Soul Mates

I could stare at you forever. I still want to hold you tight and never let you go. Your beautiful brown eyes speak to me without you ever saying a word. Even today, as I look at you, I experience the same feelings I did 60 years ago. Sitting comfortably in our living room I can still communicate and enjoy our moments together as I stare at your picture. We still share many memories today. Our house, small and comfortable, is where we shared our life together. Many moments were shared in this particular room and it is now a shrine dedicated to you. Here I spend most of my time looking at all the pictures of you, us and our life together. A time capsule of a wonderful life. We met in our teens and have been together ever since. Young and with a carefree lifestyle, we enjoyed each other’s company. With so much in common and never tiring of each other, we realized we were soul mates. 

 In our 20s we chose to spend our lives together. Then, you were active, outdoing me in any physical activity and keeping one step ahead of me. You were so impressive, and I did everything I could to keep up with you. Physically you were petite, thin and agile and you had a heart of gold. Giving and sharing was second nature to you, and I learned to be the kind man I am today because of your actions. Philanthropy and giving back to our community were always a focal point in our lives. We had very few worries and concerns. No mountain was too high for us to climb and no dream was out of reach. 

In our 30’s we experienced the typical things young couples do – marriage, career, children. The busy life that challenged our relationship did not deter the love we shared. Being successful in everything we attempted was not always the outcome, but we shared these experiences and learned from them. Two beautiful children – Feeding them, clothing them, and giving them all the love we could muster, was our priority. Neglecting our physical health seemed evident as our toned bodies began to sag and our weight seemed to become harder to control. Though concerning, our physical appearance didn’t seem an important component in our busy lives. These years together, the toughest of all, only confirmed our love for each other. Sometimes, concerned we were not strong enough to survive, we always did.

In our 40’s came new challenges in life. Concerns for our future and our children’s futures were always on our minds. Education costs, mortgages and everyday expenditures, monetary and emotional, weighed heavily on us. We both worked hard to ensure our future lives, and those of our children, would be comfortable. We did not forget about our community and its importance to us, but it took a back seat to our own family’s survival. Times were tough in these years, but we took care of each other. We grew as individuals, but more importantly, we grew as a couple.

In our 50s we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. The future looked wonderful. Our children were moving on independently and our hard work over the years would be noticed. Accolades about our hard work and accomplishments were regularly bestowed upon us. Awards, presentations and parties in our honour seemed commonplace in these years. Financially we were now comfortable, and this burden no longer had a place in our lives. Pressures of work and career didn’t seem to be as prevalent anymore as the talk of retiring was our main focus. Clearly, we were slowing down physically as our bodies were aging and becoming tired. But our dreams of spending more time together were coming true. Our service to the community once again became an important part of our lives and we continued to learn and grow in the world around us, even at our age. 

In our 60’s we felt extreme emotional highs and lows. Grandchildren brought us a new joy that we had never felt before. A euphoria of happiness watching our family grow was the emotion of choice. Unfortunately, we also witnessed many losses. Friends and family passing on, many too early in their lives. Death seemed to be all around us during these years. With our bodies slowing down and our health always a concern, our own demise was always on our minds. But we still had each other. Trying to take care of our physical bodies was a task that consumed us, but we never lost sight of other important things. Staying close and sharing happiness with our children and grandchildren was antecedence in our view and kept us wanting to live healthier and longer. 

In our 70’s my worst nightmare came true. You were diagnosed with a serious illness and within a few short years, you were taken from me. Those final days with you brought me more in tune with myself - analyzing and questioning my purpose, my God and the relevance of this world we live in. What was the meaning of life? What was the purpose of us? How would life be without you physically here at my side? I questioned whether I wanted to remain on this earth without you.

Here I sit now, in my 80’s, still enjoying life and the fruits of our labours. Physically I sit alone in our house but really, I am not alone. I have our children and grandchildren to nurture and love. I have friends and family to spend time with. I have a community to continue to grow with. But most importantly, I still have you. Although not physically here with me, I have memories of our life together. I can witness your touch on the world around me everywhere I go. It still brings a large smile to my face and an uplifting feeling in my heart.

I can stare at you forever. Your beautiful brown eyes speak to me without you saying a word. I will always treasure these aphonic conversations we have now. I long to be together again and wait patiently for that time. Until then, I will continue to stare into your eyes and share with you, the memories we had together.