“The End”, I read as I wrote those words at the end of the 248th page of my first and probably the last book I will ever write. My hands trembled with fear as I slowly shut the lid of my laptop. I moved to the kitchen counter and took the glass of water with my still shaky hands.
“Are you ready?” asked my brother as he walked in from behind. Frankly, I wasn’t. The day I started writing this book, I knew things were going to get worse for us. But, this had to be done anyway. So I nodded my head in agreement and handed him my laptop.
I wasn’t worried whether my book would be published or not, for my brother was the publisher himself. In fact, this book is the reason why he became a publisher in the first place. This book was that a big deal for us.
Our book was not some sort of slander against the government. It was a revelation of all the scandals they had performed against our people. I couldn’t wait to see their cold faces and eyes filled with fear when my book reached all the residents of Mystic Ville.
Mystic Ville is a small abandoned village with its own government. And that gave them the opportunity to break our agreement. An agreement between us and the government. An agreement, in which we promised to not harm each other.
And yet, they're coming after us, to kill us all, one by one. But what could we do? If any of us would reach out to the citizens, they would come up with false accusations against us and the citizens would believe them. So this book was our attempt at secretly spreading the truth to the citizens and also our last hope for justice.
We had done so much for our country and they forgot everything just because of who we were. For them, we even agreed to stay away from the "Normal citizens", as they would say. They used us to come up in the eyes of the public and we didn't say a word or neither were we ever going to.
They knew they could trust us but they just wanted to destroy us anyway. The only advantage they had over us was that people listened to them instead of us and I don't blame the citizens for this at all. After all, the government threatened them that they would be killed by us.
I went to my bedroom and looked around carefully at every object. Somewhere, I knew I was not going to come back soon. Suddenly my eyes shifted to the turquoise photo album on my desk. I picked it up and a photo slipped through the album, down to the floor.
I kneeled down and turned the photo to have a look at it. I couldn't hold back my tears. It was a photo of me and Rachel in front of our college, her hand on my shoulder. All the memories of me and my best friend rushed in my mind. It reminded me of those days, when we had the freedom to be with others.
How Rachel and I had met and how we had become friends, in spite of our differences. How she accepted me and how we clicked this picture to remember that day. Our friendship was as genuine as the smiles we had in that picture.
But one day, everything changed. This was the day, the government broke the agreement that we had between us. Our parents hid us from them but got themselves killed. The people knew our identity but the government had twisted the facts.
They revealed to the entire world that we are VAMPIRES. That we killed people. We fed on their blood. We could harm more people. But that was history. We weren't that anymore. In fact, we were the ones who had helped them kill our own people, those vampires that could actually harm them.
They spoke about us as per the definition of vampires. But were we really? They shot six bullets at each of ours, they had done their homework. They knew how to kill a vampire. But at that time, we only wished they would act as per the definition of a human. We wished if even we would have done our homework and known how we could bring back humanity in them.
"It's done" my brother said, as soon as he teleported himself. "Now we can only wish that the citizens read your book before we get caught and killed", he giggled. But I could sense his fear. It wouldn't take much time for the government to figure out who created this chaos for them.
It is the 5th house on Mel Street. Capture them and shoot quickly.
As vampires, our hearing abilities were more than powerful. We exchanged a wide-eye look and quickly teleported to the next street. But they were there too. We teleported and teleported. But they were everywhere. Again, they had done their homework.
It took us a while to understand what was going on and that's when they got the opportunity to start shooting. Like every other brother, my brother tried protecting me. He hugged me tight and took my bullets too.
Soon, he lay on the floor, blood rushing out of every part of his body. I moved my leg further to kneel down towards him. But a bullet soon passed through my back. And then the bullets just rushed through my hand and my leg and my stomach and my neck.
My vision was blurred. But I could see a man walking towards me with his gun pointed towards my head. "The End" he said dramatically. I closed my eyes in fear, waiting for the sixth bullet. But it was not just one bullet that I heard. The bullets just went on and surprisingly, they weren't passing through me.
So I cautiously opened my eyes and what I saw confused me a little. The officers were shooting the government officials one by one and the citizens were cursing and beating them to death. But when I saw Rachel running towards me and asking me," are you okay?", I realized what had just happened.We were finally getting justice.
Rachel started taking the bullets out of my body and it took its form back again. Perks of being a vampire. "How did this happen?" I asked Rachel in complete astonishment. After all, who can read an entire book in an hour?
" Your brother had planned this" she said, looking at my brother's dead body and again turned towards me to complete," He had already sent us the epilogue of your book a week ago and we had already formed an alliance. But we had an agreement that we would only fire if we saw what you wrote in practical. He did this to only gain our trust. He did this to save you. I'm sorry we couldn't save him" she said, bursting into tears.
I could only look at my brother with my eyes filled with tears. He was a vampire who died to bring back humanity.
We all were together at his funeral, all the humans and all the vampires, united by one thing, humanity.
He left me an inspiration for my next book. And this time, I didn't have to plan how the book would flow or I didn't fall short on words. I just wrote what my heart felt.
But with every chapter proceeding, I only wished for my brother to teleport himself to me when I write "The End".
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7 comments
This was quite riveting, but you lost me at the end there. I don't think it makes much sense for an alliance to have been formed and for all of this to have happened just one week after the brother sent Rachael the book. It's iffy how that connects to Rachael only trusting him after seeing "it" in "practical" (not sure what you mean here?) It just seems like you rushed the end, but the beginning really had me. The government breaking the promise to keep vampires a secret is a great idea. I hope you keep writing!
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I do agree with you that I fessed up with my plot here and there. Trust me, I'm trying to improve at this, and comments like yours really help me further. I really appreciate that you took your time out to give me such valuable advice. Would love to hear from you about my other works! Thank you so so much!
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Critique Circle Comment - so I'm going to be a little brutal, but I hope in a constructive way. And it won't all be brutal. I hope it will be friendly too. First off - oh dear but not all on you, this is on myself too, as we both thought we had a great title for our entries this week - and we chose the same words exactly, and so did quite a few others. So, I'm wishing that I could have thought of something more original, and I think that would have been better for us both. Next, I was intrigued by your build up to the very surprising r...
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First of all, positive critics are always welcome. I know the title was a too common. But I don't know it just went with my plot and so I couldn't think about another title. I'm really happy that you liked the reveal because that was the most important part of the story. And yes, I agree that I lost the plot at few places. About the bullets part, the brother was shooted with 6 bullets whereas the narrator was shooted with 5. And earlier in the story, it was already revealed that a vampire can be killed with only 6 bullets. I hope yo...
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Hi again - yes on re-reading I do get about the six bullets, but I think that it needs to be more obvious so that readers like me don't miss it :D So that it doesn't need explaining and then re-reading to figure it out. Now that I know that, the story is much better.
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Wow that was a wild story, but sent a message nonetheless. It was interesting how they were vampires and you built that up great. My one concern for your work is that I didn’t know the gender of your narrator, but it’s fine if you don’t want to specify. Other than that the ending was well done and shows that if people get together, they can fight against I justice. Cool interpretation of the prompt.
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Thank you so much. I'm really happy that you liked my story!
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