From the ashes

Words: Approximately 2600

FROM THE ASHES

By Elzaan Botha

           They say that in life there is a defying moment. A moment that bends you and breaks you. A moment where you must choose and face the consequences of that choice. I had a choice, and at the time I had thought it to be the right one. But as my feet padded down the dark cobblestone pathway, I knew that in reality there had been no choice.   

#

           White clouds escaped from my lips as my breathing came out in short pants. The rhythmic beating of my heart begged me to hurry; its whispers of desperation banged painfully against my ribcage. My shoes were long forgotten – thrown in a bush somewhere – as I ran. The tight dress I had worn to dinner made it difficult for me to move freely, but I needed to reach Michael. Tears streamed down my face, my fists clenched, and fury pulsed through my vanes as I thought of what had transpired during dinner.

           I had decided that it was time to face my parents. Months of avoiding them and their questions were starting to catch up to me. Given the unexpected news I had received, it was time to confront my father and tell him of my decision. I had hoped that once we discussed the matter like adults, he would realize that my happiness was at stake and that we would rekindle our relationship. But he didn’t see it that way. All father saw was his only child stabbing him in the back, refusing to carry on the business and abandoning the family name. The Axal's had always been one of the most influential families in the mafia. Our family owned land in different countries in Europe, South America, and the US, using them to ship product. My father, Gregory Axal, had always been a proud man; obsessed with his title and what it represented. He was the boss and as the boss's only child I was next in line to take over the business.

           That wasn’t what I had dreamt for myself, though. Even as a little girl I was repulsed by the rules of the 'business' and the cruelty that came with it. I was focused on becoming a doctor and was only in my first year of residency. I wanted to help people. I wanted to travel to Africa and do some good. Perhaps this dream burned so fiercely within me, because of the injustices that came with growing up in the mafia. But in a world like mine, dreams did not revolve around the mundane, it did not involve abandoning our people, and it especially did not involve falling in love with an outsider. Now that was the final straw for my father; when I told him of my relationship with Michael. His broad shoulders heaved in distaste, his knuckles turned their familiar white color, and the brooding anger in his eyes were set ablaze. Glass shattered against the wall. Red streaks streamed down and dripped onto the oak floors as my father's authoritative voice echoed through the dining room.

           But his reaction was not the worst I had expected and that simultaneously surprised and scared me. I had been punished as a child for far less of a transgression. My father had always been a hot-tempered man, so a few broken glasses and curse words weren’t unusual. My suspicion was confirmed when he calmly sat down at the table and smiled at me. A sick feeling made itself at home in my stomach, but I had to be strong. I couldn’t seem weak to him. But when his sadistic smirk lit up on his face and he informed me that he had taken care of the 'problem' already, because he knew I would make the wrong choice, I couldn’t hide the terror in my eyes.

           Now, sprinting down the vacant street trying not to slip on the icy path, I knew that my father's willingness to have dinner with me was just a distraction. He would never accept Michael and he would never let me go. The part of me that was raised to be my father's daughter, was scolding me for my stupidity. I should have seen it coming. It didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was getting to Michael. I wasn’t sure what my father had done to him, but from experience I knew that it wouldn’t be a pretty sight.

           As I rounded the corner, hope settled in my heart. I could see the auto repair shop in the distance and the soft glow of a light from inside. Before I had left for dinner, Michael had kissed me goodbye, wished me good luck, and told me that he would be working late. He loved cars and was a hard worker. He had worked at that repair shop for a few years before the old man, who owned the place, sold it to him at an affordable price. Michael was so excited to build the business up and was already customizing cars for high-end clients. And because of my father, he could lose everything he worked for. I wasn’t going to let that happen. Michael was the first man I ever loved. The first man that really knows me and excepts me for who I am. I couldn’t explain it, but from the first day I met him it felt like our souls were bonded. He was the person I was always meant to find, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I had been hesitant to accept his offer before I spoke to my father. What a mistake that turned out to be.

           I gasped for breath as I stumbled to the front door. The brass handle was cold in my hand as my numb fingers twisted and turned it. Locked. My fists banged on the door in frustration but there was no answer. The frosty breeze blew the loose strands of my hair into my face and I angerly swiped them away.

           "Michael!" I called, peaking into the small window next to the door.

           Pushing myself away from the door I ran down the small steps, almost falling in the process, and hurried to the back entrance. A hand suddenly grabbed my arm, and a scream broke through my chapped lips. My feet kicked and slipped on the icy pavement as I was dragged to the side of the building. Musk and stale tobacco assaulted my senses and I thrashed around trying to get away from the man holding me. My back painfully made contact with a brick wall and my breathing hitched when the stranger stared at me.

           "Derek?" I gaped at my cousin. "What are you doing?"

           Dark eyes glared at me. "I am doing what I was told, Cassandra. Something you seem to need a lesson on." His knuckles were bruised and covered in red splotches.

"Where is he?" My eyes frantically tried to look for Michael, but Derek's tall frame obscured my vision.

           "Forget about him, Cassandra. Did you really think that you could be with him? In our world outsiders get hurt. If he is with you, he will be dead in a matter of minutes. You are tied to this life whether you want it or not. You are like a wildfire, Cassy. And the poor idiot is going to get consumed by it." His words sunk into my flesh, spreading its poison.

           After a few moments of silence, Derek sighed. "Now, come on. Your father wants you home."

The cruel hand of reality seemed to punch through my chest and crush my lungs. I would never again be free. With newfound strength and determination, I slammed my fist into Derek's nose. He crouched over and groaned in pain. Running as fast as I could I headed for the back entrance where the door was open.

           "No, Cassy. Don’t go in there!" Derek's voice echoed.

           I burst through the door and frantically searched for Michael. Finally, my eyes locked in on his location. Tears continued to stream down my face at the sight before me. Between the shelves of tools and oil-stained containers Michael sat, tied up in a chair. From where I was standing, I could see the drops of crimson running down his cheek. His lip was split, and his striking turquoise eyes were bruised. My tired feet attempted to take a step forward, but in a sudden burst of chaos I was flung to the side.

#

           My head throbbed as my eyes finally opened and I winced as I tried to sit up. Pieces of metal were scattered around the room and black fragments rained down on me like confetti. An intense heat swarmed through the room and I hurriedly moved away from the metal garage door that was starting to burn my skin. Fire spread out in the reception area where the bomb had exploded. It had to have been filled with fuel or something, because the flames were growing with a hungered intensity.

           "Cassy." A soft grown called and I got up onto my shaking legs.

           Moving as fast as my bruised body could, I made my way over to Michael. The blast had pushed the chair over. My fingers quickly worked on untying him, rushed by the sound of glass breaking due to the fire.

           "Cassy. You need to get out of here." Michael mumbled, too tired to open his eyes.

           "I'm so sorry." A sob left my body as I worked on freeing him.

           "It's not your fault."

           "But it is. My father did this. O Michael, I am so sorry."

The stubborn knots finally loosened, and I grabbed Michael by the arm. I tried to support his built frame as he got to his feet. He swayed a little before opening his eyes – the right one already swollen shut from Derek's beating.

           "Come on. We-we need to get out of here." I yelled so he could hear me over the roar of the flames.

           Sweat broke out on my brow as we moved to the front entrance. The fire was spreading quickly given the fact that the auto shop was basically made of fuel and oil. All around us glass shattered, shelves fell, and an oil can exploded. I didn’t want to die, not like that, and I couldn’t let my boyfriend die. Everything I had done, the way I handled this relationship, it all led up to that moment. I would save Michael, first from this fire and then I would save him from me.

           Michael held his side, wincing in pain with every step we took. We were almost to the entrance when a creaking sound echoed through the shop. I briefly looked up before Michael pushed us to the side; saving us from being crushed by a wooden beam. The wind was momentarily knocked out of me and I stayed on the floor. Lifting my head up, I could see that our path was blocked. The fire was unstoppable now, growing fiercer by the minute. I cursed the destructive beast and closed my eyes in dread.

           "Hey, come on. We can still make it." Michael wheezed, turning his head to look at me.

           "I am so sorry." The tears were uncontrollable, silently running down my face and dripping off my chin. "I failed you."

A strong hand palmed my cheek, and I opened my eyes.

           "Don’t talk like that, Love. This wasn’t your fault. You have been a victim of your father's cruelty all your life. We knew he wouldn’t accept me so easily."

           "Michael, this is not okay. I-I am not good for you. Everywhere I go I bring chaos and pain. People who get close to me always end up getting hurt. I though this time would be different. I thought that now that I am older, I would be free. You need to go Michael. Leave and don’t look back."

           Michael grabbed my arm and pulled me so that I was sitting up. He gently grabbed the sides of my face and pulled our lips together. All injuries were forgotten as he kissed me with such urgency it made my heart pull.

           "Listen to me Cassy. We are going to get out of here. Don’t think about anything else other than the fact that I love you. I meant it when I told you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He said, coughing between words.

           He dragged me to my feet and leaned against me, his ribs no doubt bruised. My body moved hurriedly as adrenaline coursed through my veins. Heavy smoke filled the room making it hard to see or breath. We found an opening around the large beam and quickly moved forward. Everything was happening so fast.

           "Keep going and don’t stop." Michael yelled.

           Michael moved a shelf, that had toppled over, out of the way and I ran. The whole roof of the building was busy coming down as I unlocked the front door. The door swung open and a chilling scream sounded behind me. Before I could see what was happening Michael pushed me out of the door and we stumbled down the steps. My knees sunk into the muddy snow on the sidewalk as I tried to catch my breath. A loud thump caught my attention and I swung around. Michael lay collapsed on the hard ground. Frantically, I crawled over to him and turned him on his back. I swallowed the bile that raised in my throat as my eyes caught the sight of his left leg. Shallow burns ran from his knee up to his hip. Tears streamed down my face as I realized the burns were not too serious.

           "You are okay." I mumbled, resting my head on his chest.

           His breathing was shallow, and I prayed that he would be alright.

           "Come on, baby. Wake up. We need to get you to a hospital." My voice shook as I tried to find someone who could help us.

           My eyes shut on their own accord as I gipped Michaels hand. My soot-covered hands were shaking as the adrenaline wore off. The slow rise and fall of Michaels chest comforted me and sirens wailed in the distance.

           "Just open your eyes, my Love. I will marry you. I am sorry I didn’t give you an answer when you asked, but the answer is yes. Yes, Michael. Please just wake up."

           His chest rumbled and I jerked upright. His sly smile was plastered on his face as his hand squeezed mine. My uncontrollable laugh echoed through the street. Slowly leaning forward, I placed my trembling lips on his forehead and held him close to me.

           "I love you." He whispered.

           And in that moment, I knew that Derek had it all wrong. It was my love for Michael that burned like a raging fire. This fire would burn down all who wanted to hurt us – destroy cities and wage war. This fire cannot be extinguished or stopped. And, yes, it is dangerous. It could consume those who share this type of love. But it is only once we have been consumed by these flames, that our love will rise from the ashes and grow. This, my defying moment, showed me that you either choke on the ashes, or from it you are reborn.

           "I forgot to tell you." I whispered into his ear and placed his hand on my abdomen. "I found out yesterday. I'm pregnant."