Barefoot

On Skype, Mom’s eyes were closing, her drooping eyelids covered by silvery strands of loose hair. 

She was slipping into a doze.  

“Tell me about the Four-Cleanse, Mom.”

I brought up the “Four-Cleanse,” and her eyes shot open in a blast of energy.

Mom came back.

“Ahh, I had just graduated, fresh from medical school. Who could imagine I got sent to the country, and for what? Walking barefoot on the field!  I was from Shanghai. ” Mom knitted her brows when barefoot was mentioned, as though walking barefoot was the worst thing in her life. 

In truth, I was tricking Mom into talking more to engage her mind when we lived in two different worlds. She was her young self in her days of ‘re-education’; I nodded with her but effaced in essence –  baring my own feet, I, too, slipped into a cold but familiar dream.

*** 

YiMei lived her childhood in NanChang, a third-tier city in China. In the 70s, third-tier cities were patches of land surrounded by vast rice fields connected by a few asphalt main roads. Small factories emerged from dilapidated buildings, looking deserted. Schools dotted the fields, enclosed in white walls, with big red words in the foreground calling the countryman to march to the Four Modernizations. The walls never deterred anyone. Children gushed out from them triumphantly over the top, disappearing just as quickly. That was what YiMei saw whenever the train she was on stopped.

YiMei had been on trains frequently when her mom and dad settled in NanChang but aspired to move back to Shanghai. They would save for the trips every year to cultivate her in the atmosphere of Shanghai. The Registry of Residency made them live where they worked; otherwise, they would lose their salary and the ration of food and necessities. 

YiMei had not minded Nanchang. NanChang was her home.

The school YiMei attended was for the faculty family in the major local college where her Dad was teaching. It was the time faculty were recruited from all over the country like lottery draws. Family separated by the unbending law of the Registry of Residency,  no matter how many children they had. More often than not, YiMei was made to admire the independence of children living with single or non-parents and their flaunting of shabby clothing. Getting on with frugality was a glorious thing. 

In the section of the intelligentsia, only the mind mattered.  

YiMei was very slow, unfortunately. 

“Was she the girl who had a concussion?  Poor child, she was slow”, one teacher would say to the other.

 “Yes, she is, at least her mother says so, not sure if it is the concussion or herself, notice her eyes …” the other signed, and they kept on a murmured voice.

YiMei could not band with the sparkling minds. 

Qing, who learned Math 2 grades up, turned her nose up when she saw YiMei was close. 

“She tried that talk again to Ning,” she giggled half scornfully and half annoyedly but did not bother to lower her voice. “Like every day, Mrs. Tong was quite fed up.”  

Ning was the boy YiMei used to share a desk with. He was the son of her Mom’s good friend and the best-looking boy in the class. 

Ning never talked to her; it was his mom who spoke to her mom to book a dental appointment for his aunt. 

YiMei said nothing. They are noises to her.

“Little Lady, your nice dress needed a patch,” someone from the factory gang drawled sarcastically, the section that was not descended from faculty parents. YiMei dressed somewhat nicely, handed down from relatives in Shanghai, and it was not appreciated by all sections, intelligentsia or not. 

“Rotten capitalism,” sneers from all corners at her half-new knitted sweater, 

“Shut up, you idiots,” Ling emerged, glaring at the group. Ling was YiMei’s friend and protector. 

In NanChang, many days were downcast, yet Ling whirled in a dazzling color of red. She could tell anyone to shut up in her proud and haughty voice.

“You shut up, stupid slut”, the lead girl from the factory gang charged on and slapped Ling in the face.

“You –” Ling slapped back, not a second lost.

YiMei was suddenly acutely aware that they were two versus ten, and she should have screamed to get help, but instead, she tuned out the noises and went dumb.

“Go, go –  pussy fight! “ Just when these menacing faces closed in, a group of boys appeared and cheered. The lead girl froze and looked in their direction.  She blushed and smiled an angelic smile. Spat on Ling’s face, she loosened her grip on her, motioned for her friends to leave, and added with a laugh, “But she really is a whore, you know that, right?” She walked towards the boys.

In the center of the gang stood a pale-skinned boy, casually turning a stick in his hand, a face of fine features but unreadable eyes behind glasses. He is Chen, YiMei’s only other friend. 

He came to rescue her in his way like it was not his intention so that she would owe him nothing.

Chen was the leader of the factory gang boys. He was a couple of years older than the other kids, looking more scholarly than any, including the intelligentsia gang, except for a slight scar on the corner of his left eye.

When Chen became her deskmate, for the first time she remembered, YiMei formed a normal conversation with another person. She started with the books of humor her Dad bought, the books in English that were pirated, the only version available. 

“Do you know what the woman would say about the skeleton in her car ?” YiMei's eyes eerily looked past the person she was talking to.  Meeting her unfocused gaze,  Chen’s eyes blinked, showing a genuine interest, “Is it not the real skeleton?” He offered.

“She is bringing him to see the doctor.” She laughed.

“Isn’t it too late ?” He came up with the line precisely like what the book says, and they both laughed. He was brilliant and fun to talk to.

At other times, he was quiet; he would come and go, expressionless like someone who had given up his struggle to meet his destiny.  

None of the boys would talk to YiMei. Fair to say that any boy would be mocked talking to a girl, not to mention to her. The exception is Chen. They all thought she was just his pet and Chen was not to be messed with.

Chen was the young mob leader. 

They were real friends.  There were very few things YiMei took for granted, and this was one of them.

“You… how can you be so du… subdued…, you have your Mom and Dad both with you, don’t you ?!” Ling accused YiMei. She was exasperated but still cared to choose her words.

Yimei wished she could do more to console Ling. She never thought Ling needed any consolation, though, because living without parents was a cool thing then; her parents were sent to study in the United States. 

“My sister will leave and mom will come back,” Ling returned to her usual nonchalant tone. “Things are arranged now. She will be fine there.”

Then, suddenly, she exploded, “Did you hear that ! They called me slut,  because they called her a ‘broken shoe’, a fallen woman. “ Her eyes went wild, unfocused as YiMei, “She did not fall on her own. The son of bitch …” 

Tears streamed down, and Ling blinked back, “I will never be broken by anyone, you see, I will never.”  

“She did not fall on her own…”

“I will never be broken, by anyone …”

YiMei’s Mom was a well-known dentist in the city, and she used to bring YiMei to her back office, where she played with other doctors and nurses. 

On YiMei's 6th birthday, “Chi Gong Gong,” a Chinese medicine doctor, one of Mom’s friends, brought a beautiful cake for her. He was sorry her Mom was called away in an emergency. The next thing YiMei remembered was waking up in a hospital ward. “Chi Gong Gong,” said YiMei, who missed Mom so much that when he brought her to find Mom, she ran and fell, on her own, from the top of the stairs.

YiMei recovered and seemed truly unable to remember what had happened. Only then did her eyes start to look unfocused, which made it difficult to look straight into Mom’s eyes. 

“We will leave here soon.” Mom hugged her tightly.

A dream finally came true for Mom and Dad.

YiMei had only talked to Chen a long time ago. They had not been in the same class since middle school. 

Chen came over with his hands in his pocket, eyes cold as ice, and silence fell as he wanted it. There was something with him. He was a stranger to her.

“Hey,” YiMei muttered, “I am leaving. To Shanghai, Mom and Dad would move there.” His eyes flashed on her, and a slight smile came on.

“Your eyes are better,” he gazed into hers, “You are good now.”

He paused, “but you always are,” he added. 

The warmth was back. 

“I have those books, you know, the jokes and others, some you borrowed before,” YiMei made an effort to continue, “You did not return them all, ...Anyway, I wonder if, …,  I wonder if you want the rest of them ?”

“Pu-chi,” they both laughed, then laughed some more until tears came out.

“Listen, “Chen suddenly became serious. YiMei had never seen him anxious. “Right now, the tightened law enforcement has started. I could die tomorrow if they catch me on anything.” He gestured to a handgun. “I don’t have a record. I want to take this chance to clean it out. And then,” His gaze turned to her, and turned away, “ I want to join the army.”

“... So you will be a good person”. YiMei managed. 

Ling did not wait for YiMei to start. 

“I wanted to tell you I did something,” She avoided her eyes, “I know Chen is your friend.”

“I was following LXF, he and his people…  did it to my sister, but we can not do anything, better for sis“, Her voice was trembling, but her eyes burning red, “The tightened law enforcement is here – these sons of bitches, whatever they get caught, they will be dead. But they were cunning like foxes; they were hiding out. Just now, I got the news Chen will do the peace talk tonight. Some say he will buy his way out, but he has to lose something, a hand, a finger, whatever. The point is, I have informed the secret guards. The bait is set. They will close in and catch them all in their fight. Mob society and everyone in it, they are dead meat.”

“Did Chen …” 

“No, he never did such things to girls, “Ling cut her short, “You don’t have time to inform him now, “ She looked at YiMei, full of pity.

“Then why do you tell me ?” YiMei asked weakly.

“Do you know what I did to follow them?” Ling curled up a mocking smile, “You know what you are getting into. Right? Little lady?” 

“And you are much stronger now than you were,” she averted her eyes again, the fire in her eyes dimmed, ”You will be fine, just a little heartbroken.” 

Instant extermination, gunshots. Pictures went by in a blur. Deafening noises screamed at her.

YiMei blocked out all the noises.  She kept running, as mad as she could, not falling once.

When she was there, YiMei was surprised that the forsaken construction site was quiet, unlike in the bloody martial arts movie. Someone was playing poker on the ground with a loud thump, some whiff of beer and cigarettes floating in the air.

“Are you LXF?” YiMei fixed her stare at a guy with broad shoulders and long, greasy hair. 

“Chen, I did not know your girlfriend would be here.” LXF’s shock turned into a lurid smile moving between YiMei and Chen.

YiMei stopped Chen with a hand, speaking with tense clarity. She heard nothing but her voice, “You know Rui, yes? Listen, Officer Li Ju is my mother’s patient. They had all the evidence; Rui wanted to testify. You better go right to the police to give yourself up; you need to be quick because their people are here.” Unfazed, YiMei provided Li Ju's direct phone number.

A siren wailed in the distance.

LXF finally shook off his shock and took a last size-up on YiMei. YiMei’s blood went cold, but she held her stare. 

Chen stood up. 

A dead chill.

Unfrozen, LXF nodded at Chen and turned,  “Go.” a few guys filed out after him. 

“You can walk me to the bus stop,” YiMei said to Chen.

Silence.

Then one of them laughed. They laughed till tears were out.

***

“What about the lice, the bed bugs, and leeches? There must be worse things than being barefoot,” I teased Mom, breaking a trance.

“Oh, there, you only remember the first thing you get over, other things are forgettable, aren’t they?” Mom smiled an indulging smile.