Unbreak my heart

Trigger warning; mention of a miscarriage

The tantalizing aroma of roses wafted from the Indian scented candle, the beautiful smell enveloping the dining room of the Mystic Meadows Mansion as multiple servants placed multiple expensive china on top of the twenty-sitter dining hall table under Mia's strict directions. The wonderful smells of roasted potatoes, seared duck, salad ranch and fresh fruit warred with the rose scent in the air, all of the the scents vying for the spot of most pleasant smell in the big house. Expensive whine from the cellar was also placed next to the candles; the dim light giving the fancy dining room a romantic and relaxed air. It was the perfect set-up for Valentines day and for a brand new beginning for Mia and Henry.

Mia took a short shower after straightening the cutlery and switching on to some Dolly Parton music, her heart beating wildly as she envisioned herself in the beautiful short and strapless black dress by Chanel. The red shoes were Gucci and worn mostly so they could matched the way she had decorated the house. She would have worn the red matching dress but Henry had always loved her in black so black would be best choice. It had been a while since they spent time together like a real married couple; without arguing, without jealousy and without the miscarriage looming over them. Tonight would be the night they buried the hatchet and maybe try for another baby.

She had had an anembroyonic pregnancy, a fact they had known since the first time they had gone for a scan. Mia vividly recalled how excited they had both been when she had missed her monthly periods and then produced five positive pregnancy tests when they had tested on Henry’s birthday eight months ago. Henry had immediately got them an appointment with the best gynecologist in America, Dr Who, who then confirmed that Mia was pregnant. The scan showed that that the embryo had been conceived but had not developed and was then sucked into the uterus at a very early stage. They had also known since then that one in five of such pregnancies resulted in miscarriages but they never expected to be part of the dreaded statistic. Not with the best treatments and doctors money could buy. Needless to say, the period that followed was very trying  to the couple. Mia was anxious and distant and Henry buried himself in his family's billion dollar oil company duties.

Mia was sixteen weeks pregnant when she miscarried. She had been feeling minor cramps all through the morning but had written it of as the usual cramps she endured. She had taken time off Lakeside Views, the interior design company she co-owned with her sister in-law and friend, Precious and was reading the latest issue of Vogue Magazine when she felt water come out from her vagina, followed by clots and bleeding. She had been confused only for a while before the reality of the situation hit her and she started screaming for the servants. Mikha, her driver, was the one to find her and call the ambulance. It was useless though, she had already lost the baby.

The fights that followed revolved around one fact, Henry should have been there on the fateful day Mia had miscarried. He would have driven her to the hospital fast. Their baby would have been fine then. Luckily they had decided not to tell the family about the pregnancy until they were certain the baby was safe. The last thing they had needed at that time was pity. Mia was devastated, and in her eyes, Henry didn’t seem sad enough. Not when he still went to work and tried to cheer her up. Not when he took sleeping pills and managed to sleep. Like it was okay for them to be okay when they had lost their baby. Their relationship had been strained since then and Mia missed her husband. The therapist she had been seeing during the past month had advised her to reach out to her husband and try to rebuild their relationship because they loved each other. She had no doubt Henry would be up for it. He had been begging her to talk to him and to at least eat. He had been begging her to be okay and let them get over it together. There was no doubt he would die for her.

Even though Mia had lost weight during the past months, the dress fitted her perfectly since two weeks before; she had hired a gym instructor to get her back into shape. It had been a while since she had felt remotely attractive. Her bleached blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and the diamond pendant Henry had gifted her when they went out on their first date hung around her neck as she looked at her fully dressed and made up reflection. She could't help but remember the day she had first met her husband. She remembered the day clearly.

It was eight years ago when Mia had just started working at a top class jewelry company. Her boss, the usually aloof man had been bouncing on his feet all day, giving orders and straightening the jewelry cases; a clear sign that someone important would be dropping by to look at the jewelry pieces. The shop which was at the center of Langly Mall had been cleaned thoroughly that day, and the employees, Mia included, all had smiles plastered on their faces by the time the esteemed guest had walked in. Her smile faltered though when she saw the devastatingly handsome six-foot-four man with inky black hair and an unfairly bright smile that threatened to blind anyone who looked directly at him. His beauty was truly disarming.

She recalled thinking how lucky the girl he would marry would be when she saw how he laughed and greeted everyone politely, viewing and complementing every ring he was shown. His smile had also faltered when he reached her and smoldering green eyes had run over her before he smiled at her flaming face. It was love at first sight on both parties. Her cheeks flamed even more when he spoke. The very first sentence he had uttered to her

“I’m not even going to bother with a pick up line. You are gorgeous and I would die for a date with you.” He had said. Things had gone fast pretty fast from then. Mia, a twenty year old orphaned country girl from Texas who had saved up from herding her uncle's cattle had found herself being courted by the sweetest twenty eight year old man ever, her first boyfriend Henry Brown. She had found herself being flown to dinners, riding private yachts for masquerades and having her very own driver. Two years after their meeting she was meeting his very nice family, a family that had accepted her as one of their own very quickly. Her sister in law even convinced her to get Henry to invest in their own designing company. Not long after that, she had been flying in wedding planners and dress designers from all over the world before she had married her soul mate. That was precisely the reason she couldn’t let their marriage die. They were made for each other.

Mia couldn’t resist straightening the warm dishes here and there, her heart beating nervously as she checked the antique clock for the sixth time. She had already dismissed all the workers from hers and her husband's Beverly Hills mansion for the remainder of the week off, and the house felt eerily empty and quite. She eventually decided to have a bit of wine while she waited for Henry, a bit which soon turned to three glasses before she decided to give up. Sure she had planned the dinner as a complete surprise but he would usually have arrived by eight pm so, unshed tears in her eyes, she decided to go to bed since he was obviously not coming. Her plans where derailed by the ringing doorbell.

For a moment she forgot that she was alone and waited for one of the staff members to get it before remembered the situation and half staggered to the door. She could never handle her alcohol so she was slightly tipsy as she walked all the way to the wooden door. She sobered up instantly when she saw the policemen, their hats in their hands as they stared sadly at her. There was suddenly a very loud buzzing in her ears and a very insistent voice in her head. A voice screaming no. A voice denying the implications of the police visits. A voice that only dimmed when she started to see black and began to fall, only she didn’t hit the ground.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was not the first time that Mia was looking at hers and Henry’s wedding picture, but as always she could feel the sting of tears on her eyes. Henry had looked happy and so handsome in the picture. Nothing like when he died. A speeding truck had hit his Rolls Royce from his side and the car had crumbled to pieces. Mia had seen the flower petals and melted chocolate on the crime scene, and her guilt had intensified. Of course he would bring her gifts on Valentine's day. Even if she had been unfair towards him. Even if she had pushed him away. Even if she didn’t deserve it. Somehow his wedding ring was the only thing left unscathed from the crush and Mia had broken down when she saw it. She had been numb during his funeral though. It had seemed liked her heart knew that no matter how much pain she let herself feel, none of it would ever fully express just how sad and broken she was over the unfinished business between her and Henry, all the words she said to him weeks before he died and how he died thinking he was going to lose her. So everything in her had shut down. Even when she discovered he had left her over eighty percent of his wealth. Even when his entire family reached out to her. Nothing could ever break through the guilt, the self loathing and the wish to die.

Nathan eventually did though. He was the policeman who had caught her four years ago when she had fainted after hearing about her husband’s death. He had driven her to the crime scene after making sure she was okay. He had held her when she fell apart. He had suspected that she was suicidal and hadn’t left her alone for a minute. He had convinced her to go to therapy. He had been there when she went through the stages of grief. It was why she would be looking at the picture for the last time. Henry was her first love and he would always have a place in her heart but she had to let go of the final physical tie to him. A tie that restrained her from fully giving herself to Nathan. Henry had approached her in a dream the previous night. He’d told her to be happy. He’d told her to allow herself to let him go. For herself. For Nathan. For Henry Anthony Matthews, hers and Nathan's one month old son.

So she would be looking at the framed picture for the very last time.