Progress

The air was filled with the smell of cotton candy and popcorn. The gate was just a few more car lengths away and Clara could barely breathe for the excitement of it. It was the first time she was allowed to go to the carnival without any adults and she was so excited she could barely keep it together. She looked over at Mira, who was bouncing in the seat next to her. A song came on the radio that they knew the lyrics to and they sang along, pouring their excitement out into the world via sound waves and off key exclamations. Clara’s mother rubbed her temples, before reaching for her purse.

               “Alright girls, here is some money. Call me when you are done, and I will send your father to come pick you up. Ok?” the girls nodded, and Clara’s mother handed them each a 20-dollar bill. “Don’t spend it all on junk food” she called after them as they scampered out of the car and disappeared into the crowd. She shook her head and smiled. 

               “Ok, so let's get the tickets first and then hit the rides? I’m dying to get on the zipper!” Clara said as they walked towards the gate.

               “I bet” said Mira, winking at Clara. Clara rolled her eyes and called her friend a perv.

               “ I have a better idea, why waste money on the entrance fee when we can just sneak in? we will still have to pay for ride tickets and food so it's not like they will be losing out on money”

               “How do you suppose we are going to do that?” Clara asked, hands on hips. Mira smiled wickedly and fished two clown masks out of her teddy bear backpack.

               “You have got to be kidding me” replied Clara as she fingered the eye holes on one of the masks. There was something sinister about the way they leered at the world. painted mouths scowling instead of smiling. Clara had a bad feeling but she shoved it down.

       “Where did you even find these ugly things?” The masks were rubbery and old. They looked like something from an old horror movie and Clara shuddered at the thought of putting that thing over her face. She looked at Mira dubiously, but Mira only rolled her eyes and replied.

               “Don’t be such a baby. It's easy, just put this on and follow my lead.” Mira took Clara’s hand and pulled her along, past the gate and around the side of the fence. They waited until they were out of site before pulling on their masks. A few meters down they found the side entrance guarded by a bored looking teenager wearing a grey work suit and eating a pepperoni stick. Mira took the lead and walked right up to him.

               “Excuse me, we are a little late but we’re performing tonight and need to get in.” the teenager eyed them both with a lazy smile. He considered them for a moment before standing up and putting his arms behind his back. He paced back and forth a few times dramatically and then said.

               “At least it's creative.” He looked them over, sat back down at his post and continued. “Just a few pointers, you know for next time. First, research the carnival, we haven’t had clowns in years, second, just the mask doesn’t really cut it. Maybe try some full-on costumes next time, pretend it's an independent show. “he laughed, as Mira took on a petulant stance, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him through her mask. A long pause passed between them and finally he relented.

               “I’ll tell you what,” he said “ I will let you in, but I’m keeping the masks. Fair deal?”

Mira pulled the mask from her face, now red and sweaty from the rubber. She nodded and Clara removed her own mask as well. They handed the masks over, relieved to be free of them. The boy stepped aside and pushed open the side gate. Clara and Mira stepped through and the door shut behind them with an ominous twang.

               “Ok, first things first, we need to get wristbands for the rides.” Clara nodded and ran off towards the ticket booth.

               They rode the zipper and the Starship 4000, Ran through the haunted house, the mirror mansion and the cuckoo’s house. They took turns holding each other’s bags as they rode the tilt-o-whirl, the polar express and the Orbiter. Soon the sky was dark and the lights were bright around them

               “Clara, I gotta pee.” Announced Mira as she took off towards the bathrooms, Clara chased after her but soon Mira had disappeared into the crowd. Annoyed at being abandoned Clara stopped running and walked towards the bathrooms, she figured she might as well do the same since they were taking a break anyway. When she got into the bathroom, she found one stall unoccupied.

               “Mira?” she called but there was no response. After concluding her business, Clara washed her hands and made her way back into the fresh air of the carnival grounds. She looked around for Mira but there was no sign of her. She waited around for a while, hoping that Mira was just playing a trick and that at any moment she would jump out of the darkness just to scare her. After 15 minutes Clara began to get worried.

She went back into the bathroom and called out for Mira, though there were many people Mira was not one of them and Clara’s annoyance doubled. She stalked out of the bathroom, and went out into the cool evening air, calling out Mira’s name as she went. She checked the ride that they had enjoyed, took a loop around the games section, she went through the food pavilion and hurried through the farm animal petting zoo. No sign of Mira.

Now more worried than annoyed Clara went to the ticket booth and asked the attendant for help.

“let me see your ticket” he said, peering down at her through thick foggy glasses.

“I-uh-must have thrown it out, but I have my wristband for the rides, does that help” the attendant rolled his eyes, and made an announcement over the PA. It was muffled and barley audible over the sounds and music of the carnival. Clara waited at the booth, and waited, and waited. Soon the streams of people began to fade and the carnival announced that it would be closing in half an hour. Clara, holding back her tears did another loop around the carnival, checking rides, and games booths, food stalls and even checking the bathrooms again. Mira was gone.

Clara called her home, asking to be picked up. She didn’t say she was alone, hoping that somehow Mira would show up at the last minute. She waited outside the gate watching as car after car pulled up and then pulled away. Soon she spotted her fathers car and she ran to it. Tears streaming down her face. Her father got out of the car and hugged his daughter.

“What’s wrong honey?” he asked as he wiped away her tears.

“Mira is gone, she took off and I couldn’t find her, and I was all alone” she sobbed. Her father hugged her again,

“I knew it was too soon” he said absently as he held his daughter. “it’s ok honey, “he said soothingly.

”Everything will be ok.”

She sat in the front seat as they drove home, calmer now but still lumpy in the throat.

“It’s been a year, Clara” her father said gently “One whole year since Mira disappeared. Don’t you remember? “He spared a quick glance at his daughter before he returned his attention back to the road.

“ I knew it was too soon to let you go back to the carnival, alone and on the anniversary of her disappearance,” he shook his head. “ I don’t know what the therapist was thinking when he suggested this but your mother swears by him.” he sighed heavily. “It just seems cruel to me” he said as an afterthought.

 Clara brought up her knees and hugged them. It was coming back to her now, the night that Mira had disappeared. It had been raining that night, she remembered. The night that Mira had been stolen by the crazy man in the clown mask. Before Security had been introduced and all clowns banned from carnivals forever.

She had been so terrified, her legs moving of their own accord, smashing through cloth walls and flimsy metal frames. Running until she was nearly hit by a car. She remembered the sirens and the flashing lights and shuddered suddenly, cold all over.

“I remember” she said tentatively, and her father reached a hand over to squeeze her arm.

“That's good,” he said, concerned. “That’s progress.”