Her Anniversary Betrayal

Submitted into Contest #58 in response to: Write about someone who purposefully causes a power outage.... view prompt

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Drama Romance Mystery

Wincing in pain, Elise repositioned herself on the driver’s side of the small rental car she’d picked up for she and her husband, Thomas’, ten-year wedding anniversary dream vacation. The long pad that draped her underwear was heavy, causing added discomfort to the agonizing cramps that held her abdominal muscles hostage. Strangely with each strike and lashing her abdomen endured, her thoughts became more intense and her adrenaline graduated to higher levels. Looking out the window, she focused her attention on the red and yellow leaves that were pushed from the large tree that sat above her. She watched as they all landed on the hood of her car. Normally, something as simple as the array of colors of the autumn leaves and the crisp air that the fall brought would bring Elise to satisfaction but this time, the pleasantries of fall only brought her to an unfamiliar rage. Softly, she smoothed her right hand over the lump that was, just a few days ago, bigger, and full of life. Glancing out the window, she shuttered at the large, old, Victorian home that housed the one woman on the face of the earth that had a supernatural power. A power that was so great that it stole her husband of a full decade away from her. Thoughts of the fateful day crept slowly into her mind, causing her to close her eyes tight and allow the movie to painfully play.

Don’t forget to bring me a postcard! she heard a fellow co-worker call out to her as she blissfully exited Devine Grocery, her part time and most hated job she’s ever had. Okay! She blurted out as the automatic double doors opened. Smiling and nodding at a couple laughing and chatting amongst themselves, she made her way to her car, out of the parking lot, and off to meet the love of her life at home.

A fresh set of tears stung her eyes as the pain in her stomach traveled to her lower back. Sighing, the imaginary movie took its place again, giving her no control over which parts of her life it chose to feature. The most painful, she whispered as she saw her husband, gazing at her while she smiled. His face remained in a solid, stoic type trance.

“Elise… I—"

“Baby, why aren’t you ready to go?” Elise called out happily. “I have the car, now all we have to do is grab our bags and to the mountains we go. Uh! It’s so beautiful this time of year. I can’t wait to—"

“We aren’t going.”

Blinking heavily, a rush enveloped her stomach, much like the morning sickness she’s felt every day since the pregnancy test finally read positive after seven negative tests throughout her entire marriage. “Um, what do you mean we’re not going?”

“I have a baby on the way, Elise.”

Elise smiled and placed her left hand on her stomach while leaning the other hand on the coffee table. “Yes, we have a baby—"

“I’m not talkin’ bout that baby,” he pointed.

Elise frowned. “Thomas, you’re—"

“My baby with my fiancé. Our baby is due any day now and I gotta go and be with—"

“Fiancé? Thomas, you’re not making any sense.”

“Goodbye Elise. I’ll be back to get my things later next week.”

Breathing in as much air as she could, Elise harshly turned as her husband briskly walked past her and towards the door. “So, you’re still with her?!” A whimper escaped her lips as she watched her husband walk out of their home, out of her life, to be with a woman who’s had a hold on him for half their marriage. Marriage counseling was the answer after the first affair but apparently, it didn’t work to keep her marriage intact.

“Yes,” he bluntly answered before nonchalantly walking out of the house.

Following behind Thomas, the cold, brisk air smacked Elise hard in the face as she stood on the porch and watched as her husband slyly jumped in his car and sped away. Numb from the waist down, she gathered as much strength as she could, dragged her feet back inside the house, and snatched the keys off the living room’s key rack to the family’s minivan. Moving as quick as she could, she popped the key in the ignition, threw the gear in reverse, and stomped her numb, tingly right foot on the gas. Her mind was cloudy, so much so that she didn’t remember the old oak tree that stood tall in her yard, until she smacked the back of her minivan hard into it, giving herself a couple of bruises and unintentionally draining the life out of her pregnant belly.

Shaking her head, she pulled herself out of her grim thoughts and folded her arms. Sighing loudly, she opened her eyes to find more cars than before parked in the driveway. Cars she missed as she was stuck in deep thought. More lights glared through the sheer curtains, allowing her access to the gathering that was taking place inside. Another stream of fluid escaped her, and she gasped. Another miscarriage, she hissed.  All the pain those people caused me and they’re in there having a party.  She frowned as the light from the light that sat adjacent to the porch casted a shadow on two women who were rushing out of a SUV, both holding large pink bags with the word BABY plastered on them.  The front door quickly opened, introducing Elise to the voices of those she’s been watching for hours.

 Aww! The crowd in the house sang in unison. Instantly, Elise squinted her eyes as she dropped her head on the top of the steering wheel.  Nausea gripped the pits of her stomach before more of the gush fell. Smacking her lips, the rage was at its strongest now, giving her the umph to move forward with her plan.  The last of the sun had finally settled in for the night, bringing tiny bursts of excitement mixed into large amounts of disgust and hate to the forefront of her mind.  How could he? She gawked internally. After all we’ve been through. Allowing the women to walk in completely, she inhaled deeply before slinging her door open. The car’s open-door buzzer chirped, startling Elise as she wasn’t used to the unique sounds of the rental. Gathering one final breath, she lightly closed the door before making her way through the yard and off into the darkness. Glancing around, she made sure the coast was clear before making her way to the side of the house. Humph, coming here so many times over the past five years actually serves a purpose. The adrenaline was so strong now that she thought she’d pass out from it. Becoming short of breath, she forcefully inhaled the cold, fresh air in hopes that it would cool some of the sweat that formed on the tip of her nose and the nape of her neck. Breathing harder, she licked her lips and peeped around to the front of the house. To her pleasure, the coast was still clear. Now or never Elise. In an instant, she forced her mind to reproduce the images of the videos she’d watched while she was waiting for the doctor to release her after the accident. Fire came to mind first, followed by the accidental video that popped onto her phone about power outages and breakers. That autoplay sure came in handy. Seeing the hand on the video, she inhaled, then exhaled and followed the imaginary orders. Pulling the lever down, her mind exploded with an abundance of satisfaction as the entire house went dark. Yes! Holding her stomach, she ran as fast as she could to her car. Dropping the keys, she yelped in pain as she bent down to retrieve them. Ow, she muttered as she smashed the key fob. The door clicked just as the house door opened. The exhilarating high was unbelievable for Elise, bringing her to what was known by so many as a natural high. Driving quickly down the street, she glanced in the rear-view mirror to see a tall frame, much like her husband’s, standing in the middle of street. The sky was pitch black now, the few streetlights that lined the street was the only light available. Keeping the headlights to a minimum, she used the automatic lights that the car resorted to when they had no instruction from the driver and used them to the best of her ability. Wow! That felt good, she smiled. Smiling for the first time since her heart, mind, body, and soul were destroyed, she worked to slow her breathing down to a normal level. Yeah, put them in the dark for once. They threw me in the dark by destroying me, I can at least turn their power off and ruin something for them. Chuckling, she made a quick stop at the stop sign before turning onto a one-way street. Glancing over at controls, she finally flipped on the headlights. Ugh! She screamed as a small black cat ran in front of the car. Swerving, she forcibly smacked into a large pole, hood first, causing the entire street to go black. Darkness surrounded her and all the houses and structures in the neighborhood. That was the last thing she remembered before entering into mental darkness.

September 06, 2020 05:30

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3 comments

16:04 Sep 13, 2020

The story is good but I would work on the way it is actually written. For example here: "Smiling for the first time since her heart, mind, body, and soul were destroyed." This sounds quite hyperbolic in a way that doesn't work. It also sounds somewhat conventional. Using clichéd phrasing like this means that the Elise's tragedy doesn't feel specific. It makes Elise feel like an abstract concept - someone who was cheated on and miscarried - than a real person. Try focusing more on details, rather then making declarations about how much Elise ...

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Ariadne .
03:44 Sep 16, 2020

The plotline was excellent, though the word choice could use a bit of work. Some of your descriptions make out Elise to be an unnatural being - and makes the story unrealistic and unrelatable. Your writing is good, just fix a few words here and there and you're good to go. Keep writing! You'll get better with practice. Please review my story! Thanks! :)

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Sam W
21:38 Sep 12, 2020

That was so dark in so many ways. You can feel the character’s despair, her precarious state of mind, the fury and feeling of injustice. I loved how well all those things translated into physical results. Well done. I’d check out my word choice, though. I often use unusual words when a more mundane one would do the trick. Justify special words. Eliminate as many as you can, and those who stay will stand out and strengthen your story

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