Incarcerated: the stars, the sky, and the moon.

“It’s time to eat”, I heard a scruffy voice as a dagger of light slit through the darkness in my prison cell. As the light crept through the prison floor, finding its way to my eyes, I got reminded again of my existence. I stood up from my uncomfortable prison bed which was made out of concrete and proceeded outwards. I had lost track of time, it was like I had been lying down for eternity. I felt like I had to learn to use my legs all over again. As I lurched outside, I saw the face of the warden. He didn’t know me and I didn’t know him, yet, in his eyes could be seen complete disdain and hatred for me. He wasn’t wrong to feel this way, I was a pretty high achiever in this not-so-notorious prison. While everyone here was incarcerated for petty crimes like robberies and Ponzi-schemes, I was a celebrity here – I was a murderer!

I got accompanied by the warden to the food court where they left me so that I could peacefully devour the wonderfully cooked and scrumptious prison filth – oh! Sorry, I meant food. The plates and cutlery here were washed as many times as I wash my underwear — that is never. How I wished that eating wasn’t a physiological need but a choice.

After finishing my meal, the wardens returned and accompanied me to the prison yard. This was the time where every person in the prison used to satisfy their social needs, before they were dragged back to their cells. I sat down on my dedicated bench as the sounds of people chattering encircled and laid siege to my ears. This bench wasn’t officially ‘dedicated’ to me but there was a sense of knowing among everyone that this bench only belonged to one person and that no one should wander close to it. It was like an invisible plank was hovering above the bench with the words engraved, “Beware—Murderer.” No one could see it, but everyone knew that it was there.

No one was a friend to me in this prison; the only friends I had were the stars, the sky, and the moon. Every time when I come to the prison yard, I lie back on my personal bench and engulf myself in the world above and that is what I’ll also do today. The sky, the stars, and the moon – so stagnant they are. Every night we see the same sky, yet we never get tired of it. And to this same sky that we see every day – we have attached millions of memories with it. It’s like an enormous hard drive. Everything we do and everything which we hold dear to our hearts seems to get recorded in those shiny and illustrious objects above us.

Looking at the night sky, I get reminded of my eight year old son. I wonder how is he doing? How would his studies be going? Would he have made any new friends? How would he be coping without me and how would his mother have explained this situation to him? Oh, how I miss his plump little red cheeks, his curly brown hair and his kitten-like goofy eyes. Perhaps, the thing which I miss the most are his innocent questions—questions which were meant to be harmless, yet shook the core of your very existence. Once, I remember, Anna was trying to help him complete his school-work but he wasn’t interested in doing so at all so I took him to the balcony with me, so that we could have some good father-son time. He asked me:

“Dad, do you believe in coincidences and luck.”

“No son, I do not.”

We stayed quiet for some time and then he asked me:

“Dad, isn’t the sun bigger than the moon?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Then why do they look the same size?”

I kept a straight face and acted like I hadn't heard him; I had no answer. I was even more perplexed than he was. The moment he got back to doing his school-work, I jumped my laptop to find out why the sun and the moon looked the same size. I found out that the sun was four-hundred times bigger than the moon and that the moon was four-hundred times nearer to the earth than was the sun. That day, I began to think that perhaps coincidences aren’t just ‘coincidences’. I also developed an interest in astrology after that day.

Another memory which I share with the stars is that of my wife, Anna. I got too drunk that night. The only thing I remember is that I blacked out on a sky-scraping hill. It was so high that you felt like you were sitting among the stars. When I woke up, I saw her face. The only thing I would say is worth seeing, except the beautiful night sky. She cared for me, and perhaps I’m only alive because she found me that night. The next year, we returned to the same hill—except this time we were holding hands.

Only the good memories aren’t attached to the night sky. Just like it has the light and dark—so do I! Perhaps, the saddest day of my life and the reason why I am here. It was just an ordinary day for me. My work colleague asked for my car because his car was at the mechanic’s. I had known him for some time and I agreed. That night, I got a call from him. He told me to urgently get to where he was; he told me that my car’s tire got punctured and he urgently needed my help. I went to him and saw him looking at the tire with bemusement. “Go sit in the car, I’ll look for someone nearby from whom I can borrow a jack.”, he told me as he whistled past me. I sat in the car for quite some time, engulfed in my favorite hobby that is getting lost in the infinite night sky. After a while i became a little concerned that he hadn’t returned for some time now. I thought that I should go out to have a look but before I could do so, I heard someone knocking at my car’s door. I slid down the mirrors to find that it wasn’t him but it was the police! “Sir, there has been a murder in the vicinity. There have been reports from neighbors that someone came out of your car and went to this person’s house before he was murdered”, he said with a grieved face. “Could you please step out of the car”, he screamed assertively. I got out of the car immediately as I knew that I had nothing to hide and that it must have been a mistake. The cop opened my dashboard and found a pistol! At that moment, I realized that I was framed.

Time was running low and I had to return to my prison cell soon. I took a last glance at the array of stars and noticed – Libra! Libra is the constellation of divine justice and harmony. Perhaps, it was a sign that justice will be served. As I was dragged back, to the darkness from which I came, by the wardens. I had dull eyes and a lifeless body. My head was stooping lower than it ever had before. The known and the seen had given their judgment—I had placed all my hopes on the unseen and the unknown.