Prayers and Present

If Annie was being honest, she did not really like what she was doing. Waiting for someone who was doing great in life and probably not familiar anymore while she panics silently where she sits, wearing her one and only decent dress she had been wearing for seven years already and only for very special occasions. But still, she managed to let out a fake joyous “I can't wait” when she was contacted by an unknown number then invited in a dinner by her brother whom she never heard from for the past ten years. 

    Roel was not really his real brother. They were both from an orphanage maintained by nuns called Angels' home, a name they both laughed at. It was probably because they looked so skinny and weird but no one had an interest to adopt them both while they were little, literally growing up in the orphanage until they were teens and as for Annie's case, until she turned eighteen and it became necessary to kick her out. 

    Being together since they were three, there was really no choice but to get along. Growing up, they went through countless punishments by being hit by a stick because of being naughty, together or laughing at the other one suffering. They prayed together as kids so someone would adopt them until they slowly accepted it and gave up, they made each other cry for the shallowest reasons, pulled each others hair and stand up for one another. 

      And though they would cringe at the thought before, the two of them were family and she still thought that as they sat face to face ten years later. Roel hugged her tightly and words were already exchanged but she was afraid hers felt forced. He has changed so much and was doing well just as she strongly believed he would, a successful journalist just like he always wanted to be. When he asked her what she was up to, obviously expecting a good answer, she answered the truth, a housewife. Annie felt terrible for being slightly ashamed but Roel seemed elated by her update. 

     She remembered one of the many nights they stayed up late together, munching on something, sharing earphones, remembering to be quiet so the nuns would not hear, the one time they talked about their future, it was when they were sharing a cigarette in the dirty kitchen, just one of their experimental and foolish acts. 

     “Only three years and we're eighteen. The nuns do not like us very much so it's sure that we're gonna be leaving,” Roel said then passed her the cigarette. 

    “You're gonna do very well of course, I wish I was as smart and productive as you. God has favorites.” she sighed then trapped the cigarette between her lips for a long drag, imitating what she usually sees in a movie. 

    “Well I'm sorry that I am this gifted but I think I know how we can manage by then.” Then he started telling her a plan as if it was already well organized in one of his anime filled notebooks earlier. 

    He said that they could find a small apartment and a part time job together while they study for college, the part where Annie objected, “I don't think college is for me. I think I can find a job that does not require a degree, just to go on. Well, I just really want to be happy.” So it was agreed then that Annie would work full time while Roel will go to college and make them rich. 

       That night, a nun saw them then made them report to the office of the head for possible “sexual and immoral acts” but Annie was able to slept while full of hope. 

       No matter what she might be actually feeling at the moment, shame or happiness or a mix of both or whatever, Annie still loved it when she was asked by Roel to tell him about her husband and daughter. Her smile was genuine when she did so, this time, letting the words and feelings out naturally. 

      Annie was just eighteen, just a week after leaving the orphanage with only a rented room which she was aided to find and pay for by one of the nuns to begin with. Everything seemed to startle her, she felt exposed and alone. But she was already determined that she was going to make it on her own no matter how hard. She was in front of a restaurant for a full twenty minutes, debating with herself whether she should go back home and change her overly casual attire before entering to apply. 

    A man in a waiter uniform came out, someone who looks no older than Annie, heading straight to her. She automatically called herself dumb because she probably looked suspicious already. As expected, the man asked her what she was doing then laughed when she told him her concern about her outfit. He introduced himself as Eric then encouraged her to go on because “No one would even care what you wear” then guiding her through her application until training.

       The two became inseparable, something Annie did not expect and hoped for since Roel left the orphanage three years earlier than her. After four years of their first meeting, Annie and Eric got married, a year later, she gave birth to a girl she named Rona. Since then, Annie has dedicated her life for them both. 

      Roel was also happy as he talks about his work and all the places that he got to travel to, he was unmarried. Annie noticed that his manners and way of speaking does not change at all and as the hour passes, she felt more and more connected to him once again. Then out of nowhere, he blurted out, “I'm sorry.” Annie had to interrupt him as he goes on and on about being sorry for leaving her. 

“I was foolish for being angry. I am sorry, we prayed for it since we were little and I had to try to ruin your happiness. Please don't say anything about it now, everything worked their way out,” she assured him, not for the first time though she knew that he was not going to let this one go so easily. He knew how much she was hurt. 

      Annie did not leave her room for the whole day. She heard the conversations outside very clearly, Roel's new parent will arrive before the day ends to get him. A championship at a national academic contest gained him the interest of a business man who learned that he was an orphan, right away offering him scholarship and a home, everything Roel dreamt of with her. It was not that she did not tried to act happy for him, she even convinced him that it would be so great for him and that missing such opportunity is illegal until she could not control it and her frustration betrayed her. 

      For Annie, it was her future being taken away and knowing that Roel, regardless of his guilt and hesitations to leave her, probably truly wanted what was happening. Staying up awake all night while crying knocked her up until one of the nuns woke her, saying that it has been hours since Roel left and he wanted to give me something. 

      Annie cried hard, failing her plan to be cold the moment he leaves. She was all alone now, that was what her mind chanted as she opened the improvised box Roel left her. 

      It was a gold necklace she had never seen before with a note, “Annie, this is the necklace my mother left me, pawn this so it could help when you need to leave already. I really hate to leave you.”

   “I'm sorry but I pawned that once, I needed a new jeans. But at least I got it back. Thank you, really,” Annie said, referring to the gold necklace that was already in Roel's hand. He was looking at it intently, “I did not expect to see this again, well, I did not expect to see you again either,” he replied with a smile then added, “I was glad right away when I saw you again for the first time earlier because you looked obviously happy. Just like what you've always wanted.” 

     Those last words pulled Annie up from something unknown. She remembered leading the prayer with Roel when they were young and how she always remembered to ask for true happiness. She remembered expressing her indifference over a college degree because all she really wanted was to be happy and she also recalled crying to him as a child after getting punishments from the nuns, complaining that “this place does not give me happiness, only embarrassment.” 

     Her husband and daughter flashed in her mind. Struggles never really leave their family and money is something that they always needed more of but she never really wanted more of that in the first place, she loved maintaining their home, she loved being a wife and a mother, it was her happiness and biggest answered prayer. She called herself a fool once again for not realizing that. 

     With a silent wish that her brother was happy too, Annie replied with a big genuine smile, “Yes, I am very happy indeed.”