Duhghlaserex, Dread of the Seven Peaks, and King of the Black Waters

Deep in a cave in the Crow Mountains lived a dragon named Doug. Well, his full name was Duhghlaserex, Dread of the Seven Peaks, and King of the Black Waters, but only his mother called him that - when she was angry. 

Doug, like any respectable dragon, had a territory to manage. He reigned over the Crow Mountains and Blue Boulder valley for many centuries, scaring away anyone that came into his domain. But it was a desolate place, and over time, he got lonely, so he relented and let a few creatures settle his lands.

First the faeries came. They set up looms and made silver silk for their trousers and gold thread for their hats. Doug discovered a fondness for shiny things, and in return for half the faeries riches, he cleared boulders from the valley. In his mind, Doug was conquering the old Boulder empire to make way for his new kingdom. 

Other creatures got word that Doug made friends with the faeries. The goblins of mallow swamp grew jealous of their neighbors - with their fancy trousers and hats. It didn’t help that Doug dropped his vanquished foes - the boulders - into the swamp, creating a great nuisance for them. One day, Kuby, the goblin king, climbed the Crow Mountains and found Doug’s cave.

“I come to you, oh mighty Duhghlaserex, King of the Seven Peaks, and Lord of–-.”

“Call me Doug,” said Doug.

“Okay, well, mighty Doug. I offer my lands of mallow swamp and two-thirds of all the faerie’s gold and silver, if you allow us to settle in your valley.”

“And what of the faeries? ” Doug said.

A smile came to Kuby’s green wrinkly face. “They can have the swamp.”

Smoke billowed from Doug’s nose as he contemplated the exchange.

Kuby waited on the decision for nearly three hours. Not a long time for a dragon, but long enough to make a goblin's legs ache. “May I sit?” Kuby said.

“No,” said Doug. “I must speak with my advisor.”

Doug twisted his thick black neck around. Behind him, a large rock sat in a golden cage. Doug ‘captured’ it to serve his court, mistaking the rock as the boulder emperor.

“What do you think?” Doug said. “Do you oppose this goblin’s treaty?”

The rock, as rocks tend to do, said nothing.

“I accept your counsel, my wise friend.” Doug said. “Very well goblin, I’ll chase away the faeries.”

Doug wasted little time. That night, he took to the skies and shot fire at the faerie's homes. “Flee! Fly, run to the swamp. For I am the father of these lands and it is time for you to leave.” Doug swooped down and captured Aurali, the Queen of faeries - to serve alongside the boulder emperor as a faithful advisor.

With the faeries gone, it didn’t take long for Doug to figure out that Kuby and his kin knew nothing of spinning silver and gold. And once the faerie’s stockpiles were spent, there was nothing to give.

“Flee! Fly, run away," roared Doug. "You goblins give me two-thirds of nothing and I am tired of your lies.” 

Most of the goblins got away, except for Kuby who was bequeathed the title of court advisor.

The rest of the goblins went north and with a stroke of luck; they found a plentiful food source - a group of monkey-like creatures that walked on two feet. It turned out the monkeys did not like to be eaten, so they ran to the valley. 

The bipedal monkey’s became a problem for Doug. They kept making smaller monkeys and tearing down trees and digging holes in his dirt. Doug took to the skies and shot fire at them. But they shot arrows back and gave him ouchies. Doug retreated to his cave and stayed there for a few centuries to nurse his wounds. But his anger did not settle.

“How do I get rid of this plague?” Doug said.

“Torch the humans,” Kuby shouted. “Let the goblins serve you again.”

“Violence is not the answer,” Aurali said. “It’s not getting rid of the humans that you seek. You yearn for the past, when you were a young and fearsome dragon.”

Doug snorted out smoke. Aurali gave the worst advice, but he increasingly followed it. He suspected some devious faerie magic. “I’m still lord of these lands,” he said. “And all must fear me.” He stretched his wings and grunted. Not for a display of might, but from sore hips, though only Aurali could tell.

“That’s right you are!” Kuby said. “Go make them sizzle.”

“There are children, and many innocent hearts that do not deserve it. You know that,” Aurali said 

Doug collapsed on his belly, needing a little breather. He thought for a long while, before turning to his most trusted advisor.

“My oldest and most faithful servant,” he said to the rock. “You always know what is right. Tell me, should I let the humans stay?”

Ever wise, the rock stayed silent.

“So you’ve had enough too. Very well. I’ll deal with these humans today.”

“No,” said Aurali. “Nothing good will come of this. What of the knights?”

“Day, night, it doesn’t matter, I will show them—”

“No. The knights. The humans with swords and bows. You can’t take them all on yourself.”

Doug lifted his head and bore his foot-long teeth. He wished for flame to shoot out of his gaping maw, but only a few sparks and a cloud thick gray smoke came. 

“Let them come,” he said, after a cough. “And if any knight dares to stand in my way, I will torch them on sight.”

***

“I vow to be a knight,” shouted a thirteen-year-old Percy McMillan.

This declaration caused a great ruckus at the McMillan family table. Percy’s mother spat water and dropped a scoop of mashed turnips on the floor. His father smacked the table, Uncle Lance howled with laughter and Brunor, the family dog, howled along with him.

“You donna want to be no knight,” said Percy’s father. He held up the fingers on his right hand, showing a pinky, a thumb, and three nubs. “This could be you.” 

“Oi,” said uncle Lance. “You crushed yer hand under a millstone. You never been a thousand feet nigh a goblin or dragon.”

“That donna matter none,” Percy’s father said. “The boy’s as thin as a blade and as sickly as a geezer.” He rubbed his orange beard and looked sternly at Percy. “You get that nonsense out yer noggin.”

“If the boy wanna be a knight, then three cheers to Sir Percy,” Uncle Lance said, thrusting up his cup of ale.

“Don’t be interfering with my kin and kind,” said Percy’s father.

“He’s my kin and kind too,” said Uncle Lance. His smile disappeared. “And you coddle em. It’s time he—” 

“Might be it’s high time for you to get outta my house!” Percy’s father stood. 

“Sit down Harold,” shouted Percy’s mother. Harold sat. “This ain’t about either of you.” She gave Percy a tender look. “My boy. Why you wanna be a knight?”

Percy’s head was fixed on a book in his lap - “A Knight’s Tale: The Whole World Through My Visor. By Sir Ector of the Narrows.” On the bottom of the open page it read. “A knight must shout their vows before their family” In Percy’s excitement, he did not turn the page, where it continued “... of brothers and sisters in the chivalric order of knighthood.”

“I wanna see the world,” Percy said. It was partially the truth. Though he left out his fancies of battles and riches and beautiful maidens, which was thoroughly outlined in the first five chapters of Sir Ector’s book. He didn’t tell his mother those parts.

“Aye, in me squiring days, I saw many a strange land and stranger lassies eh,” uncle Lance said with a wink.

“Tottle off,” Percy’s father said. “You was a squire for the Thane of Plenty Plains. You saw nadda but wheat fields and bumpkins.”

“Better thanna being a miller and getting round and sour like your dough,” said Uncle Lance.

Percy’s father grew red in the face and stood again. Percy’s mother let out an exasperated “Sit!” and Harold sat. “Remember what your ma used ta say,” she said. “A heart’s wish can move mountains and tame dragons.”

“And old geezers tale. There aint no such thing as dragons.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Uncle Lance giggled. “Our pa used to say you donna need to climb no mountains when you have…” 

“...hills to roam at home,” Percy’s father joined in. The two brothers laughed and bashed mugs. 

“May I be excused,” Percy said.

“Oi, Percy. You be going through a spell,” Percy’s father said. “You’re too young my lad. Give it a year anna then we’ll talk.”

“Aye, it’s wise council by yer Pa,” Uncle Lance said. “If you still wanna be a knight next year, I canna train ya. Got my old armor and sword in my attic waiting for you.”

“Sir Ector was a squire at twelve!” Percy said. “It’s not a spell, and I’m not waiting a year.” 

With his second outburst of the night, Percy left the table and ran to his room.

*** 

“A man does not choose to be a knight,” Percy read Sir Ector’s words aloud in his bedroom. “A knight is called from within the man.” 

“It’s so true,” Percy said. ‘This is my calling.“

Brunor leapt up on the bed and gave a little yelp, which Percy interpreted as agreement. In actuality, Brunor was desperately wanting to play outside.

“If I wait a year, it will be the same, Dad will tell me to wait another year. Like last year when I wanted to join the circus. Always wait a year. Until when? I die? No, not this time. I’ve been called.”

“A knight!” came Percy’s father’s voice from the kitchen. “Oi that boy’s head is higher than the heavens.”

Percy tossed his book on his dresser and leapt off the bed. “I’ll show him,” he said. And he jammed open his window and crept outside.

Brunor, overjoyed at this opportunity, jumped out with him, and followed Percy all the way across the street, to Uncle Lance’s attic. 

***

“It’s not stealing,” Percy said, in response to Brunor’s protest.

Brunor had caught his reflection in a framed mirror in the corner of the attic, and thought it was a very threatening cocker spaniel, so he barked at it.

“I am borrowing it, for a little while. Once I gain my fortune, I will send it back. Along with gold for uncle Lance and for mom and dad too. Imagine their faces.”

Percy put on the chain mail. It draped over his fingers and hung well past his feet. He felt triumphant and lifted the sword, but he couldn’t get it past his waist. The sword slipped out of his fingers and crashed to the ground.

“What am I doing?” Percy said. He caught his own discouraged face in the mirror. He nearly took off the mail, but he saw a sheathed dagger behind the mirror. Percy took the blade out and lifted it with ease above his head. “Brunor, you are my witness. I vow to be a knight!” he said. “And no one will stand in my way.”

***

Doug, full of giddy anticipation, took to the skies toward the human village. His advisors slowed him somewhat. The boulder emperor was strapped to his belly and Kuby was riding atop him. Aurali could fly, but she was curiously absent.

“Where’s my faerie queen?” Doug said.

“Better she’s not here,” Kuby said. “Her advice is the worst.”

“It really is, isn’t it?” Doug said, “I don’t know why I keep listening to her.”

“Faerie magic, sire. They are tricky creatures.”

“Indeed. Remind me to fire her when we get back.”

“Yes, my king, set that faerie on fire.”

“What? No. I mean I’ll let her go. Great-winged-mother you are bloodthirsty.”

Kuby was about to make his case for torching Aurali, when a glimmer below caught his eye. “Look below. A knight comes!”

“He’s a bit small.” Doug said. 

“Get him! Before he sees us.”

Doug slowed, and his giddiness faded. It didn’t feel right to harm such a pitiful-looking creature. He hovered high in the air for a moment before seeking his trusted council 

“Wise emperor of the boulders. Do you think that small monkey really is a knight?”

“Forget what the rock says,” Kuby shouted. “Show your might.”

“Yes, you are right. For I am Lord of these lands and all must fear me!”

Doug swooped down and sent sparks and smoke raining down on his enemy.

The little knight shrieked and ran for cover under a tree.

“He does not fight back. He fears me! Kuby look. He is trembling. How glorious.”

“Torch him, torch him,” Kuby said.

“No. I want to look into this trembling knight’s eyes and have a little chat.”

***

Percy was seriously regretting his decision to be a knight as the dragon landed next to him. He found some nerve and withdrew his blade. “Get back dragon. I’m not afraid to use this,” he said, slashing the air with his dagger.

The dragon roared. It sounded like a hundred fierce lions. Percy dropped the dagger and hugged the tree. “Help!” he cried.

“First off, call me Doug.” Doug said. “And secondly, calm down. I want to talk.”

“You can talk?” Percy said.

“He can breathe fire too!” a wrinkly green goblin atop the dragon said.

“Quiet Kuby,” Doug said. “Tell me, little knight. What caused you such fear. Was it my fire, or the way I spread my wings and cast a shadow over you, or—”

“All of it. And I’m no knight. I thought I wanted to be, but I’m nothing like Sir Ector.” Percy began to cry.

“Alright, alright. Stop crying.”

“I wanted to see the world.” Percy said through sobs. “I haven’t gone a mile from my house and I’ve seen enough. Please don’t kill me.”

“I see. No I won’t kill you. In fact, well, I could help you.”

“What? No, my Lord,” Kuby said. “We are supposed to be—”

“Kuby, I said quiet!” Doug’s voice sounded like a thousand lions and a great plume of fire shot from his mouth into the sky. Kuby shook. 

“Move.” Doug said. “Sit with the emperor.” 

Kuby leapt off the saddle and strapped himself to Doug’s belly.

Doug lowered his body. “Come then, little knight. I will show you the whole world.”

***

The pair flew in the skies for much of the evening. From the forest in the west to the marshes in the east and everything in between. Percy was certain he fell asleep back in his bedroom and would soon wake from Brunor licking his face. He hoped Brunor would wait a little while.

“What do you think?” Doug said, as they soared over the Crow Mountains.

“This is the best day of life. You’re so awesome,” Percy said. 

“I am? Yes I am. Listen, young knight. Have you ever thought of being an advisor to a dragon king?”

“Not till this moment. But now it’s all I want.” Percy let out a sigh. “But I should wait until next year, when I’m older.”

“That is wise. You’ll make a great advisor. Next year we—”

Thwap

An arrow shot into Doug’s side. “Owe, ouchie!” he cried. 

“Doug!” Percy gripped tight to the reins as Doug jerked in the air.

Percy saw the bowman below. Oh no. Uncle Lance let another arrow loose. It whizzed by his head.

“Don’t shoot!” Percy said. “Doug is nice.”

“Percy? How? Whatta? Huh?” Uncle Lance said.

From the tree line behind uncle Lance, came Percy’s mother and father. 

“You know these cretins? Is the large round one the leader?” Doug said.

“Percy Harold McMillain! You get off that dragon," his mother said.

“Son, I will save you,” his father shouted. He took the bow from uncle Lance. He had some trouble, given his nubs, and he shot the arrow into the ground.

“Get them my king,” Kuby said. “They hurt you, you must hurt them back.”

“No, please, they’re my family,” Percy said. But Doug did not listen. The ouchie made him blind with rage. He locked onto the McMillans and gathered fire in his belly. 

“You insolent humans. It is time I rid my lands of your presence. For I am the father of these lands and—”

A dark shadow cast over Percy and Doug from overhead. 

“And I am your mother,” came a booming voice above. “Duhghlaserex, Dread of the Seven Peaks, and King of the Black Waters what do you think you’re doing?

“Mother?” Doug sounded more like a kitten than a lion.

Doug’s mother flew to Doug’s side, trailed by a faerie. “Aurali told me everything, and I am very disappointed in you.”

“Mother, I’m a king, and these humans do not fear me.”

“Then reign as a king, not as a tyrant. You don’t need to be feared, you need to be respected. You know that.” 

“Yes,” Aurali said. “He knows that.”

“It’s not my fault! It was Kuby and the Boulder emperor. They’re bad advisors.”

Doug’s mother gave him a smack on the rump with her wing. “What did I teach you? Never blame others for your actions. You are grounded, Duhghlaserex. Now let that boy down and get back to your cave. We’ll talk later.”

“Yes mom,” Doug said.

Doug landed, and a very shaken Percy leapt off and ran to his parents and gave them both the biggest hug that any boy could give.