Diary of an Insomniac

03/10/2020

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry, that just sounds stupid. Maybe I'll just call you a journal. Diary just feels too childish for me personally. I don't know. 

My cousin stated I should write about myself and what's going on around me. "It's cathartic." Was her explanation for shoving this faux leather journal in my hands. Apparently, she had a shelf just full of all kinds of journals and decided I should fill one. "Who knows, you might like it. You like writing." Well, she's not wrong there. I actually used to write about my life all the time. I even had one of those diaries (yes, I said Diary.) When I was a kid. A white one with a heart-shaped padlock and two small keys. It came with knick-knacks to decorate it, so I covered it with little satin hearts that were like tiny pillows, fake gems, and glitter. I can't remember if there was anything else on it, but I loved it and recorded most of the adventures of my childhood. Well, I guess I can start over. And I haven't been able to fall asleep at my usual bedtime, so I suppose I can do this and see if I tire myself out. I try to get to bed between 9:45 and 10:30 since I tend to be an early riser and do better when I get to sleep before 11. I've been busy at work. Retail, yay. Rumor has it that with COVID-19 in the states now that will be changing. We'll have to see what happens. It's 1:30 in the morning, and I think this is going to be helpful, I feel ready to go to sleep!

~ CAL

03/11/2020

Okay, here I am at 10 pm, not able to sleep. I went to bed at 8:45ish. About an hour or so early, but I wanted a good night's sleep and was tired enough, I thought I'd fall asleep fast. No such luck. So I'm writing again. I decided not to use a moniker to start these entries. Just start writing and get it out. Kinda stream of consciousness, I guess.

Here is a bit about me. I'm 22, slightly taller than five feet, and have brown hair. I'm working for the Big Red Bullseye. And should probably state that my name is Clair at least once. I've been working at The Big Red Bullseye for a few years while I study and build my blog audience. I wanted to make money to go to school, and they have pretty flexible hours. I was homeschooled, so flexibility is a pretty desirable trait. Especially since I'm pursuing a Bachelor's in English through an online distance learning program. And rooming with my cousins. Our little Rocky Mountain town is a desirable tourist location, and if you're students like us, it's better to have roommates and cousins make pretty good ones. At least mine do since we're on good terms. I'm sure there are other's who would say they wouldn't want cousins as roommates.

Yeah, so that's me. My cousin, who gave me this journal, studied Early Childhood Development, and is student teaching to finish her teaching credentials. Our cousin Trina works as a dental assistant. She is trying to decide if she wants to be a dentist. Personally, I think she'll stay as a dental assistant. She loves it. I'm gonna finish for the night. I wanna watch an episode of my space opera before I fall asleep. So much for going to bed on time.

~ CAL

 03/13/2020

I decided to add more structure to my writing, so I went on social media and found journal entry ideas. Might as well if I'm not tired at 10 at night. The one I'm using tonight is 'your earliest memory.' Mine is when I was maybe three? And we lived in a townhome by a golf course. I have loved reading for as long as I can remember, and that night I was ready for bed. I had collected a book, my blankie, favorite plush huskie, and proceeded to go upstairs to the bedroom. It felt like it took forever to get up the stairs. I was so proud of myself. I sat my collection of things down and began to stretch my back. I guess I leaned back a little too much or was off balance on my blanket that ended up under my foot. Regardless, I went tumbling down the stairs. It wasn't bad. I was just a little banged up and pretty shaken. My parents, of course, came to see what the banging was that led to me crying. Where were they before that? I don't know. How was our house set up that I had to climb the stairs with my books? I don't know. I should state that my parents are great, were involved in my life (still are), and taught me good safety habits. This was just one of those instances where the kid gets into something and learns a lesson from the school of hard knocks.

~ CAL 

03/14/2020

Hey! It's so crazy. And no, I'm not talking about the fact that I read a book on personality typing until midnight, and now I'm doing a journal entry. I have been teaching a preschool class on Friday mornings for a homeschool Co-Op. I ran some of the usual errands when I finished, then I got back to the house and walked my dog a gift from my dad when I was 17. A golden named Buttercup. I did some cleaning around our condo, then Amy got home and said a COVID-19 case was confirmed in our county. Three are suspected and awaiting confirmation. It started in China, I heard some about it when it was beginning to explode, and then I heard about cases in America. Then things in California, Washington, and New York got pretty terrible. I heard they closed schools and Disney Land! Now it's here. Not surprising since we have a thriving tourist season pretty much year-round and the local university has so many students that they double our city's population. This is going to be interesting. 

~ CAL

03/16/2020

Monday. I just read all weekend. A high fantasy book about a human girl raised by Fae, and has an enemies to lovers relationship with a Fae prince. The rest of the weekend was interesting. Amy had us go stock up on food on Saturday. It's spring break, and she's going to stay out of downtown this week. It was insane! I drove us all in my car. It took driving around the parking lot for almost 20 minutes before I could get a spot, while some people were not polite and nearly caused accidents. Then, all the paper towels and toilet paper were gone. What is happening to the world!?

I was looking at my social media. I'm part of a group for readers, and a couple of people said their libraries were closing for a month. It made me curious, so I went and got all of the books that I own but haven't read yet. I have 26. If I have to stay home or our public library closes, I'll be ready. I also have a bunch on my e-reader I haven't read and, I think a couple of audiobooks from my subscription service. And that app that lets you get e-books and audiobooks from the library.

On the upside, I shared the link to my social media account, where I post about books, causing my followers to reach 110 from 63! I also slept pretty well this weekend! 11:30 bedtime instead of 1:30!

~ CAL

03/17/2020

Happy St. Patricks day! The public library announced on their social media that they won't be opening until an undermined date. I had some books that I didn't return when I went to work last night, and they said to keep those because the book drops are locked. I wonder how the community outreach office they just opened will operate during this. They are a support system for those in need. 

Okay, now a new journaling prompt. This time I chose 'what are the small things that make you happy?' Walking my dog. It's just relaxing to go out and spend time outdoors with a furry friend. Looking at flowers would be another. The colors are appealing and calming. Knitting, reading, music, and spending time with my 'Tea and Harp Club.' More on that later, though. I just finished some chamomile tea, and I'm ready to sleep at 11 instead of two in the morning!

~ CAL

03/20/2020

It's a jungle out there, Monk! I only had three shifts this week, and won't be teaching tomorrow. Our last three Fridays of the school year got canceled. But it's insane at the Big Red Bullseye. People are stocking up on prepared and canned foods, and getting upset that we are out of TP. I'm part of the guest service team. The employees who interact with guests the most. And that makes us the face of the company, which makes us the ones people decide to yell at.  

I like to be up by six or seven. Insomnia is making that hard. It's 1 am now, and I have to get up at six to be opening cashier at 7:30! I better get to sleep. Maybe I will fall asleep quickly since I read and now journaled instead of being on my phone or streaming a show.

03/22/2020

Okay, the school board has extended spring break while they decide where to go from here. Amy will still be helping create online lesson plans if they have to, which is looking highly likely. And they will be using a video conferencing and chat app to meet as a class once a week and a handful of kids daily to rotate through all the students once a week to check on them. It's cool.

I started filming myself reading picture books for the kids in my preschool class and friends who have kids. It's nothing fancy. I don't have video editing programs, but it's decent audio, and they can see the pictures. 

I finally started using the sketchbook I got in September! I drew an anatomically correct heart. Then the logo of one of my favorite cartoon superheroes from my childhood. An uppercase D with a P inside it. I should watch it again to figure out why I liked it. I read a few fanfictions based on it. Those were fun to read. Though it did take some looking to find ones that had been thought out. A lot of fanfictions are like that. I'm not expecting the same quality as a book I get in the store; however, some of the writing is so garbled you can't follow what's going on, and it's not cohesive at all. And I found fanfics that had absolutely no punctuation. And why am I still up!? It's 12:30 am now!

03/24/2020

If our community follows the pattern I've seen in the news, we'll probably 'shelter in place' soon. My favorite local book store is having people call and tell them what book they want. They will deliver in town, and people out of town can have their book mailed for a dollar. The local pet store I buy Buttercup's food at is having people call in their orders so they can pick them up from the curb. They also have a groomer and a doggy day camp, and in the email message they sent, they stated that those services will still be offered, but you have to wait at the door for them to come to get your dog. I use a different local groomer though, she's a friend of mine, and Buttercup just had her appointment a couple of weeks ago. I don't mind if she gets a little shaggy looking. I did buy an extra bag of food to be sure I didn't have to worry about that for a time. I am glad these local businesses are finding creative ways to still offer their services in these crazy times.  

03/28/2020

My cousin Trina has been staying home for a week. Her dental office will only be seeing people for emergencies, so I guess she's kind of on-call. She will be going in to do paperwork once a week. My mom is working remotely. She works on campus for Teachers From Our Troops. They communicate with people via email and phone calls, so the head honcho told her boss they all need to work from home. He had been out sick, but not with COVID-19, and her boss was still having them there in the office even though everyone else was gone.

I've been playing the piano more. I took lessons for about ten years as a kid, now I play for fun, but I hadn't been doing it much for the last few months. I also knit a dishcloth while I called my friend Spencer. He's self-quarantining, so we chat on my days off. I'm only working Mon, Wed, Fri, and I keep my hair back and put my uniform in a bag and wash when I get home. I also do vitamins C, D, and Zink, and drink a lot of water (sip every few minutes) and tea. I read that helps because if COVID-19 gets in your throat, it will go to your stomach and die in the acids instead of going to your lungs. It helps that I love tea and already drink a consistent amount of water. Spencer is a YouTuber, so he works from home. He reviews books and movies, and I think he's planning on uploading more frequently and finishing the third draft of his novel. His agent is confident this is the last draft. Spencer is part of the 'Tea and Harp Club.' We made a new friend almost a year ago, and in January we hung-out at the local teahouse. Then my friend Jasmine joined. We all know each other from a young adult group we go to where I met Jas and Spencer a couple of years ago, and Jason, last year just before summer, got started. I hiked with Spencer and Jason (after which we got tea). Then all four of us met at the library and listened to another gal from our group play her harp for a live music program the week after. When Jasmine wanted to do it again over the weekend, Jason quipped that we were the 'tea and harp cub.' We're all going to video chat tomorrow!

03/29/2020

Well, it's official. We are to shelter in place. I still have to go to work, though. They built these plastic barriers, to help protect the cashiers working with guests, and gave us wipes for the pin pads and our stations. Our community is also being helpful and only coming into the store if they have to. I've been helping the online order team a lot. They have been busy. And we wipe down our belts and box-cutters at the end of each shift before putting them away. Hopefully, this will help me not bring COVID-19 home to my cousins. They wouldn't appreciate that.

~ CAL

04/01/2020

Happy April 1rst! No April Fools this year, though. Two friends did do harmless joke posts on social media, but most were like, 'can we unplug 2020 and restart it, lol!' And that we should cancel April Fools as no prank could outdo what is going on in the real world right now. I'm not much of a prankster, so I don't usually participate anyway. I do like a good pun!

I've been trying to see if I can switch to working for a book store, but the one I applied to a month ago is probably going to be on a hiring freeze for a while. So, hopefully, at the end of this month, we'll see what happens. If not, the new craft store is supposed to open next month, so if COVID-19 doesn't affect that, we'll see. Jason is a construction worker, and they're an essential business apparently.

In other news, I had a couple of nights of insomnia again but listened to audiobooks instead of journaling. Other than that, I've been sleeping better. I guess what started as a way to help my brain wind down so I could sleep has become a bit of a way to capture a unique time in modern history, with a focus on my little piece of it. I'm wondering what the future is going to look like. I saw an article stating, 'Los Angeles, notorious for heavy air pollution, is having its third week of clean air.' I didn't look closely at it, and I'm probably paraphrasing the title, but I can see how a lot of people staying in for a few weeks could positively impact the environment. If it's long-lasting is another question altogether. I also hope this helps people become more involved in their community. Local businesses will need support when this is done, I think. And hopefully, my sleep continues improving!

~CAL