On the Run

My life was pathetic. 

Under the cover of a cloudless night, I'd dashed into the woods. The rain hid my scent and covered my tracks. Still, I knew I wasn't safe; it was only a matter of time until the police caught me. 

Maybe, I'd kill them too. 

The dogs were barking, eager to sniff me out. I could hear their owners ordering one another. Find her, a man said. You're only making this worse for yourself, darling, another soothed. Lies. They'd say anything to stop me, but I'd never fall for their tricks. I will escape. Or they die. 

I picked up speed, having slowed down before. Blood oozed from my hands and feet, my nails broke from gripping tree trunks, and my evening gown stuck to my body like a second skin.

I didn't mean to kill dad, but I'd be lying if I said he didn't deserve it. 

My parents never saw me as the ticking time bomb I was. They rather saw me as a person to subdue. You're not getting any younger, darling. If you fix your poor temper, I'm sure men would come for your hand, mommy had repeated those years ago. That was another thing she got wrong. My temper wasn't poor. It was horrific.

Don't measure me with your yardstick, mother, I'd warn every time, red spots already dotting my vision. It was a prelude to the many fights we had, and on many occasions, I'd turned them physical. Knifes, bottles, cups, forks. I converted anything to a weapon and fought like a lizard defending its territory. In a way, I was, withholding from mommy the power to control me. 

That left daddy and Jenny to separate us with effort. You monster! Jenny would scream. In the family, only she saw me as that. Daddy often ignored me, tending to the sobbing mess that was his wife instead. But things finally went downhill on the night of The Fight, Part One. So I'd thought.

Bobby's picked a scent! an officer said. I sprinted. 

It was my thirtieth birthday. As mommy insisted, we had a family celebration. Jenny congratulated me on the start of my mall business, and I thanked her. She couldn't meet my grey eyes, scared of the animal I contained inside. 

Part One began with mommy asking if I'd found a suitable man to charm into marriage. I said no, I wasn't interested in men or marriage. It was a... part-lie. I'd, infact, gone out with several men, but they were all stupid, only wanting to partake in my new-found wealth. I didn't spare their stupidity, of course. The last one left our date with a broken leg. No one had the right to control me or anything that was mine. 

Don't tell me you're a feminist. Or worse, gay, daddy had snorted. I'd arched my brows before asking, What's wrong with that? with attitude; mommy, to her detriment, jumped in to set me straight. She was still rambling about the importance of heterosexual marriage when a knife slashed across her right cheek. Daddy disowned me that night six years ago, and somehow, I knew it wasn't the end of my story.

The Fight, Part Two, happened only hours earlier. This one began with Jenny celebrating her engagement. Mommy was a chipmunk on coke over the phone, but I couldn't care less. I'd told her I wouldn't be coming, yet, somehow, she convinced me. You're still family, darling. Your daddy is too proud to say it, but he misses you. Come and see us tonight, please. 

My mother was a fool who thought I was foolish. I hadn't even apologized for the scar on her cheek. Did she think her sweetness deceived me? She didn't need to pretend, for God's sake. She hated me, they all did. And their inviting me was only to rub Jenny's success in my face. 

My mother was right with her thoughts. I was foolish! If only I'd known more, I wouldn't be on the run now.

I'd decided to play their game. My business was flourishing, so I didn't think twice about buying the most expensive sequined evening dress, the flashiest set of jewelry, and the fanciest clutch in an equally classy store. I rode in the latest Ferrari, going all-out for a simple dinner. 

My theory became law when I arrived. Jenny's fiancé was more like a lost puppy, following my sister wide-eyed wherever she went. Jenny was too busy showing him around our little home to notice my existence. No. She was actively avoiding me. Daddy and mommy were over him too. No surprise there. With him, they'd shushed the neighbors who pitied them because of me, their first and "disturbed" daughter. My parents ignored me too, right after acknowledging my presence, unlike my sister.

Before long, I realized something more. Something that made me see red. They weren't ignoring me per say. They were deceiving me. It was obvious with the way Jenny stiffened when she met her partner's lips. The way their conversation seemed rehearsed. The vacant, very fake, gleam in the man's eyes. 

What's going on? I'd asked, instantly quieting their chatter. Jenny couldn't pretend; she squirmed like a wriggler. Jenny? I'd pushed, my belly filling with lava. It's a lie! she finally spat, her eyes darting frantically across the room. There's no engagement. This ruse was planned to encourage you to find better—

Encourage! I'd bellowed, fire in my throat. With Part Two, I became rage itself. I remember how I'd boiled, with daddy and mommy begging me to calm down. But how could I? My family did this to control me. Control me! My life as a girl was full of control. I'd followed mommy's every instruction to the letter, especially her instruction to obey my elders. I'd obeyed Gregory, my prefect in primary school, when he ordered me to steal snacks from vendors. I'd given in to Tracey, the head girl back in secondary school, when she made me shove a junior's head in the toilet. I'd done all that, believing I'd grow to rule myself as an adult, knowing adults weren't bossed around. Yet, here I was, with people who still wished to control me.

She's close! 

I'd gone after my mother first. Blinded by rage, I didn't realize I'd picked a spoon. Suddenly, it landed in my father's neck, amidst the screaming and shouting. Without sparing daddy—or anyone—a glance, I'd dashed out the door in panicked shock, but not before hearing Jenny's fake fiancé call the police. 

Move, move, move! 

Ugh! I tripped on my dress, distracted by my memories. 

Bobby's found her! There! There she is! 

I didn't get up, not even when I was ordered to. I could only stare at the dark sky as four men pulled me up and out of the woods. I was tired of everything and glad to be caught, anyways. Shedding tears, I finally acknowledged a thought that's been haunting me since I stabbed daddy.

My life was pathetic.