The Truth

Let’s start with the scene of the crime. It’s Sunday afternoon and my parents have just returned from an outing. My sister Roxy greets them at the door. Her tail is wagging so hard her whole body shakes. As my parents turn to face the kitchen, they spot my brother Bj lounging on the table. He is tapping his tail with a look of disgust on his face. They take their shoes off and head into the family room where they find their favorite pet (that’s me). Dog treats lay all over the floor and I am doing my best to eat every single one! “Josie, what are you doing?,” mom says angrily.

  I bow my head and tuck my tail between my legs. If I could speak to my human parents, I would let them know none of this was my fault. I am an innocent bystander. Alas, I am only a dog. But since this is a work of fiction, let me explain my side of the story.  

The Truth by Princess Josie Mamola

  Once upon a time, there was a dog princess named Josie. She lived in a golden castle with her parents and two siblings, Roxy and Bj. Roxy, the dunderheaded dog, spent countless hours running around the backyard with a purple ball in her mouth. If she wasn’t in the backyard, she was inside barking at every delivery driver who left a package at the golden castle’s front door. Princess Josie tried to explain to the dunderhead that the delivery drivers were only doing their job, but to no avail. 

  Princess Josie also had to deal with the scoundrel cat, Bj. The scoundrel spent his days sprawled out on top of the couch. But in between naps, he caused utter chaos. As Princess Josie and the dunderhead walked through the house, the scoundrel would rush up and slap their faces! Every time this happened, the dunderhead’s eyes grew wide and her mouth hung open in shock, as if this was not a daily occurrence. Princess Josie could only shake her head at the dunderhead’s lack of intelligence and the scoundrel’s wickedness. 

  On top of random slapping, the scoundrel enjoyed taunting the dunderhead and Princess Josie from the kitchen table. He sat on his ‘throne’ and gazed down at them with a look of disdain. If looks could kill, both the dunderhead and Princess Josie would have died long ago. Then, in an act of utter disregard for his parent’s belongings, the scoundrel arbitrarily pushed items off the table. Princess Josie warned him he would pay for his misdeeds, but he only hissed in response. This frightened the dunderhead, who cried and ran away.

  Early one Sunday morning, Princess Josie and her mom woke to the sound of banging on the bedroom door. The cruel scoundrel was on the other side, demanding his breakfast. Although Princess Josie had discouraged him from this daily activity, he refused to listen. Mom’s eyes were bloodshot and her knees cracked as she stumbled out of bed. She groaned and staggered to the kitchen to feed the ungrateful beast. 

  “Good morning,” dad called from the family room.

  “Morning.”

  “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, but the cat woke me up again.”

  “I'm sorry, he’s a stinker!”

  After feeding the scoundrel, mom scooped kibble into the dog bowls. The dunderhead became unhinged, spinning in circles and jumping up and down. Princess Josie rolled her eyes and regally waited for her bowl of food. 

  Once everyone had their breakfast, mom poured a large cup of coffee and joined Princess Josie in the recliner, quietly sipping her drink. As mom sat enjoying her coffee, the scoundrel tiptoed into the kitchen and knocked over the water bowl. The dunderhead thought it was a great game and raced back and forth through the puddle of water. Princess Josie barked, scolding her siblings. She had told them time after time it was too early in the morning for these shenanigans. Mom laid her head back against the recliner, closing her eyes and moaning. 

  “Why don't we go out for breakfast this morning? It would be nice to get out of the house,” Dad said.

  “Sounds good!”

  An hour later, Princess Josie's parents left the house. Unfortunately, this was when the real trouble started.

  At first, the golden castle was calm. The scoundrel sat on top of his cat tree, watching the birds out the window while Princess Josie and the dunderhead lay sleeping on the couch. Peaceful music played on the TV. Then the doorbell rang, and the dunderhead went insane! She jumped off the couch, ran to the front window, and barked like a rabid lunatic! Princess Josie growled in exasperation. As the dunderhead continued her frenzied meltdown, the scoundrel jumped off his cat tree and snuck behind the couch. 

  Once the delivery driver left, the dunderhead quieted down. As she walked back into the family room, the scoundrel dashed from behind the couch and smacked her in the face. She was so startled she took off running and crashed into the table where mom and dad kept the treats. The container fell to the floor and spilled everywhere. The dunderhead looked like a child on Christmas morning. She began devouring treats as if she were in an eating competition. The scoundrel sat on the table, sneering from his ‘throne’ while Princess Josie sat on the floor with an anxious look on her face. Their parents would be home soon, and Princess Josie knew they would be in trouble.   

  When the garage door opened, the dunderhead raced to greet mom and dad at the door. Princess Josie hustled into the family room and scarfed down as many treats as possible before her parents came through the door, trying desperately to clean up the mess. 

  In the end, mom and dad blamed poor Princess Josie for the complete fiasco. The dunderhead and the scoundrel continue on their daily quests to annoy and humiliate Princess Josie. But now you know the truth.