The baby no one knows I lost

Her name was going to be Alexandria May Daroski. She would have been beautiful. She would have been loved. But then tragedy struck a 16 year old girl.

This girl was a junior in high school. She had a boyfriend. But her boyfriend wasn't the baby's father. She snuck out and went to a party one night. There she got drunk and passed out. She was raped that night. He was a senior and she couldn't fight him off.

He drove her home afterwards and just left her in the yard for her parents to find.

Six weeks later, she felt weird. She couldn't keep any food down, she was having abdomen pain, and she had missed her menstrual cycle. She told her mom and went to the doctors.

"Mom?" She said, as they sat in the doctor's office.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

Her mom came over to her and wrapped her arms around her. "It's gonna be okay, hon. It's not your fault. But you know you might have to make a hard decision."

"What do you mean?"

"If your pregnant..." Mom sighed. "You will have to decide if you want an abortion or if you want to keep the baby."

"I'll keep it."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, mom." The girl said, and all was quiet.

Five minutes later, a nurse came in with the results.

"You're pregnant!" She exclaimed. "You're roughly 6 weeks along. Congratulations..."

The nurse kept talking but the girl couldn't listen anymore. She blacked out.

*******

5 hours later

The girl came to in the comfort of her bed. She was alone.

"Mom?!?"

The door opened shortly after that. Her boyfriend walked in.

"Shawn?"

"Baby? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I promise. But I kinda wanna be alone."

"Okay. Will I see you in school tomorrow?"

"Yeah." She said and he left.

***

At school the next day she saw her rapist. And she bolted for the girl's locker room.

As she was putting her gym bag away he slammed her locker and corner her.

"What do you want, Jamie?" She asked, trying to sound confident.

"I want you." He said and grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her to the showers. "And, I always get what I want."

"But I don't want to." She said trying to pull away.

He didn't care. He pulled her pants down and bent her over and after pulling his pants down, he went inside her. "If you scream, I'll kill you."

She stayed quiet and wished that it would be over soon. But it wasn't. After he finished and spun her around and pinned her against the wall.

"I know that your pregnant."

"How?"

"I know things. And you aren't keeping it." He said, and looked furious.

"What do you--" she began.

But before she could finish, he punched her in the stomach. She fell to the ground, yelling for help. But he didn't stop. He started stomping on her stomach.

As blood started trickling, he stopped and walked away, leaving her there to bleed.

***

By the time she was finally found, she was unconscious and the baby was dead. At the hospital when she was conscious again, she held her baby for the first time and told her mom the baby's name.

"Alexandria May Daroski."

"What?" Her mom asked, confused.

"My daughter's name."

"Oh sweetie. I love it."

Alexandria lives in heaven but also around her mother's neck. She is loved in more ways than one and by many people.

That sixteen year old girl is me and to this day I still haven't told anyone this part of my story.