Hey, Im Ryo

Seoul

Chapter One - Who am I?:

I’m Ryo, and this is the story of how I became notorious.

This must have been a few years ago now when I was living in Seoul, Korea. I used to live on my own and spoke to virtually no one but the people I had to see every day at community college.

I kept to myself never going out of my way to have social interactions with other people, I felt far too superior for that, I felt fucking invincible like no one could’ve stopped me if they tried. Perhaps my sadistic nature was

hidden behind the intellectual charm I allowed people to see to satisfy them wanting to get to know me more. By this point my parents had died and I was on my own. I forgot to mention by this point I was 18 and an independent adult.

My home life was never the greatest and my parents worse than I am, maybe I just hadn’t realised the induced insanity from the people I called family. No one knew the real me or what I was like in my spare time, a brutal murder

incapable of sympathy for the people I’d harmed.

On coming home one day I realised someone had broken into my home and clearly didn’t try to hide it very well as if they thought I’d just be accepting of them breaking and entering, and we could’ve just had a nice fucking conversation and become friends and forget about the whole problem. This wasn’t something I was planning on letting go of at all. I’d wondered if they even bothered to stick around after hearing me walk through my own front door but then again I hadn’t seen anyone try to slip through and get away, just as well with what I had in store for them. It’d been a while since I’d had some fun. So I took off my shoes making sure to be so quiet I wouldn’t scare who ever was in here with me away creeping slowly around the house like a predator hunting its prey the excitement of catching what I was trying to find exhilarating, I realised they were just down the corridor I started to creep ever so slowly towards the goal I’d been trying to reach for the past 30 minutes. When I finally found who I was looking for I was totally astounded, this person was- utterly incredible and i, for once in my life lowered my defences wanting to actually get to know this woman more.

I put down the knife I was carrying and sat on the floor while she cowered in the corner, and introduced myself. Saying as politely as I could ‘Hey I’m Ryo, who are you?’ with a smile I could have hoped would make her feel warm and welcome, my malicious intent towards the person who broke into my house fading slow but surely.

I was scaring myself at this point. She was so timid I was shocked she even had the courage to break in, she slowly said to me in the sweetest voice anyone had ever approached me in, ‘Hi… my name’s Rin, what are you going to do to me?’ the look on her face suddenly becoming a pale white, I was desperate to make her feel comfortable and stay. So I calmly replied ‘Don’t worry I’m not going to turn you in or even punish you for being here but why are you here?.’ She suddenly turned bright red with embarrassment, her flushed cheeks were adorable but I started to panic would she ever accept me if she knew what I did? Rin replied to me ‘I actually came here to speak with you, I’m sorry for letting myself in that was rude of me, I’ve seen you around campus at college and wanted to ask you on a date’ I could tell she was anxiously waiting for me to respond ‘Me?’, ‘I’m sorry I’ve never seen you around here before but I guess I could take you up on the offer you came here to ask me’ I was secretly more happy than a child who had got to see their friend after being away for a long time.

She seemed to be filled with delight, and from that day on we grew closer she was the one true person I ever felt I’d needed in my life it was perfect, we were perfect. I’d never been more happy in my life than the days I spent with her.

But like everything I’d ever tried to hold on to in my life and never let go of, it was slowly slipping away before my eyes. We started fighting all the time not getting on or agreeing I was becoming paranoid, and she grew cold. I loved her so much I never wanted her to leave, and she knew deep down I couldn’t live without her or ask for anyone better.

I wanted so desperately to fix it that I went to any means necessary in order to hold on to and keep the life I thought I could only have in my dreams together in my grasp while it was crumbling before me, before my eyes. I couldn’t take it. The emptiness, the solidarity, the loneliness they all came flooding back like the time we spent together was just some euphoric dream. I couldn’t take the idea of her being with someone else ii crushed me, no it enraged me. But, she left me anyway, I crumbled into a shell of who she made me. My malicious intent towards this woman greater than any complexity I could imagine. I dwelled on why she told me she loved me if she was just going to leave I couldn’t take it. I went berserk.

I found out she was with someone else and I decided to show her my true nature and who I really was bringing everything I needed to put the past, well and truly in the past. I found out where she lived now and her current boyfriend, I warned him over the phone, making sure it was an anonymous call, he should’ve cherished what he loved for a bit longer with a sadist grin on my face they only show you in the movies, the look of pure horror on his face was the one source of pure joy I’d felt since the day I met that bitch. She was next. I found her house and it looked like that time I was the one breaking and entering. She was getting ready in front of her mirror when I crept up on her, with a mask covering my face, making it seem like a robbery gone wrong. Pressing a knife against her clothing hand on her shoulder knowing what I needed to do and how I’d do it.

This was the most exciting moment of my life. But, unfortunately for me, it was over before it even began I thought she’d take longer to give up. Once it was done and I’d cleaned up everything I’d done, which reminded me of cleaning up toys after playing with them for a while. I rang her boyfriend back with the most narcissistic tone in my voice and the only words I spoke were ‘It’s your turn to feel the grief now have fun’ with such a laugh that I sent chills down my own spine.

Chapter Two - What have I done?:

I know it was fun at the time but I’m missing her. Why am I missing someone who hurt me? I don’t miss my parents or family? What the fuck was it about her that made her so special. I was thinking this to myself, driving myself insane. I wish she’d come back what’s wrong with me why did I do it I loved her I could have just spoken to her, I know I put her in hospital, and she’ll never talk to me again but oh my god I miss her, all these thoughts were flooding into my head at once I couldn’t understand why I valued her life so much. She broke my heart when she was the first person I ever let in close enough to see it, I spent so long wondering what I did wrong and why she ended up hating me so badly.

Did she know before i actually even decided to show her my true colours? The fear of not being accepted terrified me so badly I decided I would be better than anyone else and the insanity I felt would be pushed to the back of my mind. I decided I wanted a new persona and a new me, I would present myself as a new person to new people and try to fill the hole that woman left me with.

I decided to move houses to Goyang away from the life I knew, and to the life I wanted.

Once I got to my new home I immediately set up my things and applied for a place at the local college near me as I didn’t quite finish my whole course. I’d hoped to be able to be more sociable and live as a normal adult wondering if I’d ever be the same again.

I decided to just try out this new lifestyle, with the money both of my parents left me when they died I had enough money to keep my house in Seoul and purchase a house in Goyang, so evidently if it didn’t work out. I could just move back to Seoul.

I was terrified of these people not accepting me and conceding to what everyone else has done to me and just judged before they even spoke to me and had a chance to see my true nature.

I was so tired, couldn’t I just sleep forever?

So, I rang the one person I’ve known since I was a child, hoping I could finally get this off my chest, my hands shaking considering my options and outcomes when telling this person I’ve known since I was 6 I was a monster in the eyes of society. He was one of my preschool best friends called Aiko and said ‘Hey you wanna know a secret?’