Jack and Jill

Jack was in sixth grade this year.  He lived next door to Jill, who was in the fifth grade.  When they were barely beyond infants, they became best buddies for life.  They made plans to get married and have two boys and a girl when they graduated high school.  They were such best friends, they didn’t care much about making friends with the other kids at school.  Their parents didn’t make much of it, although they probably should have.  They had the attitude, don’t fix it if it isn’t broken.  Jack and Jill walked to Emerson Grade School together every day, and did their homework together every night after supper.  

“I wish we were in the same grade,” Jill said that October day on the way to school.

“Are they hassling you again? Who?” Jack asked, puffing his chest and putting his fists up.

“No one.  I just get lonely sometimes.  Yesterday, we were supposed to get a partner to do a biology experiment in class and no one wanted to work with me. I realized I really don’t know anyone else but you.” 

Jack put his hands in his pockets, “I would have been your partner if I could have,” Jack tried to soothe her but it only made her cry.  He put his arm around her.

“I know Jack. But you’re not in my class and you couldn’t be my partner and I am so miserable. I ended up being partnered with the teacher.  I was odd man out.  It was terrible.”

“Were they mean to you?”

“They sang the song Jack.  Under their breath.  Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.”

“Not so original is it?  Morons.”

Todd, a stout boy who stood at least a head over Jack, and Mike, his sidekick, cut them off before they made it to the door of Emerson that morning.   

“Hold up freaks,” Todd stepped right in front of Jill and she bumped right into him.  He laughed.  Mike laughed whenever Todd did.

Jack caught Jill as she bounced off Todd, but Mike came up behind him and put him in a headlock. Jack struggled to break the hold, and Todd took the opportunity to push Jill, who fell on her hands and knees.  She cried more because she was sick of being pushed around than that it actually hurt all that much.  Jack broke free and knelt next to Jill.

“I’ll get those stupid jerks,” Jack whispered in her ear. Then he stood up and said, “Don’t you ever touch her again”

“Oh yeah?  Who’s gonna stop me? You?  You’re nothing but a turd,” Todd laughed again and Mike tried kicking the back of Jack’s knees, but this time, Jill saw it coming and blocked that kick with her science book.  

“You bitch!  Dang!  Todd, did you see what that bitch did?”

“You two haven’t seen anything yet. It’s your season, Freak season,” Todd got right up in Jack’s face.

“Time to get scared, real scared, Freaks,” Mike taunted, pushing Jack again, who caught himself before falling.

Jack turned, fixed his gaze on Mike, and said, “Damn straight jerk-off.  Halloween is our season and it is time to get scared alright.  But it's you that better get scared toilet face.”

“Oooh.  You’re so scary,” Mike said, backing away.

“Come on Jack.  Let’s get to homeroom! We’re late!” Jill pulled at his arm.

“You’ll have worse problems than being late to homeroom Jill.  Just wait until tonight,” Todd taunted her as she took Jack’s hand and pulled him to the other side of the heavy school door.

Each of them went to their classrooms, Jack to sixth grade and Jill to fifth. All through Social Studies class, Todd stared at Jill.  At recess, Mike led a group of his friends in a round of that stupid nursery rhyme again.  Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack told Jill to think about the Halloween party instead of those jerks.  Jill worried anyway. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

Emerson held a Halloween party each year for its students and their families.  Years ago the school started the party as an alternative to trick or treating in the neighborhoods.  Instead of the kids going door to door, the neighbors came to the county fair grounds to hand out treats at booths and attractions, like the annual haunted house.  This kept the kids safer and brought the community together to really celebrate.  

When school finally let out, Jack and Jill walked home together.  

“I can’t wait to see all the costumes tonight!”  Jill said.

“Everyone will love our costumes.  I think we are the coolest couple in school.”

“Oh, do you really think so? I’m afraid people will make fun of me. I am such a dork. I don’t think I’m scary at all.”

“We are gonna be the most awesomest tonight.  We will be scary as helloween!” they both laughed and bumped shoulders as they walked.

Jack was Michael Myers from Halloween and Jill was Freddy Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street.  

“I’m afraid of our costumes Jack,” Jill said looking at herself in the mirror.

“Check these out,” Jack said, opening his closet door and revealing two stuffed dummies, about the same size as Jack and Jill and wearing the very same costumes.

Jill jumped and squealed but not too much.  “What the heck are those Jack?  Oh my gosh, when did you even have time?  What are we gonna do with them?”

“Jill, Jill, Jill….   I have a plan.  You’re gonna love it. I got some old sheets and some fluffy stuff and newspaper.  Then I just needed to get double costumes. Since my mom was sewing them, I told her we might need an alternate in case of accidents and she sewed them, no problem,” he smiled. “Now, here’s the plan…,” he told her in her ear as she listened carefully and alternately smiled and gasped.

“Are you sure?  I mean, Jack, will it work?”

Jack showed her that he had put wheels from one of his trucks on both figures and they both stood upright with a piece of rebar up the center.  

“I got the rebar from the road construction project on Maple Street.  They will never notice.”

“What the heck is rebar?”

“Uh. A metal rod. It somehow holds the road together I think.  I saw a pile of them laying there and thought it would be perfect and it worked.”

Jack and Jill pushed the figures out behind Jack’s garage.  Of course the parents thought the outfits were scary but pretty much adorable because they were both so small.  They would be chaperones at the party but Jill and Jack wanted to go to the party on their own.  No one went with their parents.  After all they were now eleven and twelve years old.  That is surely old enough to get to a Halloween party without your parents.

When Jack and Jill arrived at the party, the first person they saw was Todd, of course.  He was dressed up like a lumberjack with a pretty realistic looking ax.  Good thing Jill had razor hands and Jack had a huge butcher knife.  

Mike showed up with a stupid spider man costume.  Jack said, “Look, he bought that thing at like the Walmart of something.  Now who’s the dork?” Jill giggled, which looked really funny because she looked like Freddy.

Todd was trying to shoot a star out of a piece of paper.  People’s parents were running the games so they weren’t as  hard as when you go to a real carnival.  Todd won a small stuffed rabbit.  He threw it to Mike who threw it into a basket meant for a ball at the booth next door.  He hit the basket and that dad, who seemed pretty impressed, gave him a Frankenstein keychain for his efforts.  Jill was pretty sure it must be Mike’s dad running the basketball booth because the shot wasn’t all that impressive.

No one initially recognized the pair with their masks on so they played games undisturbed.  Jack won Jill a stuffed octopus and Jill scored a couple of goldfish.  The big event was the haunted house.  It was always super scary and you had to be in the seventh grade to be a haunt, so next year Jack would have his chance.

As soon as they went in the door, they heard a chainsaw.  It was pitch black but for a little red dot in front of them.  They had to follow that dot, but the masks made it hard, so they took their masks off, planning to put them back on when they came back out.  A window lit up and they saw a man in an electric chair being fried.  Jill screamed and nearly jumped on Jack’s back.  He laughed at her but she was actually scared so she slapped him on the head.  While he was ducking from her slap, a skeleton fell out of a closet into their path and jangled its teeth at them.  They snaked through the house past a graveyard and a morgue, a vampire and a zombie.  Just when they thought it was over and they saw the exit sign, Freddy Kruger jumped out from behind the wall and grabbed at them on the way out.  Jill primal screamed. She grabbed Jack and threw him in front of her, directly out the door. Jack fell down the exit stairs and Jill came tumbling after. 

Because of that scream, everyone looked to see what happened and, since Jack and Jill had removed their masks, they were fully exposed, worst of all to Todd and Mike. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They sang it over and over like it was a curse.

“Pussies!  Look at you!  Not so tough and scary now!” Todd teased.

Todd must have been friends with the kid playing Freddy in the haunted house, because he came out and said, “Will the real Freddy Kruger please stand up!” and then laughed and pointed at them.  Everyone was laughing.  Todd and Mike were throwing popcorn and candy corn at them.  Then all the kids joined it, throwing candy and little donuts and whatever they could get their hands on.  Then Mike pitched a pail of water at them and, that was the final straw, the final humiliation.  Jill started to cry.

Jack walked right up to Todd and said, “I challenge you to a test of fear and bravery.  You in?”

“What do I get if I win?”

“Jill and I will do whatever you say for the rest of the year if you win.  If we win, you will leave us alone for the rest of our lives.”

“Anything I want?”

“Anything.”

Todd thought about it for a minute and said, “What’s the challenge.  I can think of a lot of orders I can give you two.”

“Kettle Hill cemetery.  We will go up the hill and you can take the south end.  Whoever lasts the night wins.”

“Mike too?”

“I’m out Todd.  I can’t stay out.  My parents will kill me,” Mike said before Todd even finished saying his name.

“Are you shitting me you freakin wuss?”

“Seriously,” he answered as his parents walked over from where they were running the funnel cake booth.

“I don’t think any of you kids should spend the night in a cemetery, but I can tell you this:  Mike will not participate.”

Mike hung his head.  

Jack and Jills parents were busy inside the haunted house, running the lights and stuff, so they didn’t hear and couldn’t object.  Todd’s parents didn’t seem to be around at all.  Everyone else was waiting to hear Todd’s answer.

“You’re on.”

“Alright!”  Jack said.  “Jill, text your parents that you are going to a slumber party and you will be home in the morning.  I’ll do the same.”  They both sent the texts knowing their parents wouldn’t get those texts until the haunted house shut down at the end of the night, which would be too late to say no..

The cemetery went from Kettle Hill, down a slope to Vine Road.  At the top of the hill, there was a dropoff into a ravine underneath and a river ran through with an old bridge that had been closed years ago.  Jack and Jill placed the dummies Jack made behind some trees at the edge of the hill and waited for the party to end.  They had collected a lot of candy and they nibbled fruit flavored candies and little Kit Kats and Snickers while they waited.

“This stuff is brain food Jill.”

“Pretty sure that’s not true Jack, but ok.”

Then they saw Todd.  He waved up from the lower part of the cemetery.  It looked like he had a sleeping bag with him, which was kinda smart they thought.  They should have brought sleeping bags or at least blankets.

It got really dark in that cemetery after all the festivities died down, but a full moon gave it a strange glow, or at least that’s how they saw it.  They carefully put the dummies in front of them so that it just looked like two people, and stood them up near one of the gravestones.  It read, Todd Jenkins, Sr., Beloved Husband and Father.

“Hey Jack, that’s Todd’s name.”

“Weird.  Huh.  Todd isn’t dead.  Not yet at least,” he laughed and Jill shrugged and laughed with him.

With the dummies placed up there, so Todd could see them, Jack and Jill slipped behind the hill and snuck behind where Todd was camped out.  They peeked out from behind one of the gravestones and saw him looking all around and eating a bag of chips.  Jack tossed a rock at the stone next to where Todd sat.  It bounced off that stone and Todd jumped straight up into the air and spilled his chips. He started walking the perimeter, slow and low, like you might see in the movies.

“Jeez, that was easy,” Jack said.

Jill had a little triangle and she gave it a couple taps.  Todd whipped around to see where it came from and at that same time, Jack rustled up some bushes and made some little sickly barking sounds.  The wind had picked up a little and helped them out by making creepy whistling sounds in the trees.

Todd looked up to where the dummies sat and looked back toward the trees and bushes.  He got out a little flashlight and pointed it where they were.  Todd couldn’t see clearly but he could see movement and he dropped the flashlight and tripped on a headstone and fell down.

Jack and Jill slipped away and went back up the backside of that hill.  They could see Todd, with his flashlight, looking into the trees and bushes so they hid behind the dummies until he looked back up to the top of the hill.  When he did, Jack and Jill pushed both of the dummies over the cliff and into the ravine.  They seemed to fall in slow motion, in a full moon spotlight.  Then they stood and stared at Todd.  They started walking toward him and he panicked.  He ran around the back of the hill and up to the top, trying to avoid his pursuers by hiding.  Jack and Jill were pretty sure he was gonna give up at that point and they would win the challenge, but Todd went all the way to the top of the hill and looked over the side at the bodies now laying next to the banks of that river.  

Todd sat down and didn’t move again.

Jack and Jill snuck back up the hill to see what he was doing up there.  They hid behind the trees at the edge of the cemetery and carefully peaked.  Todd had to be close to giving up.

They heard sobbing.  They looked at each other and couldn’t believe that Todd was crying.  Not just crying a little bit but really wailing and retching.

Since neither Jill or Jack were really monsters, they looked at each other and nodded, then approached Todd.

“Hey.  You ok?” Jack said.

“Huh?  Wha?  What the hell?” Todd screamed.  He looked down the hill at the bodies and then back at Jack and then Jill. “How?  What happened?  I thought…”

“How come you’re crying like a baby Todd? Did you pee your pants or something?” Jill did her best to be a bully.

“I thought you both were dead.”

“Uh why’d you think that?” Jack asked,

“Ya know what?  I’m glad you aren’t dead.  But, this grave belongs to my dad.”

“Your dad died?”

“A couple years ago already.  He lives here now.”

“I’m so sorry Todd,” Jill said.

“Me too.  How come you aren’t dead? Who is down there?  Should we get the cops?”

“Naw.  They’re dummies.  We wanted to fool you and I guess we did.”

“So who wins the challenge?” Todd asked.

“How about we try to get along from now on,” Jill said.

“Mike might not like it.”

“Mike will do whatever you say.”

“Yeah, your right.”

“I really am so sorry about your dad, Todd.”

“I can almost hear him.  He loved Halloween.  I hear him laughing.”

Jill said, “Hey guys, It's only 9:30. We can all make curfew.

They laughed and walked home together, arm in arm.