The Wall

Janice gazed into the early morning sky and watched the sun rise. She marveled in the beauty of the cotton candy colored cloud that was above her. Looking off to her right, she saw a gorgeous glowing line on the horizon and watched as the sun made its way through, and then above, the copper colored line.

         Turning, she walked back into her cell. That was how she thought of it – her cell. She grabbed her marker and made another tally mark on the wall. This was how she started every day. She spent a small amount of time gazing at the freedom of the sky, then returned to make another tally mark. Soon she would be free from all of this and there would be no need to make the marks anymore. That was a day that Janice truly looked forward to. 

         She made her way to the little hotplate that sat atop the mini fridge. She grabbed a couple of eggs from the fridge and cracked them into a pan on top of the hotplate. As she cooked, she allowed her mind to wander. She loved to daydream about what she would do when she no longer had to make the marks on the wall. 

         When her meager meal was prepared, she sat at the little round table that would, in a real home, have served to hold a vase of flowers in a foyer. Here, instead, it served as her dining table. She sat carefully on the little chair and placed her plate on the table. Slowly, she ate her eggs and looked around her at the little place that, for now, was home.

         Her abode resembled a cave more than a home. In fact, the only thing that differed it from a cave was the fact that she had electricity, working appliances, and air and heat. Otherwise, you could have definitely called it a cave and been well within your rights to do so. She couldn’t wait until the day that she would finish with the tally marks on the gray stone wall and be able to leave this place forever. The thought of that was all that kept her going. She couldn’t even remember why she was banished to this place anymore, much less why the punishment was such a cruel one. 

         All she knew was that, every week, she woke up to a new round of fresh food and anything else that she might need. Sometimes there was a new book to read, if she was almost done with the current one. Otherwise, no contact and no entertainment. She longed to speak to another person. One time, she thought she heard the deliverer of the food and other items, and she called out. She didn’t receive a response. She rushed to the kitchen, but the person was gone. She knew, though, that they had been there, because there was a new supply of food and a new book.

         Once she had left the name of a book that she wanted on the counter in the kitchen. The next week, the book had appeared in the same place that the note had been. This had been her proof that her captors had some semblance of humanity in them. She had tried requesting different groceries, but that had been ignored. It was the same delivery week after week after week.

         This week, she was being bold in requesting a book by Mary Trump disclosing things about her uncle, the President of the United States Donald Trump. She had never requested anything political, but they had on occasion brought her newspapers so that she could keep up with the things going on in the world. This gave her hope that they would allow her her freedom once the time was done.

         Janice wasn’t exactly sure anymore exactly how many more tally marks were required. She could no longer remember the reason for her sentencing, nor the amount of time required as punishment. She only knew (had a feeling) that her release would be coming soon. This was only supported by the fact that this week’s delivery had included fresh bananas. She rarely received anything fresh. 

         Over the months and years that she had been here, she had asked for several things. She had asked for a radio (denied), porn (allowed in magazine form), weed (denied), alcohol (denied). She had even one time asked for a portable dvd player. That they gave her, with a dvd of historic documentary information. She watched it until she could stand it no longer and threw the entire operation against the gray stone wall, smashing it into thousands of glimmering pieces. 

         Since that incident, she had stuck to mainly asking for certain foods, which she sometimes got and sometimes didn’t. She had found that specifics caused her to get nothing, whereas generalizations occasionally yielded something new. So instead of asking for apples, which she was dying for, she asked for fresh fruit. She rarely got it, but it was such a treat when she did.

         Janice was totally in shock when she received her new delivery. Not only did she get the book that she had requested, she also received a newspaper article announcing that Joe Biden was the new President of the United States. To top all of this off, she was even left two fresh apples. She was in awe! However, her joy was short lived. 

         A few days later, Janice awoke and went out on the stoop as she usually did. She brought an apple with her. While she gazed at the gorgeous, glorious sky, she munched methodically on her apple, savoring every bite. She knew that she didn’t have long to go – only a few more tally marks were required and she would be free to go out into the world. This thought made her both nervous and very excited. 

         She decided right then that she would grab a couple of boxes and begin packing. After all, she would be getting out of here before the next delivery was due. With this thought in mind, she smiled. It was a full, beautiful smile that lit up her entire face. She was still smiling when she went in to mark her tally mark. She screamed when she saw the wall.

         All of the tally marks were gone. The wall was bare. She had to start all over again. Then it all flooded back. The reason that she was here – she had murdered her three month old baby. She had drowned him in the tub. She was doomed to remain in this hellhole forever – alone and forgotten. Along with this knowledge was the knowing that she would forget again. She would begin again. This was purgatory. Here she would survive – alone, forever – for the crime that she had committed against humanity, and then upon herself.