What Happened?!

“It’s so hot out here!” The woman smiled, and turned around. “But I at least got you.” 

The husband from far away tipped his cowboy hat. “Tha’s right!”

“Well, it is the desert.”

“And a town at that.”

*Stares at the two lanky dorks that were cowhands* “You two can go shirtless. I can’t! As a woman, I have to wear these stupid cotton costumes!”

“Costumes are for children in a play—”

“Shut up!” *Hears something over yonder* “Bye, losers!”

The woman wanders over behind the barn shed and sees a magnificent beautiful horse. Its gorgeous rose-gold horn stuck out like a sore thumb. Breathless from awe, the woman stared in wonder. Finally, she said, “Wow! What a beauty.”

The horse looked at her. It told her, “Come over here.”

The woman did. Walking up to it, she reached out a hand to pet it. The horse shook its mane. “No,” it seemed to be saying. “Don’t pet me. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this.”

“Have to do what?”

“Have to listen to such crap as those two fools dinking around out here in this oven of a desert town. Puh-leez!”

“Well, I can help.”

The woman gasped. “You can? Wow—you must be the only one I can trust.”

The unicorn turned to her and said, “If you leave, you will find mountains of gold beyond your wildest dreams.”

“I’ve always wanted to live in a house of gold. But I serve such a good husband. I can’t just abandon him.”

“Well, I ran away from my herd. So you’d rather melt out here in this heat, or would you rather present your husband with mountains of gold?”

The woman thought. Finally, she said, “Where can I locate this mountain of truth?”

“Travel three months—”

“Yeah?” The woman asked, her eyes shimmering with greed, as she could know.

“To achieve this gold. After, just pick it up, return to your husband and you all will be rich.”

The woman shook her head. “Unbelievable!” She rushed home, burst through the open doorway, surprising her husband and told him the valuable news. “Oh—oh!”

“Hon, what gold do you think will make us rich?” The husband laughed. “Please—the oil’s not dug up!”

“No, you don’t understand! A unicorn told me to get a mountain of gold—”

“Tomfoolery!”

“No. It’s real. If we just—”

“Stop!”

The wife stared at her husband. “All you do is sip your beer and laugh with your men about horses drinking your drinks outside. You do nothing around here but brush Cinnabon and Turkey.”

The husband came over. “Please.” He said calmly, wrapping his arms around her. “Please understand me. There’s no mountain of gold. No unicorn.”

The woman twisted away from him, denying everything. “You don’t understand. We can rich. We can have what we always wanted—financial freedom. But you’re sitting on your butt, drinking with your buddies.”

“On the weekends. I pour hours into the cattle, horses, barns, this here house and even our weeds get thrown in the fire. Old Bennies serves me every Friday!”

“Whatever. I’m going after that gold, and you’re not stopping me.”

The woman saddled her bags and took off on Cinnabon, the horse reluctant to go. Her husband stood, leaning on one of the sides of the door, shaking his head. “Please.” He said calmly. “Please. Don’t go. You’re not—”

But she galloped off, her husband blinking back tears and taking off his hat. “Oh, Mel. If only you believed me.” He went inside, calling his Border Collie to him. The dog leaped into his arms, and he fell into their only rocking chair, rocking the dog and himself to sleep.

“I’m going to get it!” The woman sang, her voice carrying the song long and loud. Cinnabon rolled his eyes, him galloping and galloping. Finally, it became night. “Need some water?” The woman looked for some water by a stream, and cupped it, bringing it to the thirsty horse. “Here!” The woman then jumped on Cinnabon. “There, had a break. Let’s keep going. Three months.”

The horse reared. “No, master. No! I’ll die of exhaustion. Please. The journey’s too far down the path. We have to go back—”

The woman looked over yonder. There were some homes down the road, some she recognized. “We didn’t leave town yet. We’re still in town!” The woman kicked at the horse, but he told her to stop. He also told her he’d kick her should she not stop. The woman ordered him to let her mount, but the horse didn’t budge. Finally, the woman stormed away.

“Die of thirst for all I care!” She stormed off, deciding to go back to her husband. But her husband met her.

“Woman, you’re going to die of thirst out there. There is no mountain of gold!”

“A unicorn told me. We’re dirt poor. We’ll—”

“Make it if we work hard!”

“We’ve been working hard. I don’t see no improvements.” The woman’s eyes flashed with rage. The man looked right into those mad eyes.

“Woman, hear me out. You won’t see any gold. The unicorn was lying to you.”

“The unicorn promised—”

“Nothing!” The man thundered, stomping his foot. “Believe me. You never do. You’re always upset, pouring out your wrath without doing nothing about it.”

“You know nothing. I want riches. We’re poor, and we always will be.”

The woman ran off, hurrying and hurrying, the husband watching his wife depart from him, forever. He watched her leave, begging her to come back. She didn’t listen, and when the man walked with Cinnabon at his side, he jumped and stared. A pile of bones lay on the sand, the wind blowing every so softly at the sand mounted on it.

Horrified, he mounted Cinnabon and turned around towards his house. Slamming the door after ground-tying Cinnabon, he slid down to the floor. Blinking, he lunged up. “No, the revolver’s gone. No—she done killed herself!” He had looked for the unicorn, but it flashed an evil look.

“Stupid woman—there’s no gold anywhere! Stupidity done kills its victim. I told her that. But it’s too late now!” And it vanished, leaving the man a widower.  

The woman’s grave remains, the man marrying another, faithful, woman.