Alfie Bett - the well thought out character

Alfie Bett leapt off the extended tree branch effortlessly outstretching his legs perfectly straight like plane wings with his hands above his head. The millions and billions of people in the park below watched with their mouths open as for a moment he blocked out the setting sun and brought time to a standstill before he rolled out upon hitting the ground and completed the spectacle with an emphatic jump to his feet. The trillions of people in the crowd leapt to their feet in a deafening applause.

“And that my friends, is how to do a perfect split leap,” Alfie said into his microphone, looking out at all his students, “You won’t be able to do it that perfectly, but let’s see everyone try.”

The shuffling of billions of people all repositioning themselves to attempt the maneuver was enough noise to send hundreds of startled birds in the adjacent trees on their way. After a few seconds however, everyone was ready. 

“Alright class,” Alfie bellowed to all 7.5 billion of people in attendance today, “On 3. Ready? 1.. 2.. 3!”

And on three the entire world for a split second rose from above the ground, 7.5 billion imperfect split leaps (and 1 flawless one) piercing the air before the weight of the planets population came collectively crashing down on the ground, destabilizing the earth beneath them and swallowing everyone whole.

Alfie shot up from the counter he’d dozed off on, banging his head on the flimsy light fixture above him but it warranted no reaction from a tough guy like him.

He looked around him to see scores of other formally dressed people, all at other counters either being helped or waiting like he was. Alfie sighed, realizing he was still at the Reports center.

He rested his head on his hand dejectedly, thinking about how only moments ago he was a world renowned chef giving lessons to the people who had outcast him in high school and now he was reduced to just reminiscing a false memory. How cruel that day dream could be sometimes.

A sudden hand on Alfie’s back sent him recoiling into his chair shrieking at the top of his lungs clutching his chest like he was protecting precious jewelry.

“I apologize,” the man who had appeared behind him said awkwardly, “didn’t mean to… scare you like that.”

Alfies mind was racing. The intense fear from the jump scare was now made worse by

the sudden social interaction he’d been thrust into. He had terrible social anxiety.

“Nah man, that’s nothing,” Alfie said confidently, one leg now over the other with his back

relaxed deep into his chair, a cigarette nestled between his lips, “Need a light buddy?”

“I wanted to ask if you’d like any further refreshments while you wait sir.” The attendant responded.

“Nam man I’m good, I already told you I don’t drink!” Alfie snapped , putting out his cigarette.

The man eyed the nearly dozens of empty cocktail glasses piling up on Alfie’s counter before looking back at him. Without hesitation, Alfie suddenly jumped on to his counter, belly down, and swat off all the glasses bringing them crashing down like heavy rain before quickly getting back in his seat and readjusting himself. He restored eye contact with the attendant.

“Oookay.” The man said scurrying off.

Alfie muttered under his breath and went back to listening to his music. He began to nod his head to imagine dragons when he spit his drink out.

“What!” Alfie cried looking down at his phone to see Imagine Dragons two and half minutes into Believer. He flung his phone as far away from him as he could and his ear buds even further. He absolutely hated iPhones. Damn near had a phobia of them. Which is saying something given Alfie was scared of nothing.

He began to breathe in and out, repeating over and over in his head You’re okay Alfie, You’re okay. 

It then occurred to him that he had been waiting for a while. He looked around at the other counters to see most of, if not all of, the other people in this establishment being attended to. He looked up at the other side of his counter. There wasn’t anyone or anything there other than a dark hallway that led into a deep black void. 

Alfie tossed his vape into the trash and brought his fist down onto the counter.

“Can I get some service around here goddamnit!” He shouted, wiggling back into his seat. Fortunately Alfie was patient, which was why he wasn’t going to wait a second longer.

He got up and immediately searched for some dumbbells. He loved to weightlift. 

Alfie bopped himself on the head. Focus! He thought, and he put that search on hold and opened up a new one. He needed to find someone who was gonna take his damn - excuse me –  dang! - report. 

Alfie sprinted up to one of the first attendants he saw and shook him by the shoulders, nearly knocking him off balance.

“Attendant attendant!” He cried, tears beginning to build up under his eyes, “I need to submit my report before midnight and my advisor has disappeared! Please help me, oh please!” 

Alfie got down on his knees, tears streaming down his face and ready to beg. If only he could live out his life as the parkour coach he always dreamed of instead of reducing himself to humiliating moments like this. Life was unfair. 

“I’m just a waiter sir.” The attendant said, quickly distancing himself from Alfie. 

Alfalfa Bett got up, which wasn’t a long distance to travel given being on the shorter side, and stroked his beard in deep thought. His eyes narrowed and his lips were sucked in, allowing Alfalfa’s brain to use less compute power on seeing and tasting, and more on thinking. There had to be another way.

“I think I’ll ask that guy’s advisor.” He said out loudly and quietly then slowly walked over, a sense of swagger and confidence exuberating from his posture. He found himself behind a formally dressed man who was deep in conversation with the advisor across.

Alfalfa hurriedly tapped the mans shoulder cutting him off mid sentence. The man looked up at him, potentially upset but most likely not. It was hard to tell.

“I need you to tell your advisor I have a question.” Amelia whispered to the man. She really didn’t want to interrupt so she figured she’d ask the man to do it for her. The man looked at his advisor then back at Amelia.

“Why don’t you ask him, he’s right there.” The man pointed. Amelia looked at the advisor just to entertain the thought, but she’d already made up her mind before the man had even opened up his mouth.

“I’m shy.” Armados whispered. It was a bit odd to see someone so tall acting so timid. Not necessarily because tall people are typically more confident, but more so because tall people are harder to hide. Armados had a really hard time shielding himself from the noticeable gaze of other people because no matter how low he crouched, he was still likely taller than the person next to him. Armados currently was absolutely crouched, but between the minimal cover to hide behind and the fact that there were only 3 people total involved in this conversation, Armados wasn’t able to be very successful. Still, the advisor acted like he hadn’t seen him.

“I think this guy would like to ask you a question.” The man mediated uncomfortably, letting the advisor know what Sheldon wanted. 

Sheldon locked eyes with the advisor but quickly looked away, pretending like he didn’t know him. He didn’t, but he figured he’d pretend anyway. 

“Did you have a question sir.” The advisor said after a period of wasted time had passed. 

“Me? No.” Sheldon piped, not even bothering with eye contact. The truth was he did want to speak to the advisor about something, but he liked to play hard to get. He figured the advisor would be begging to come back to him if he managed to hold off a few seconds longer. Plus he’d forgotten what he needed to say anyway.

The advisor and man went back to talking about whatever useless crap they were talking about, pissing Sheldon off. His plan hadn’t worked. 

“Do you know how I can get a hold of my advisor!” Sheldon butt in for the second time, really emphasizing the last part, “My report is due!” 

The advisor sighed.

“You need to go to your counter to speak to your advisor.” The advisor replied like he was speaking to an elementary school kid. 

“You think I don’t know that!” Sheldon snapped, a wave of panic beginning to make it’s way in. There was no way he was going to be able to submit his report at this rate.

“How do I get a hold of him! He disappeared with my paper hours ago and my report is due!” Sheldon was really feeling the pressure now.

“Every report submitter should have their advisors number. Don’t you have his number.” The advisor was giving Sheldon very obvious advice.

“Of course I have his number you dunce!” Sheldon swiped at his pockets only to feel his heart drop. They were empty. He frantically began patting around his pants, shirt, hair, armpits – anywhere a phone could be but to his devastation there was no luck.

Where on earth was his phone? Sheldon could never be seen without his phone. In fact, his job was specifically related to marketing iPhones and legally he always had to carry one on him. He must have been robbed.

“It was you!” Aladdin cried and stood up tall on his hind legs, his eyes full of rage staring at the man. “This isn’t gonna end well for you.” He roared.

Aladdin pounced the man on all fours, his sharp wolf teeth tearing through the mans clothes like gift wrap on Christmas day, leaving him butt naked but also fortunately for him unscathed. Yea Aladdin was a wolf, but he wasn’t a murderer. 

There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. No phone of his, hell not even a phone of the man’s. Aladdin dropped to his knees and looked up into the heavens defeated. It was over. Midnight had struck and there would be no report to turn in. Of course it didn’t really matter because Buford was a wolf with no understanding of reading, writing, or literature in general, but still.