I had thought that this was what I wanted, a moment to finally prove myself to all who didn't believe in me, but now I see the consequences of what happens if I go that stage and mess it all up.
"Hello, earth to Emily", my friend Chloe said, "Do you ever listen to me".
"Huh?", I hastily reply as we walk through the hallways to our last class of the day.
Chloe and I have been friends since I can remember, though our friendship differs from others. Most people don't really know why we're friends, frankly, I don't either. You see, I'm the struggling drama kid that can't stand up to anyone, and she is an amazing drawer who is too shy to show her work to anyone. She started babbling again so I should probably start listening.
"If the reason your breaking into your nervous habits is because of the show that's coming up, you shouldn't be, your easily the most talented kid in school", Chloe said, and that's when I have to interrupt her.
"You might be right about me being the best actor in the world", I say waiting for her remark, right on cue she scoffs:
"I didn't say all that, but go on if you must"
"As I was saying as you rudely interrupted me", knowing how to get on her nerves is my specialty, "I might be the best actor in the world but like, I'm the least confident person in the world. See, when I auditioned for the lead, I only had to feel the judgment from one person, and doing that was frightening enough. Ms. Bethany, the drama teacher, she isn't one to give second chances out. If I mess this up, I'm never gonna be in a play again, ever. To add to that mess of emotions, I have to perform in front of the whole entire school, and if mess up in front of them, they all know, and I don't need embarrassment to add to my agenda, you get what I mean." I finish. Kinda curious about what her comeback's going to be. Before I could think much about it, she replies:
"I get all that but really, it's all B.S. I know you're good, you know your good, Ms. Bethany for sure knows your good. And those are really the only opinions you should care about, I mean who else really matters. Plus, Ms. Bethany wouldn't cast you if she thought you were going to mess it up, you know how much she cares that all her shows go well"
"Maby you don't have on, but us, the human race, have a social life, you should find some time", I say sarcastically. She ignores my comment and just keeps going:
"Em, if you're not gonna take my advice it's all good, but the play is tomorrow so, your gonna figure something out, but for now, focus on are Algebra test." She says.
LATER THAT DAY
I'm laying in my bed and thinking about what Chloe had told me: "your gonna figure something out". I thought about it for a while but couldn't really think of anything to help the current situation so, I turned to my second best friend: "Google"
As I was scrolling through different blogs, they just kept repeating the phrase "try not to be nervous", like, do they not understand that I'm trying to do that. The next one I clicked on elaborate a little more. It was asking me if everything goes wrong, how would the future change, long term. I thought about it for a while but I got I grouped it all: If everything goes wrong, Ms. Bethany will probably never let me in a play again, I will not be noticed, I won't get to pursue my passion. Then, it asked me how I could prevent everything from going wrong. I mean, I could look at my lines again or I could- that's when I had an idea.
I contacted all of my castmates, and apparently, they were all nervous too! I don't know why or how, maybe it makes me a bad person, but knowing that they're going through the same thing makes me feel so much better. Again, I don't know why, but or the first time since I got this role, I'm ready to put on this play.
AFTER THE PLAY
"IT WAS A SO GOOD EM", Chloe comes screaming. I laugh and say my thank-you, but she-of course-kept talking:
"I mean, how did you do it. This time today you're as nervous as a, actually, I don't know, but you were so freaking nervous", she said.
I thought that it was a comment but she was serious.
"Umm, Well I don't really know, I guess I just figured out that a lot of people were nervous and that helped me? I don't actually know but, I guess it worked out", I say
"Girl, that was better than 'worked out'. It was flat out amazing" she finished.
She really is the world's greatest cheerleader. I talk to my castmates after I and Chloe finish catching up. It's kind of weird talking to people other than chile, and everyone else who was related to me, I kind of feel like I'm betraying Chloe, but that's a problem for another day.
but as I was about to leave the school someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to see a middle-aged person, probably just a parent, I thought to myself. He then introduced himself. He was a college scout!!! He told me that he was interested in me and that we should keep in touch. I guess this whole play-thing worked out after all.
Today was a very productive day. I mean, I overcame my stage-fright, got like ten more friends, and got connected to a college. Now that I'm thinking about it this is probably what I'm gonna be called "a night to remember" ten years from now, ugh saying that makes me feel so old. Today was a good day.
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