy didn’t have any idea she had planned this whole thing. I carried her for nine months and I never even saw her face and that destroyed me,” shouted Elise through the tears.

 Bianca put her arm around Elise and they cried together. They talked for the rest of the night about her father and how wonderful her mother was before the baby. Elise wondered what she would have done were the roles reversed.

“Do you think you can forgive her? I mean you all don’t have to be besties or anything just be able to communicate,” said Bianca

“I can. My dad left a number for her. I will call her tomorrow and pay her a visit,” said Elise as wiped her face with a napkin.

“Do you need back up?” asked Bianca.

“I think I can handle this,” answered Elise.

***

“Good morning, I am trying to reach Lana Gerald please,” said Elise

“Good morning, this is Shady Pond Senior Resort and Spa. Who did want to speak to?” said the receptionist.

“Mrs. Lana Gerald,” said Elise.

“Oh Mrs. Gerald. Unfortunately, Mrs. Gerald can’t come to the phone, but you are free to visit her,” said the receptionist.

“Thank you.”

Elise entered the home and headed for the water cooler. She gulped two glasses as though it was the last bit of water for miles. She never considered that her mother would have gotten old and needed this type of special care. She didn’t know that she was in a home. She didn’t know how long she had been there. Overshadowed by guilt, she went shamefully to the reception desk and asked to see her mother.

“Mrs. Gerald is in room 12a, straight down the hall and second door on the right. You’re her first visitor in two years. No one has been here since her husband. Are you her daughter?” the receptionist’s words sounded pleasant, but her expression was one of disdain. “She used to talk about you a lot.”

“Thank you,” said Elise as guilt and shame sat on either shoulder blade weighing her down.

“Oh one more thing,” said the receptionist, “She isn’t always lucid, she comes and goes, so she doesn’t always make sense.”

Elise pushed the door and saw her mother sitting by a window and staring out. Her fully grey hair rested midway down back, her dull, loose clothing rested gently on her papery, thin skin, and failed to enhance her pallid complexion.

“Hi mum,” said Elise.

“I had a daughter once. More beautiful than you and smarter too. She was my princess,” said Lana.

“Mum, it’s Elise.”

“That’s a beautiful name. I think I will name my daughter Elise,” said Lana.

Elise took her hand, “Mum, I am sorry. I am sorry that it took me so long to forgive and that it took me so long to get here. I am sorry that dad died before I could do this.”

“Lopez, 1243 Crystal Drive, Strawberry Fields, Dipton,” said Lana.

“I know now that you did what you thought was best for me, but mum, it hurt so bad that I couldn’t get past it. Now the best years of both our lives together are gone. Mum, I wish I hadn’t been so stupid in the first place. I wish I hadn’t been such an angry teenager,” said Elise.

“I know, my dear. We were both impulsive, but I should have let you have a say. I was thinking about your future. I wanted you to be free to achieve all that you could and you did that, and I am so proud of you. If I had known that it would have ruined our relationship. I wouldn’t have done it and for that I am sorry,” said Lana.

Elise hugged her mother and the tears began to flow.

“Lopez, 1243 Crystal Drive, Strawberry Fields, Dipton,” said Lana. “Lopez, 1243 Crystal Drive, Strawberry Fields, Dipton.”

Elise stepped away, “Mum! It’s Elise.”

“That’s a beautiful name. I think I will name my daughter Elise,” said Lana. “Lopez, 1243 Crystal Drive, Strawberry Fields, Dipton.”

The door opened and in walked an orderly with a meal and some medicine.

“Excuse me! I didn’t expect anyone to be in here. She never has visitors,” said the orderly.

“It’s not a problem. I was just leaving,” said Elise. She kissed her mother on the forehead and left.

***

“Bianca, it wasn’t what I expected at all, I felt horrible for hating her for so long and for not going to see her. I felt such a release in saying sorry and being able to talk to her one more time,” said Elise.

“Will you go back?” asked Bianca.

“I intend to,” said Elise.

“That’s great,” said Bianca.

“There is one thing though I can’t get out of my mind - the address. My mum kept repeating an address for Lopez. I don’t know who they are. But I think tomorrow I am going to pay them a visit,” said Elise. “I’ll ask them if they know my mother.”

***

“Here it is, 1243 Crystal Drive, Strawberry Fields, Dipton,” recited Elise, “Wow! This place is huge.”

Elise knocks on the door, “Good morning, this might sound strange to you, but my mother keeps reciting your address and I wondered if you might know her, Lana Gerald. My name is Elise Gerald.”

The gentleman at the door turned paler than her mother.

“Honey, who is at the door?” asked Mrs. Lopez.

“Penny, this is Elise Gerald, Lana’s daughter,” said Mr. Lopez.  

“We all knew this day would come. Come in, my dear,” said Mrs. Lopez.

Elise wore confusion like a second skin. Clueless, she entered the house.

“Just a minute,” said Mrs. Lopez. Mrs. Lopez returns with a girl about nine years old. “Hope, this is your mummy.”

Elise’s eyes filled with tears, she memorised everything about the child, her daughter. Her two pigtails, her freckles, her tomboyish clothes, and her athletic stance. She took her hand and then gently hugged her.

“We never kept Hope’s adoption a secret. She asked us one day if she was adopted because she looked so different than us and we said yes. We told her whenever she was ready to find you to let us know. Unless you found her first,” said Mr. Lopez.

Mrs. Lopez continued, “I want to make something clear. Hope is our child and she lives and stays with us, but we have no problem with you having scheduled visits. We want her to know you and we know that it wasn’t your choice to give her away.”

“I understand and I will really like that,” said Elise.

Amazed at how mentally prepared they were, the awkward straightforwardness of the whole event had Elise smiling. She never thought it would have been so easy, but she was glad that it worked out the way it did.

***

“2021, you’re off to a rocking start,” said Elise.

She went to the fridge and on the list that said New Year’s resolutions 2021 she crossed off the first item that read - call my mother, and the second item – find my daughter.

“Thanks, mum.”