The Great Babka Bake-off

It was time again for the Great Babka Bake Off!  Every year in the quiet suburb of New Chilton there would be a local bake-off judged by the owners of Barkin’s Bakery and Pirie’s Pastries. The grand finale would be Babkas from the bakeries themselves!

The families of the two bakeries had been in an unspoken rivalry for years ever since Rachel Barkin had run off with Ethan Pirie. Rumor had it, once they left New York they headed to Florida and had a very nice Kosher Food Truck Business.  Of course, no one really spoke of it...just rumors.

During the days right before Hanukkah, almost every household was filled with the scent of oil heating on the stove to cook something and the scent of bread baking in the oven.  Husbands were forced to try batch after batch of botched Babka as the competition neared.

Meanwhile, at the Bakeries, Barkins was furiously creating the best Rugelach in the known world (which stopped at the corner of 10th and Hyacinth according to most of those living in the neighborhood) while the Piries put together batch after batch of gooey, sticky sweet sufganiyot.  Living in the neighborhood meant you had to buy equally from both bakeries or be banned from buying any delicacy from either or risk missing out on even the simplest mandelbrot!

Old Mrs. Barkin was Malka in her bakery, a true Queen of the dough.  She could tell the dough how high she wanted it to rise...and it would!  Of course, Mr. Pirie was no schmuck with the mixer, he could be kneading the dough in one hand, making the blintz filling with the other, and open the oven door with his left foot.  He was a real Arthur Murry in the kitchen.

On the Eve of the bake-off, the Neighborhood Holiday Beautification Committee for Cultural Awareness brought in a nine-foot by sixteen-foot Menorah covered with blue LED lights to put in the center of the palisades of shops. A huge picker truck backed in and placed it where all could enjoy its glowing, radiant light. A crowd of people “oohed” and “ahhed” as the behemoth Menorah settled into place. All stood around lost in their own thoughts of the miracle that lasted eight days as the crewmen from the truck laid out the cords and plugged the giant in, blasting the whole neighborhood in brilliance. There was thunderous applause as the crowd realized the magnificence of the view, when all of a sudden there was a tremendous crack and a shower of sparks, then darkness.  All of the power had gone out!

Everyone scrambled to pull out their cellphones to navigate their way home, but what would this mean for the Bake Off?   Were the Babkas ready?  What about the Grand Finale? How could Mrs. Barkin and Mr. Pirie finish their masterpieces with no power?

Amid the chaos and chatter, a tiny sound was heard in the back of the shops. What could it be?  It sounded like an old locomotive slowly chugging its way along the tracks.  It was a sound unfamiliar to young urban folk.  As the chugging gained speed, a small light flickered in the Barkin’s Bakery window. As it flickered and grew steady, the crowd was drawn to the small light like moths to a flame.  The chugging grew louder, the lights grew brighter, and the crowd began to chatter excitedly like a group of blue jays.  The bakery had power! There would be at least one Babka to enjoy!

From across the street, the bells on the door of Mr. Pirie’s Pastries jangled as he swung the door open and stood looking in surprise at Barkin’s.  As he took in the view of the only lit store on the strip, his look of surprise turned to understanding, then mellowed to softness. He dusted his powdery hands on his apron and made a bold move.  He strode across the street directly to Mrs. Barkin’s. When he reached the door, he raised his hand to knock, but before he could Mrs. Barkin opened the door with a rolling pin in her hand. For a brief moment, time froze and the crowd could only hold their breath as they wondered if the fist raised or the rolling pin would make contact first.

The air seemed to sizzle, well it actually did because of the strong smell of electric smoke from the blown transformer; but the crowd remained still.

“Miriam, your power is on.”  Mr. Pirie said as he lowered his knocking fist.

“Of course it is, Benjamin. You should know,” replied Mrs. Barkin, setting aside the rolling pin.

“Yes, I remember…”

“And you have no power in your bakery.”

“Sadly, no.”

“That is too bad, “Miriam quietly said, “for I would have no power here if it weren’t for you.”

“It was my wedding gift to Rachel and Ethan long ago.” Benjamin said with a catch in his voice.”

“Yes, and it has been sitting in storage under years of dust since then.”

“'Tis a shame to have something so valuable, never valued.”

“Or to ignore something wonderful right under your nose for so many years because of hurt feelings.”

The crowd could hardly believe what they were hearing. Everyone knew of the feud between the Barkins and the Piries over the many years, through engagements and marriages, births and deaths, Bar Mitzvahs and Bat mitzvahs; and yet here were the two widowed relics of each clan having a very civil and even poignant conversation.

“I should have come to you when Daniel passed,” admitted Benjamin.

“I should have brought schnecken to Rebecca’s shiva,” confessed Miriam.

“Can you forgive me?” Benjamin asked.

“If you will do the same.” Miriam agreed.

The crowd gasped and hugged each other; if they knew each other.

“Please, bring your babka over here to bake, Benjamin. There is no need to leave your babka to dry out.”

“If I am to be honest, Miriam; my babka is second to yours.”

“Oh, Benjamin! How sweet you are!” Miriam cried as she threw her arms around Benjamin and he wrapped his arms around her ample waist.  

And so the Great Babka Bake Off did not go off as planned for the power remained out for eight days! However, the Menorah candles were lit and the sufganiyot were eaten and Barkin’s Bakery merged with Pirie’s Pastries to become “Babka Shamayim” because there was not a better babka on earth!