With You

I wish you could see me this year. I look amazing. I must have checked myself in this mirror half a dozen times already. I can’t believe it. My skin is just the perfect shade of pale. I am, however, left with the harder decision of which party I am attending. On one hand, the jocks are throwing a killer kegger at Dylan’s, but Sam’s party are always a wild rave-like ride. And let’s be honest, Sam is hot. Like H-O-T, leave your boyfriend hot. Speaking of which, it’s odd I haven’t seen Max in days. I thought for sure he’d show up at some point. Are you guys done? Whatever, he’s old news anyway. So we're going to Sam’s right?

You look stunning, a little thinner than I remember though. Are you eating? You better not have developed anorexia without me. Jelly for sure. I see your dad is just as awkward as ever. What was that this morning? Seriously? You just lost your best friend, of course your grades are shit. Your mom’s great though right? She's practically perfect these days. My parents have gone off the deep end. Divorce on the horizon. I'm guessing dad will start sleeping with that cute little secretary of his and mom's on track for prozac and boxed wine. They're total cliches. But my sister is turning into whore, so that's at least entertaining.

Ugh. I can’t wait. It’s HALLOWEEN bitch! For the last 7 years, it’s been me, you, and Katie, turned up, turned loose on the neighborhood. Remember two years ago when we made that fake vomit and left it all over Amanda’s porch? She literally retched and cried little black streaks. Totally worth the effort. 

Is this from Billie’s new album? I love her. She's so dark. Here let me turn it up. 

Oh shit. Sorry. That was kind of creepy. Am I here? Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?

Are those goosebumps? You’re so dramatic. Really.

It's time to get ready. Quit stalling. Wow, is that your costume? You look amazing. I told you the “Naughty Nun” was the right choice this year. That habit is sick. Boots, go with the boots. The heels are just overkill. 

Why aren’t you smiling? Come on, cheer up. We are going to rock this party. 

No no no. Please don’t start crying. I'm sorry. You'll ruin your makeup.

Answer the phone, it's about to ring. It’s going to be ok. I promise. 

Sure I'll give you a minute.

***

No, you’re not late. Most of the seniors haven’t even arrived. Take a deep breath. You can do this. You will do this. I’m with you. I'm always with you.

Wow, Sam… are those fangs for me? Yummy. I wonder what would happen if I just licked the side of his neck? I can’t resist. 

Ha! Did you see him jump back like someone shocked him? What a riot. Tonight is going to be fun. Just point me in the direction of anyone you want to get back at. This year the scare is on! Just you and me. Maybe we can get back at those fake ass cheerleaders who continue to leave those ridiculous candles at my locker.

Yea it is sad Katie moved. She's fine. Don’t think about it. Tonight’s Halloween! Let the fun begin!

***

He is totally into you. Do you see the way he keeps smiling? He's falling over himself to get your attention. He has gotten cuter over the last year or so. Remember how geeky he was? Ugh those braces too. But once they came off, wow right? Of course being on the track team hasn’t hurt him either. You can just see the lean muscle beneath that shit cowboy costume. Toy Story or not, he looks hot tonight. 

Are you drinking that swill? It looks disgusting. I don’t know why they always go with that slime ass green. Shouldn’t you slow down a bit? You don’t want to puke, or worse. 

Hey, wait. What was that? Did you just take that? Come on Dani, you don’t take shit from Sam. We know this, YOU know this. That crap is poison. No telling what reject he bought it from. Might not even be real. 

***

Hey, hey - are you okay? You’re stumbling. Who is this guy you’re dancing with? Jesus, he’s a little forward. Shit. 

That’s right guy. Step back, you cold? You feel a little weird? Get the fuck off my friend. 

Wait, wait Dani slow down. Easy. 

That’s good, just throw it all up. You’ll feel better. God! Will those people ever stop knocking? It’s not like Sam doesn’t have three bathrooms. It’s all good girl. Just rinse your mouth.

Where are you going? Put down the cup. You don’t need anything else to drink. Just go dance. 

You like dancing. 

Hey freak she’s not on the menu! I keep running interference. Am I ruining your fun? IS this fun? You don’t seem to be having a good time. You can barely stand up. Is that a joint? Which degenerate did you get that from? Come on, you’re killing me. Yes, that is funny. 

Can we just go home? I’m not having a good time anymore. You keep ignoring me. Did I do something wrong?

Did Margot just see me? I think she did. She looks petrified. Ha, she said something. I’m not replying. She needs to drink less too. In the morning you and I must have a serious talk, not like intervention level, but babe, this side of you ain’t pretty. 

Can you get home? It’s cold out. Grab your coat. You should let someone walk you home. It’s late. OMG, can you just listen for a minute? Call your mom, she’ll understand. No? Did you just tell me No? Wait…

Dani, it’s really dark out here. Beautiful though right? Look at all the leaves, the lights on the porches. It is quieter out here. You ok? You look tired but a bit more sober. 

I love the moon. It’s so pretty. Remember when we used to lay on your trampoline and just watch the clouds pass over it? When did we stop doing that? Eighth grade? I guess we got too cool for it. I miss it though. 

Stay up here. The road is dangerous. Where are you going? No really. Where are you going? What are you doing? Dani! Where’d you go? Talk to me!

Dani! 

***

How did we get here? Whatever. Just lay down. I’ll turn down your music. Why are you smiling? Cover up, you’ll freeze. Ok. Now try to get some sleep. Yes I know the room is spinning, that’s from the alcohol. You’re ok. Dani? You asleep yet? I miss you. Happy Halloween.

“I miss you too. Happy Halloween.” Dani said into the dark.