Snow Angels

Stefan closed the door behind him and surveyed the landscape before him through the safety of the split screen glass. For miles and miles as far as the eye could see lay a blanket of snow, largely untouched by footfall or human hand. It was hypnotic, somewhat trance like and somewhere from beyond there was a slight haze of pink and purple casting an almost ethereal light across the landscape. If he didn’t know better he may well have been dreaming. Everything about this place was beyond perfect and that was exactly how he needed things to be in order to make amends with Lucy and win back his family.

The thought of recent events and his part in all of this made him wince in physical pain, things with the young Rebecca had got way out of hand Stefan knew that, he fully accept that and the part in which he played in it. However, this was extreme, even by Lucy’s standards. She had screamed that he wasn’t sorry (untrue) and that he was only sorry he had got caught (unfair). Unable to protest his innocence, he decided that the best course of action was to agree, to accept his fate and work through the fallout.

Part of that was this, suggested by their marriage counsellor Lolita Sorrell, a weekend away, he, Lucy and the girls. Stefan had agreed, glad to get some one on one time with his beloved where they could work out their differences without distraction. Lucy might even look at him this weekend. He would take any established eye contact as a win. The pair had a long way to go but this would be a step in the right direction.

He wasn’t sure about having the girls bought into the equation as at four, three and eighteen months all common sense dictated that childhood bliss did not need to be infused with the experience and the trauma of arguments and fights but Sorrell was insistent that they be present, this was a family situation and therefore needed to be addressed as such. Stefan didn’t agree, he tried again saying that he loved his wife and girls more than life but that he was sure that on this occasion that his parents or his in-laws would take them for the weekend.

           “More than life you say,” Sorrell was almost snarling at this, her deep purple lipstick contrasting her ice white teeth perfectly. “Are you sure?”

Of this Stefan was more than sure. What threw him was Sorrell’s intent behind the question. Her gaze of abject hatred, fixed on him and unmoving was unlike anything he had experienced before – even with Lucy – and she had reason to snarl. Sorrell’s lips were fixed into a hard purple line and Stefan was sure he could feel her burning into his soul. Taking a deep breath he reasoned that this was what female solidarity felt like when stumbling across those that broke the girl code. He almost believed it until he heard Lucy jump to his defence chiming in that she was sure her folks would watch the girls for us if given notice.

Sorrell would hear none of it, she shook an orb on her desk with a force close to violence and said that it was a done deal and she would be in touch before throwing her hands in the air and declaring our session over and sending her paperwork into disarray of purple and of pink.

Neither of them were sure as to what exactly happened there but two days later as Lucy helped baby Erin with her breakfast she came across a very ornate looking envelope of both pinks and purples awaiting her on the kitchen island. She questioned Stefan as to where this had come from and he claimed no prior knowledge. He seemed genuine but these days she had a hard time believing him and found herself grunting in disbelief without thinking.

Inside the envelope there was a brochure for what looked like a very picturesque snow covered holiday resort in a location that neither she nor Stefan had ever heard of. Looking at the snow and the chalets they reckoned upon somewhere in or close to Switzerland though neither were sure. Equally strange was at that precise point four year old Ebony started asking questions about the family holiday and snowmen in the snow – slightly unsettling as she had been upstairs when Lucy had discovered the envelope and no holiday had ever been discussed within earshot of any of the girls as both parents were still hopeful of outside help and being able to travel for the weekend without them.

More unsettling was the fact that along with this brochure were the family tickets and a list of instructions of what needed to be done by whom and exactly when, including the fact that Lucy and Stefan were to travel separately with Stefan arriving first so that he could ATTONE FOR MISDEEDS, organise and set the wheels in motion for Lucy and the girls. Something of an odd request and yet somehow they agreed. The handwriting was so beautiful, it was  

And that was what bought the family here to where they were now. Stefan had no recollection of leaving the house or arriving at the chalet, he had no recollection of meeting anyone along the way or what he had done once he had got here. He knew he liked it here, he knew that Lucy would approve and he knew that everything was set up just so for their little girls even down to their favourite cereals and the hot chocolate that Ava and Ebony (the bigger two) were allowed to drink on special occasions, even down to a replica pink and purple tippy drinking cup, the only type that Erin would use if forced to surrender her beloved bottle. The fridge and the panty were generously overstocked with all sorts of delights. More, much more than was needed for a couple of days even for a small but growing family of five. No expense had been spared and if there was something that had been forgotten then Stefan was yet to find it.

What he was not sure of was exactly how this all got here, what had he done without realising or how every detail was so near perfect. In six and a half years of marriage, minus his recent indiscretions he had always tried but never succeeded in getting everything in order and everything just so. He couldn’t do it then, so how on earth had he done it now, and with no recollection?

He absent-mindedly stroked the lilac fleece between his thumb and forefinger with these questions and more ruminating somewhere within his mind, none of this made any sense, though he was too muddled to find or fear any answer.

There was a knock on the door sending a cacophony of sound into the silence and breaking it into a thousand tiny pieces that echoed in his soul and shook him to the core. What was that? Stefan almost didn’t want to know but found himself moving back towards the door anyway. Outside he found his Lucy standing, looking as confused as he felt and his three little girls smiling up at him expectantly as is the case with all little girls who think that their Daddy can solve the world and all its problems, because that is what Daddy’s do. When you are small and the world is big, this is a universal truth known to all.

Stefan opened the door wider and welcomed them in but instead of acting like a heard of wildebeest full of caffeine, smarties, chocolate and E numbers the girls filed in quietly, helped their Mother with the baby and sat one on the sofa and two on the floor and played amongst themselves as if this was the most natural this world. They were four, three and eighteen months, this was not. He studied Lucy herself seemed… serene and unflustered. Three very small children, travelling to goodness only knows where and on her own without any assistance. Lucy was more than capable of this, they both knew this but serene and unflustered while doing so at this point in time with the girls in tow she was not. This was not normal behaviour, none of this was normal yet he was too entranced by Lucy and all her beauty to question further and to feel uncomfortable.

She was here, with the girls, they were happy and he was taking that as a good sign. He brushed her shoulder and she leaned in for a kiss, a split second on autopilot and a brief reflection of how things used to be but had not been for many months. He responded fleetingly and then came away, the pair confused and Lucy slightly abashed. She entered and Stefan closed the door behind her.

           “You found it OK then,” he smiled. “How was the trip?”

           “I… err yes, we found you. The trip, I actually have no idea. The girls are alright though so we must have been alright.” She blinked in disbelief, “I like what you’ve done to the place.”

           “Come, let me help you with the bags and stuff, and then I have managed to find some of that hot chocolate that everybody likes.” the two looked around and then stared blankly back at each other. There were no bags, not even a baby change bag for Erin and they never went anywhere without that.

At the mention of hot chocolate, Ebony came bounding in with her sisters so close behind her the three nearly tripped each other up. Stefan breathed an almost audible sigh of relief as this was a much more normal order of events and set about finding the kettle.

           “And then,” declared an almost indignant Ebony, “we must go on an explore.”

Lucy tried to reason that it was dark and cold outside and probably just about the right time for little girls to be thinking about bed. Stefan saw it, he saw her mouth open and the words form before she said anything. But no sound came out. Instead, after a pause of several seconds, she reasoned that no one had their coats or gloves and that maybe tomorrow.

Little Ava looked confused and placing her mug on the kitchen island disappeared back into the previous room, dragging her Mother with her and pointing to the heap of winter clothing that was strewn across the sofa.

It hadn’t been there before. Stefan was sure of that.

Nevertheless the family adorned their respective paraphernalia and dutifully bundled out of the door en masse smiling and laughing all the way. It occurred to Stefan some time later that he may have forgotten to lock the door; it also occurred to him that at no point did he recall receiving the keys with which to do so. Any other day this would have worried him but the girls were having fun and Lucy was reaching tentatively for his hand – he squeezed it in return – why spoil a perfect moment?

There was a never ending view of snow and trees, punctuated with picture perfect undulation for good measure. It seemed to Stefan that they had been walking forever and yet going nowhere and achieving nothing. He reached in for Lucy and kissed her briefly, again she responded. He felt a surge of hope and warmth race through him. There was work to do that was for sure, but maybe Sorrell was right, maybe, just maybe this would work after all.

As his mood lifted they reached what seemed to be a clearing and a little enclave of chalets just like theirs, the place was quiet and devoid of any sign of life or human existence with the sole exception being that through one of the doors with the split screen glass Stefan could see the shape of what looked like a family gathered in the kitchen of one of these dwellings.

The other thing that struck him was how beautifully maintained everything was. Outside the doors of most of these properties were exquisitely crafted life size and incredibly life like creations. Ebony called them magic snowmen but in reality they were more like figurines of people and their families carved out of snow and ice. He promised the girls that yes they could have a go at making snow people once they had got up from going to bed in the morning and they ooohed and ahhhed in unison at the pretty fairy lights that adorned the apex and the outside edges of the chalets with their magic snowmen.

Ava in all her excitement reached out to touch the sculpture of a little girl not much bigger than herself and Lucy screamed sending a shiver of ice that made its way into Stefan’s soul. It was a feeling he just could not shake. He opened his mouth to say something but like Lucy before him, words were not forthcoming.

The girls were getting tired and scooping Erin up, Stefan turned in search of a way back, clueless as to where they were or how to get back. He needn’t have worried though as his feet seemed to know the way, difference was this time however everything seemed to be surrounded in a pink and purple haze and as they returned back to base, the apex of the chalet and all outside edges were adored with fairy lights.

           “Just like magic,” Ebony’s eyes were wistful and cloudy.

Lucy squeezed Stefan’s hand and whispered, “I love you.”

           “I love you too… more than life.”

He entered the chalet with the idea of making more hot chocolate for all before bed, something of a peace offering and something of a perfect treat to mark the end of a perfect – all be it incredibly strange – day.

He had no idea that he was the only family member to enter the chalet; he was unaware that although he was still conversing that no one was actually responding or in fact even anything close. Stefan took his time in the kitchen. He wanted everything to be perfect. It was only when he set everything down on the kitchen island and caught the reflection of the steaming cup in the glass before him that he actually took note and he actually saw.

For the first time since Sorrell’s office he felt fully awake. His feet beneath him took on a life of their own and opening the door with brute force he let out a scream that mirrored that of his wife moments earlier. As he stepped foot on the ice before him he heard it crack beneath him but not before he laid his eyes on an icy sculpture of his beautiful Lucy, complete with three perfect little snow angels lying at her feet in the snow before her.

Meanwhile in her office far away, Lolita Sorrell smirked herself into a singular line of purple lipstick and shook the orb amongst the abyss of papers. Her work here was done