Not your average blind follower.

I was born in a religion where we worshiped one God but since some years, one leader had started taking on a more authoritative role. God was still there, but you couldn’t worship God without worshiping this Man. Basically, he was infallible, above the law and his word was the final one, even if it went against the actual word of God.

Naturally, people talked. No, actually they whispered. Because you didn’t know who was a fanatic believer of this Man and saying the wrong thing to the wrong person would socially ostracize you and publicly declared a heretic.  Instead of peace, threat reigned. It wasn’t a community bound by the goodness of religion. It was a community bound with scared people.

It was a cult. And I was among the few lucky ones who was able to take off the blindfold and see the things for what they actually were. A game of power and money. A game of politics and corruption. A game between power-hungry, greedy people, eager for some power for everyone knows, religion is where the real money is to be made. People can lose faith in politicians and government, but people never lose faith in religion. Control the religion and you control the people.

My religion taught us one thing, which was that we should never question. Just believe everything quietly. If you question, you had a weak faith. It is not your place to question anything. Hence, even the most educated doctors, lawyers and engineers of the community blindly followed what the Man told them to do, even if it was morally or ethically wrong. Luckily, my parents, though not so highly educated thought differently and always raised me to ask questions, whether it was in a classroom or in religious contexts because they believed without questions there cannot be proper understanding.

And so, in a community where people only whispered, they talked openly about me. People called me a heretic and a disbeliever. They called me too ‘modern’ and ‘open minded’ as if that was a bad thing. People talked behind my back and they talked back on my face. They might even agree with me on some points, but lacked the courage to openly agree with me.

My religion said everyone was equal in the eyes of God. But everyone was not equal before the Man. The rich were always given more priority, held in greater esteem, allowed more proximity to the Man. The poor were allowed a mere sight from a far distance. Dinner with The Man would cost you a hefty price of USD $50,000 and above. And that was just the starting price for the invitation. The food, the decor and other arrangements would cost further USD $50,000. And if you would ask these same people for a USD $ 50 donation to a cause outside of the community, they would turn up their noses at you and say they have no money. Even if you asked these people to help a certain community member anonymously, they would reject your offer but donate millions to The Man publicly because that would ensure that their name and donation amount would be mentioned and repeated over and over again and everyone in the community would know how generous they are. I myself became a subject of ridicule and slander when I asked friends and family from the community to come together and donate for Iraqi war orphans. You must be having a hard time imagining someone ridiculing another person for a good deed, right? But yes, that’s what happens in my community if you are actually doing a good deed out of goodness of your heart.

In my community, everything needed approval from the Man and his, for want of a better word, cronies and sidekicks. Even names of children, important family and financial decisions needed his approval. There was even an app which recorded your participation in religious activities so basically you were being tracked. My son was once admitted in a hospital and my mother-in-law waited for The Man’s directive rather than doctor’s diagnosis. And she herself is a doctor. This was the level of submission required from us. And submission was never a part of my DNA. A major heart operation wasn’t decided by the availability of the doctor, rather the time, date, hospital and even the doctor details were provided by The Man. He controlled every aspect of our lives and there was no escape from him.

I was born to roughly lower middle class family. However, I got married to an extremely wealthy family. The men of the family were questioners, the ladies, extremely brainwashed and hard-core believers of the Man. When I was recently married, I was shocked by the difference in treatment I saw both classes receive. My in-laws were able to get away with almost everything (nothing illegal by law, only illegal in the eyes of the Man) because they used to pay the clergy a hefty amount of money. My father would be humiliated for doing the same thing. These differences and many other things created deep resent and hatred for the community elders and especially for the Man. But I was wise. I tried not to let my true feelings show though it was very hard for me to do so. The Man was a very shrewd business man. He would give very powerful sermons and just when he had made everyone emotional he would play on those emotions by telling people they wouldn’t be able to enter heaven if they didn’t believe in him and in his complete authority; the prayers would be meaningless if they didn’t believe in his greatness. Loving God wasn’t enough, in-fact the only way to love God was through him. Being a business student I could clearly see at his prime positioning and marketing skills. It disgusted me to another level to see such dirty tactics in full force in something so pure as religion.

I have deep love and respect for my religion. I don’t have any respect or love for these scammers who are out to scam people in the name of religion and give my religion a bad name.