Make a Wish

Brianne B.

It had been a week since her mother's funeral. One full week. Really the worst week she could have ever imagined, she went over each detail over the drive. She left about an hour after the funeral wrapped up, having already packed her life into her old, hippie van.

Now, I know what you're thinking, leaving that same day, how cold. But, the death was expected and the funeral had been completely planned prior to the actual death. You see, cancer runs through the family tree. Almost every woman on her mother's side develop a cancer and about 70% of them have died from it. In fact, she herself had cancer and wasn't promised a long life so when her mother was reaching her final days, she took her daughter's hands and pulled her in for a serious moment.

“Eleanor. You listen to me, this” she gestured to the hospital room and the universe itself, “is so temporary so it is so important you grab life by it's nasty balls and live!”

With that said, for the rest of their days together, they planned and prepared for Eleanor's new life to live. She would be moving. It had just been her and her mother here and her mother truly didn't want Eleanor taking the same steps in this sad place all on her own. So, they planned.

They found her an apartment in a low-rise apartment building, it was close enough to live a downtown life if she chose but also a place she could live quietly when she wanted.

They discussed everything Eleanor would need to bring with her and the things she would need to get, the things she would need her mother bought and had shipped to the apartment so they'd be there for her when she arrived.

During the last month, her mother was allowed to leave the hospital, her choosing, she wanted to spend her last days with her daughter, helping her daughter and trying to be productive. Now, she couldn't really do much in the field of heavy-lifting or moving, but that's not what mattered to Eleanor. She truly enjoyed having her mother there to help her decide what to pack and what to give away, possibly even sell. Eleanor really didn't own much, so, by the end of the process, there were only three boxes, two suitcases and a few bags of things. Her mother labelled absolutely everything and tried to help Eleanor pack her van in the most efficient way.

Next, they bought a road map. On that map, they each grabbed a different coloured highlighter and planned the trip. Eleanor did the straightforward, how to get to a to b, her mother highlighted the detours. To say her mother's colour dominated the map would be an understatement.

But they had fun and it felt like every other time they would do something together, which was very often. They only had each other so, they stuck with each other. Neither of them wishing for more, neither of them feeling like they were missing out on anything.

When the last days were evident, it became very difficult. Both of them trying to pretend to the other that everything was fine. They mainly spent their days watching their favorite movies, Eleanor eating their favorite foods for them both (since her mother had completely lost her appetite for food).

One night, as the credits rolled to yet another movie, they sat, hand in hand.

“It's midnight.” mother stated. Eleanor nodded.

Her mother turned her body to look Eleanor straight on, took her hand in both of her frail ones, “let's make a wish,” and she smiled her big, radiant smile.

When Eleanor went to open her lips, her mother stopped her with a finger to her mouth. “Shhh, nope. A wish won't come true if you say it out loud.”

Eleanor smiled to her.

They both closed their eyes and squeezed onto each others hands.

Mother, I wish, please, that my dear Eleanor loves, and is loved and is so very happy.

Eleanor, I wish she didn't have to leave me.

When they both opened their eyes, at the exact same time, the clock turned 12:01.

Now Eleanor stood in the middle of her new living room. Her three boxes, two suitcases and few bags around her. Her kitchen table and coffee table in a box against a wall waiting to be assembled. Her new tv sat in another corner and her new giant couch was just there, randomly placed in the living room. In her bedroom, the bed was there, mattress in it's bag against the wall, frame delivered set up. In the kitchen there was a box of a dining set. Four big plates, four small plates, four bowls, and four mugs. There was also a set of drinking glasses, a set of pots and pans and a small collection of Tupperware. Everything she'd need was there, ready to be unpacked and made into a part of her new home. But, she could only stand there. This wasn't her home yet, she knew it would take time and effort on her part to make it her home but, all she wanted to do was curl up and bawl her eyes out.

So, what did she do?

Eleanor Googled and walked to the nearest liquor store. She bought herself two huge bottles of strawberry wine and a small-ish bottle of Tequila. Next, she went to the grocery store. She bought orange, she and her mother had always preferred orange to lime slices with her Tequila. With her oranges, she went to the chip isle and bought a few bags of her and her mother's favorites. Next was the frozen food section and she bought more favorites; garlic bread, tater tots, mozzarella sticks and vegan “chicken” nuggets.

She then cashed out and walked home, already opening and eating some Doritos on her way. Getting back to her building, she fumbled with the main door key on her key chain. All the keys were still so foreign to her and trying to find the right one with full arms was, apparently, an impossible task and they fell from her hands. Eleanor growled and thumped her head against the heavy wooden door.

“Need some help?”

“Holy freaking jesus!” Eleanor jumped and spun around, she dropped one bag to the ground and death-gripped the other, the bag of alcohol.

The man standing behind her laughed and covered it with a snort, dropping his head. When he looked up again he had sobered, “I am so sorry,” he said as he bent to pick up her keys and the bag of food. Eleanor glared suspiciously at him, as she always did to people she didn't know and who were being nice to her.

“I'm Jake, the super here.”

“Oooooooooo, oh yes, uhm. Hi,” she adjusted her hands and extended one to Jake, “I'm Eleanor.”

“Oh yes, my new tenant,” Jake shook her hand.

He then reached around her with her keys and expertly unlocked the door, then held it open for her. Scurrying in, she began the stairs as Jake followed. When they got to her door, he stood just as awkwardly as she did. When she couldn't think of what to do next, and Jake obviously noticed this, he unlocked her apartment for her, pushed the door open then stood back away from it.

“Uhm,” she mumbled, “thank you.” She even offered him a smile, but no lingering eye contact.

He gave her an honest smile, nodded his head, “no worries. I'm in apartment 3C if you need anything.” He then handed her the food bag and they went there ways.

Getting into the apartment, within 5 minutes, her wine was poured and there were mozzarella sticks in the oven. She plugged her tv in, put in the next movie on her and her mother's list and began her re-homing.

Another thing Eleanor and her mother did together, was find work for Eleanor, which they did. After sending out emails and all the essentials, they found a job. Eleanor has spend most of her adult life in the world of art and she was able to land a job as a curator at a very well-known art studio. She began work the second week of her being there and was able to dive right in, which helped. She didn't have to worry about anything else, she had work to keep her busy and occupied so the only time she really had to cry was at night when she tried to sleep.

It did surprise her how quick her work life began to thrive, she became pretty popular in the art scene and made a number of business contacts within her first few weeks. She became so busy and sought after that she actually began interviews for her own assistant, it took her a little longer than probably necessary to find one, since she was not used to having someone work for her and doing things for her. But she did find the perfect person, a young man, fresh out of college with a passion for art and learning the business.

One Wednesday, as she sat at her desk in her office, her assistant had just gone to his lunch with his boyfriend when a little notification sound went off on her laptop. Putting her coffee down, she swiveled her chair to face her desk, made a few clicks and opened her email. Seeing what caused the notification made her mouth go dry and a lump form in her throat. Eleanor stared at the screen for about three minutes before seeming to find her body again. Her eyes refocused and she clicked on the email from her mother's account. The subject line said, “Just saying 'Hi'” and inside was an attachment.

It took a few moments to muster the finger strength to click the mouse to open the attachment, but when she finally did, it turned out to be an image. A picture. The picture that popped up on her screen instantly brought tears to her eyes. It was a picture she hadn't seen in, well, a long enough time she couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had been. It was of her and her mother at Disney World. They were standing in front of Splash Mountain, after having just come off it, they were both drenched. Face paint was streaked on their faces, her mother having the face of a tiger and little Eleanor's face to look like her mother's little cub. Eleanor was sitting on her mother's shoulders, arms raised up in the air, both wearing their Mouse Ears. As Eleanor stared, another notification popped up, saying that the picture had been saved to her laptop. That's when the tears didn't just well in her eyes, they streamed down her cheeks and she dropped her face in her hands and cried.

She cried for a few minutes, then shut off her computer, tossed it in her laptop bag, grabbed the work she needed, tossed those in as well, then got up from her desk just as her assistant walked in.

“I'm leaving for the day. Anyone who calls, tell them I'll be in contact with them tomorrow.”

Eleanor was usually never rude to people she worked with or for, but today her manners left her and she flew out of her office, out of the building and began power walking home.

Walking into her building, she found Jake at the mailboxes, with a tool kit at his feet, hands on his hips, just staring at the boxes.

She stared at him while he stared at them.

“That's where the mail lives.” she said.

It was now her turn to scare him, because he jumped, said “fuck” under his breath then turned, saw her, and laughed. He took in her work things, “early Friday?”

“Oh. Ya,” she shrugged.

“We all need 'em every now and then,” he said, turning back to the boxes.

“Today is definitely one of them, my wine and Doritos are calling my name.” she shocked herself by saying so much.

“Sounds like a good plan,” he smiled to her. That's when she noticed he had a similar crooked smile like her mother. To which she smiled back, nodded her head then went upstairs to her apartment.

It was around 7pm when there was a knock on her door. For a moment she sat, frozen, on her couch. She paused the show she'd been watching (Will & Grace, her and her mother couldn't get enough of Karen) and stared at the door. Her thoughts going instantly to the email and she felt both terrified and elated for a moment as she ran to her door. When she peeked through the peephole, it was ridiculous how disappointed she was that her mother wasn't standing there. But was shocked, and in a happier way, to see Jake there instead.

Opening the door, she noted the case of beer in his hands, take-out menus on top.

“It didn't sound like you had much of a 'dinner plan' so, I'm here to lend a neighborly hand.”

She couldn't help but laugh at his silly attempt at kindness, he laughed too as she welcomed him in.

Doing the usual “apologize for the mess”, “I'm not unpacked yet” as he waved these off, she walked him into the living room where she gestured for him to make himself at home. And he did, it was amazing how comfortable they both were with each other.

They ended up continuing watching Will & Grace, to her surprise he loved the show, and ordered two large pizzas from Jake's favorite pizza place, he even turned out to be a vegetarian as well and they demolished almost every slice together.

It was almost midnight by the time the laughing stopped and Jake went to his apartment and she curled up and fell asleep on the couch.

And that's how it was over the next couple of weeks. Some nights she'd go to his apartment and he'd cook, other nights he would come to hers and she would cook (order, she wasn't much of a cook, but when at his place, he was teaching her). They'd eat and drink and watch movies together, watching each other's favorites and talking about their lives. He told her about his family, how they weren't really close and that he moved here when he was 19. She told him about her mother and how close they were and why she was here now. Another thing that shocked her, how easy it was to talk about her mother with him, she even told him about the mystery email and picture that she received that day at work.

They discussed everything and truly began to love spending time together. She even got him a piece of canvas art for his Birthday and it was the night of celebrating his Birthday that their relationship grew. When he saw the picture, he kissed her as a thank you, it happened so quick and naturally they actually both stared stunned at each other for a moment, before pretty much diving on each other with intense craving. Eleanor even stayed at his apartment that night.

She woke up from a dead sleep the next morning, smiling, and smiling even bigger when Jake kissed her before heading to the bathroom. Stretching, then sitting up, eyes squeezed shut as she reached her arms up over her head, cracking her back. When she opened her eyes, she screamed and flung herself out of the bed so fast she hit the floor in a thump.

Sitting at the end of the bed, smiling at her, was her mother. But it wasn't the mother she was used to seeing. She still had her crooked smile, but it looked off. Her eyes were blank and her skin was grayed and hair was stringy. And she just sat there, smiling at her daughter.

“What's wrong?!” Jake dashed out of the bathroom, he saw her on the floor and dropped down beside her. When Eleanor looked to him, then back to the bed, she saw it was empty and she got up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, just making it to the toilet to be sick.

Eleanor had excused herself quickly from Jake's, feigning illness, she locked herself in her apartment, got in a hot shower and cried for about 20 minutes.

For the rest of the day, she sat in her bed, avoiding everything until she passed out. Waking up a few hours later, she got herself together and went to Jake's apartment to apologize. They went out for coffee together, and things were fine again.

It continued on like normal for the next few weeks, their relationship ever growing, now telling each other they loved each other, always spending their nights either at her place or his.

A Monday at work progressed like any other, consistently busy and meaningful to her life, until lunch. She went to a favorite deli for a sandwich she seemed to have at least once a week, sandwich in hand she went to find her table near the back. It was occupied though but before she could focus on finding another spot, she really looked at the occupant. There was her mother again. Smiling that crooked smile.

Thankfully the sandwich was in a container because it, along with the book in her other hand, fell to the ground. She quickly scooped them up, avoiding looking around to see who was staring at her, and sat at the table...with her mother. She sat and couldn't look up right away, she just stared at her sandwich and her book until finally, she raised her eyes... Yes, her eyes were blank and cold, but they were still her mother's eyes and tears quickly welled in Eleanor's. So, sitting there with her smiling, dead mother, Eleanor ate her sandwich and read her book, whispering it out loud so her mother could hear.

That week, Eleanor saw her mother every day.

“Something's different about you,” Jake said to her one night.

“Oh?”

“You just seem, I dunno, lighter,” he said with a smile.

She smiled shyly, avoiding his eyes.

“Tell me,” and he poked her in the side, getting her to laugh.

“Ok, ok,” and she quickly turned to face him, propping herself on her legs. “My mother's been visiting me.”

As she beamed her smile at him, his smile wavered.

“What?”

Eleanor told him about her and her mother, how she joined her every day for lunch. All they'd do was sit as she ate and read aloud to her mother. As Eleanor spoke, Jake just watched her, waiting for the joke or her to say “I know it's not real but” except that didn't come. Eleanor kept going over her lunch date details with such excitement that it actually kind of worried him. But, he let her finish and smiled at her when she glowed at him. He kissed her goodnight, she slept with a smile on her face while he hardly slept at all.

It was then that Jake started to notice things though. Apparently Eleanor's mother was upping her visits to not just lunch, because he caught Eleanor talking to empty air way too frequently and one night he couldn't keep ignoring it.

He walked in on her as she was getting undressed after work, as she took off and folded her clothes, she talked. It wasn't normal “talk to yourself” stuff. Eleanor was actually carrying on a conversation, with Jake only hearing one side.

He stayed out in the hallway, baffled, as he just listened until, it went silent for a moment.

“He's probably choosing where to order from.”

Pause.

“Well, no, he cooked most of this week so, it's take-out night.”

Pause.

“Hey!” and she then laughed. “Maybe I like being a little chubbier.” But then her laughter stopped.

“What?”

Pause.

“Don't be silly, why would he be eavesdropping?”

Pause.

“Fine. Ok, fine.”

Pause, then the door opened and she said, “see!” but she opened the door still facing the bedroom, and when she turned and saw him, she said, “oh” and looked back over her shoulder, “you were right.”

Eleanor continued on the night like normal, they ordered their food, two large pizzas.

“No, they're banana peppers.” Eleanor said out of nowhere.

“Huh?” Jake asked.

“Nothing, mom thought they were red peppers.” she said with a simple shrug and that was his straw.

“Hunny, your mother's dead.”

Her smile faltered and she looked at him, “I know.”

“Then who are you talking to?”

“I told you. My mother.”

“Nor...” he mumbled.

“What? Don't “Nor” me, I told you about my mom visiting me,” she said defensively.

“And I'm reminding you, that your mother died.”

She slapped him.

“I know that! But that doesn't mean she's not here!” Eleanor then stormed out of his apartment, slamming both his door and her apartment door behind her. Locking hers and using the chain lock so he couldn't just use his key to get into the apartment.

“Don't be upset.”

Eleanor's temperament eased at the words and she stopped pacing in front of her locked door. “I just don't know what his problem is, mom.”

Her mother walked to her and put a hand on each of her daughter's cheeks, “he just doesn't understand, sweetheart.”

Eleanor sighed.

“He isn't close to his mother like you are.”

They smiled at each other, and hugged. To anyone looking, Eleanor was hugging nothing, but to her, she was filled with warmth from her mother's loving hug.

2 weeks passed with Eleanor not leaving her apartment. She was doing her work from home, getting her assistant to do all her leg work, ignoring the fact that the quality of her reputation was now suffering. And she'd refused Jake's calls and letting him into the apartment. The only thing she ate was delivery. Eleanor spent all this time catching up.

“You have to watch this new movie, mom, you'll love it!”

Jake had been keeping track of her as much as he could. He noted the deliveries and was at least pleased to know she was eating even though she hadn't left her apartment. Every time he went to her door, he would pause and listen and more times than not he could hear her having a conversation or laughing. He would knock every night, she would say “hello” but not open the door. She would say “I love you” but that's it.

He had finally had enough, his nerves were getting to him, so he did the extreme. He bought a huge bouquet of flowers and knocked on Eleanor's door.

“Hi.” she said.

“Hey hunny.”

“What're those for?”

“They're for your mother.”

Eleanor gawked and looked over her shoulder, her mother shrugged to her.

Upon opening the door, Jake was hit with a very strong smell but ignored it.

“For my mother?”

“Ya, I've been rude. I haven't welcomed her.” he put on his best smile as he gazed around the apartment. He instantly felt sick.

It was a mess. Eleanor herself was a mess, too. Her hair was greasy and the tank top she had on was stained. Her eyes looked so different, they looked, off.

“I'll go put these in some water,” Jake said. Eleanor nodded then set off to the living room.

Walking into the kitchen Jake now understood the smell. There were delivery meals for two, only one of each having been eaten. The other sat, rotten, moved around with a fork but uneaten. The empty containers were stacked on the counters, the kitchen table, some fallen to the floor. Some full ones had even fallen to the floor but apparently weren't noticed by Eleanor or her mother.

“What's he doing in there?”

“He's putting your flowers in water,” Eleanor was all smiles, while her mom glared.

“I don't trust him,” she said.

“Why?” she asked in the voice of a child.

“He doesn't want me here, Eleanor.”

Eleanor began to frown.

“He wants you for himself, he wants me to leave.”

Eleanor tried to cheer her mom up, “no no, don't be silly. He loves me, so he'll love you, too.”

Her mother just “tsk”ed and shook her head as Jake came out of the kitchen, Eleanor flung up off the couch and hugged him, tugging him back down to the couch with her.

“Sit, sit,” she ushered.

“Mom,” she turned to her right, “meet Jake. Jake,” she turned to him to her left, “this is mom.” She then leaned back so they could “meet”.

That's when his composure shook however, Eleanor leaned forward again, “what's wrong?” she asked him in a bit of growl.

“Nothing, hunny. It's nice to meet you,” he looked in her mother's direction.

“It's true,” she whispered and scooted herself away from him.

“What's true?” Jake asked.

“What mother said.”

“What did she say, Eleanor?”

She then stood and shouted, “you don't like her! She just came to me and you want her to leave! You want her to leave me!”

Jake stood as well, and very calmly, tried to reason with her. “Nor, what about your work? Your mom knows you have a life you need to get back to.”

“You have to be able to share me with my mother!” she screamed.

Reaching for her arms, “I am, Nor, I know.”

“NO YOU DON'T! NO YOU DON'T!” She screamed and wailed. Turning to her mother, “you were right!”

Her mother nodded to her, her crooked smile back, and this calmed Eleanor. She turned to Jake, shook his arms free and walked to her door, opened and held it open for him.

“I need to speak to my mother, I'll discuss everything. Come over for breakfast tomorrow, ok?”

“Why don't I stay, I can help.”

“No, no,” she smiled to him, “please, she'll listen to me.”

He reluctantly left. But he couldn't help but text her all night, and to his surprise, she responded each time. He was worried though and hating himself while he did so, he called the hospital. He made an appointment for tomorrow at 11am.

So, the next morning, instead of him going up to her place, Eleanor surprised him by being in his kitchen and what was even more surprising, she was making pancakes.

“Since when do you cook?” he lightly teased, kissing her on the back of the head. Her hair washed and shiny.

“I had forgotten my mother's homemade recipe, we used to make them all the time.” And that was the only mention of her mother that morning.

When he told her he had an appointment, she quickly hopped up to help with the dishes. “I'm going back home, Jake, just for a few days. The people who bought my mother's house found some things they thought I should go through.” It was said so easily, he really didn't know how to respond, so he just asked if they could talk more about it later, she agreed, they kissed goodbye and left his apartment together.

“I'm having second thoughts.”

The doctor, patted his shoulder, “this is just a visit right now, whatever has to happen will be figured out later. Right now, it's just a visit.” This was about the 4^th time the doctor had reasurred Jake with this, and it worked. Together, they went up to Eleanor's apartment.

He knocked, but there was no answer.

Entering, they saw her suitcase sitting near the door, her laptop bag next to it, her purse on top of the suitcase. He looked to the key hooks, her car keys weren't there, “she must be getting her van,” he said to the doctor. “Nor,” he called, just in case. No answer.

Together, they walked through the apartment. The doctor making notes, looking around with a very well composed, professional expression. They made there way to the bedroom, the bed was made and her pajamas were unfolded on it, flung after being taken off. Other than that her bedroom was clean, and on the bedside table, was a note written in her handwriting.

My sweet Jake,

I know I agreed to discussing it further, about my going home, but I feel like it's something I needed to do and I also didn't know how to say it to you in person... mother doesn't trust you, hunny, I don't know why but she doesn't.

But don't worry, she's coming with me and I'll use the drive to talk you up. I'll tell her everything about you, tell her everything about you that I love and by the time we get back, she'll love you too, I just know it!

Please don't be angry with her, she's just protective of me. I think she's also nervous to see the house, so, that's probably why she's acting weird. But, by the time we're back, you'll be able to meet the woman she really is and I'll be back to myself, I promise.

I'll call you when we get there, and make sure to give you all the details. I'm actually curious to see what these people found in the house, mom and I were so sure we'd taken care of everything.

Weird, right?

Ok, mom's rushing me, always impatient. I better get going before she decides she's driving (she has never been a good driver, shhh, don't tell her I said that!)

I love you, see you in a few days.

• Your Nor

Jake's mouth had completely dried reading Eleanor's letter, he read it twice before handing it to the doctor.

As the doctor read the letter, Jake left the bedroom, he was about to head back to the living room but noticed the bathroom light was on. As he walked, the doctor spoke to him, “how long has the mother been gone again, Jake?”

But he wasn't listening, he had such a chill down his spine as he walked to the bathroom.

The doctor was about to place the letter back on the table but stopped when he heard Jake scream out, it was such a terrible sound, that had the doctor come running.

There, hunched over the bathtub was Jake, he was screaming incoherently. Inside the tub, was another person. From what he could see, and from how she was described, he took it to be Eleanor. He then noticed there were at least 3 open and emptied pill bottles in the sink and he sighed. He went to the tub to try and get Jake away, so he could see if he had a chance of helping her.

Even just a glance, quickly told the doctor she had been dead at least a few hours. Her skin was blue, there was throw up on her chest with blood in it, her eyes were glazed open, her cheeks were streaked with the tears she must have been crying before dying. Jake then turned to the toilet and violently threw up, when he was done the doctor used all his strength and got Jake to his feet, when Eleanor's hand fell from Jake's something clattered to the floor and on top of something neither of them had noticed before.

Eleanor's van keys hand been what had fallen, and what was on the floor, was a road map. A map that appeared to be drawn on, detailing out a travel route. What was odd, was that there were two different coloured highlighters used. One colour showed a straightforward route. The other colour seemed to show travel destination stops, perhaps detours.