Heartstrings

“Clara!” My mum yelled, “Time for orchestra! Come on, you don’t want to be late again!” Actually, I do. I thought as I put my violin in its case. I had been up here practising for half an hour, and I still couldn’t play the violin 3 part for Angels We Have Heard on High. I sighed as I trudged down the stairs and collected my bag. I hopped in the car, mentally going over the songs in my head and the things I needed to work on in each one. 

When I got to the hall, there was the usual hustle with everyone trying to sign in without a neat line. I could see the table the paper was on, but getting there was a whole different matter. I tried to squeeze between two of the cellists, but one of them turned at the last moment, knocking my violin case out of my hand and sending it spinning across the floor. I watched helplessly as feet kicked the poor, unassuming case around until, eventually, it came to a stop under a window. I put my head down and shuffled closer to the window, trying not to be trampled by anyone. With my eyes on the floor, I couldn’t see I was about to bump into the most popular boy at orchestra, so I kept shuffling.

“OW!” I exclaimed as the foot stepped on mine. I looked up, about to give the owner of the foot a piece of my mind when I saw who it was. My eyes widened and a blush crept up my neck and onto my cheeks. My mouth stayed open, probably giving me the appearance of a startled fish.

“Sorry,” The incredibly attractive voice said, “I didn’t see you there.” He then looked past me and smiled at one of his friends. As he pushed past me, I registered his words. ‘I didn’t see you.’ I repeated in my mind, Yeah, you and everyone else. 

Honestly, I should be used to it by now, but of course, I wasn’t. I hadn’t really adjusted at all. It's a big jump to being homeschooled and then thrown into the deep end called Year 9. Especially when you know much more about certain subjects than others.

I sighed as I picked up my slightly battered case and brushed it off. The crowd had diminished a bit, so I could get to the table without too much hassle. I put a check next to my name and went into the main hall. The seat next to me was already filled with my standmate. Melissa was reviewing the bowing techniques in our third piece, Winter Wonderland. I took my violin out and sat next to her.

“Hello, I hope you’ve practised.” Was her form of greeting, and although she was three years younger than me, she was almost at Second Violin level. I sighed.

“Of course I’ve practised, that’s all I’ve been doing lately and I STILL can’t get it right.” I pulled out Angels and put it on the stand. She squinted at the pencilled-in notations I had written and raised An Eyebrow.

“This is the part you’re stuck on? You know, sometimes I really don’t understand you, Clara.” I gave her A Look in return and looked around. There Ian was, looking perfect, with most of the woodwind section around him, along with a good amount of First Violins. I sighed, knowing our interaction in the entranceway was all I would get for a while. Why would someone like him hang out with someone like me? That was how it was in school, though, and I had found that out rather quickly.

“All right people! Let’s do this thing! So can you all get out White Chrismas and sit down?” The conductor, Ms Smith said tapping her baton against her stand.

♪♪♪

By the time break had come, I really needed it. I was almost entirely focused on what the hang was going on with the notes on the page, struggling way more than I should’ve, but every once in a while, when I had a few bars rest, I would look up at Ian and one time, I found him looking back. I couldn’t finish the song properly, I was so flustered. When the baton lowered, and I had tucked my violin away in its case, I put my head down and followed the stream of people flooding out of the hall that we practised in and down the corridor towards the tables that held the snacks. By some form of magic or fate, whatever you want to call it, Ian and his friends managed to stand behind me. I was almost at the front when I heard something that made me drop my purse and all the coins I had in my hand. As I bent down to reclaim the dropped money, I listened closely to what Ian was saying.

“Yeah, but what about that girl in the Third Violins? Isn’t she like, our age?”

“Yeah, but dude, she’s like worse than my little sister.” One of his mates said. The other one chuckled.

“Man, you should’ve heard her last week. She snapped a string, she was that bad!” They all laughed, but Ian stopped before the others. The thing about the string was mostly true, but I was trying to find out why my string kept getting out of tune. It turned out, of course, that it was about to snap, but that obviously didn’t mean anything to the saxophone and cellist behind me. The lady serving everyone called me forward and I grabbed my snacks as soon as I could and found a nice secluded corner to cry in. I opened my Milky Way bar miserably as I tried not to make it too obvious I was crying, but someone always finds you when you just want to be alone. I had also learned that from my experience in school so far, and this was one of those times. 

“Are you ok?” And of course, it was him. Things couldn’t get worse.

“Wait, are you crying?” A disgusted female voice said. Never mind, things just got a lot worse. I hurriedly whipped my face, hoping to hide any evidence of my feel-sorry-for-myself session. But I was an ugly crier, and it was obvious by the look on the First Clarinet’s face that she agreed.

“Would you mind, like, crying somewhere else? Ian and I need some privacy.” She waved me off like I was some peasant who had shown up at her party uninvited. Ian looked like he was going to say something, so before I could hear anything else horrible come out of his face, I spoke quickly.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure I- I was just going to leave anyway.” I snatched my wrapper off the floor and hurried around the corner. I stopped though, to listen to what Ian was saying.

“She was fine where she was, Lara, you didn’t need to be rude. She was obviously having a hard time.” A scoff came and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who it came from.

“Ian, really? She said it herself, she was just about to leave. It doesn’t matter, she’s gone now.” I fled before I could hear anything else, but something in me sang, unlike anything my bow had ever done before. Ian had stood up for me! I kept the little inner chant going until I reached the practice hall.

♪♪♪

I was practising Angels again when Ian walked in. I looked up at the sound of the door closing and immediately our eyes locked onto each other’s. I quickly broke away from his intense gaze and put my bow on the strings. Ian was walking towards me, but I ignored him and continued to struggle through the bowings. He stopped by my side, squinting at the notes I was trying to play.

“Is that how you always hold your bow?” He asked, pointing to my fisted hand. I stopped playing and looked up at him. I blinked, surprised he was talking to me.

“Uh, yeah?” I turned towards him and he frowned.

“And is that always how you hold your violin?”

“Yes…” I said slowly, wondering what he was getting at.

“Well, it must be tough to play the right notes. Has no one taught you properly?” I shook my head, not wanting to admit that my mother didn’t really want me to learn the violin, so I had looked up how to play it on YouTube.

“Well, that would explain why you’re still in Violin Three. Show me how you hold your bow again?” He asked with a genuine look of concern on his face. I showed him tentatively, and he gently took my bow off of me and showed me how to grip it properly.

“You’ve got to spread your fingers properly, see? You’re pinky has to be over here to get control over where the bow is going. And then…” He trailed off, reaching around me and holding the violin with me so that his chest was prest against my back. I gulped, and my cheeks grew warm. I had never been this close to a boy before and I kinda liked it. Ian was warm and smelled like night air with a hint of chocolate. I smiled to myself as he showed me how to prop the violin up without my elbow touching my hip. 

By the time everyone else had come back into the practice hall, Ian and I had run through the Angels piece, and I could do the part I was having trouble with almost effortlessly. When he had pulled away to sit with the First Violins, he had smiled and winked at me. I was blushing so hard, it felt as if my face was on fire.

♪♪♪

When practice was finished, the conductor called me up to have a word with her.

“Clara, you did really well tonight. Was it just a good day or can I expect this standard from now on?” She asked, looking into my eyes like she could read the thoughts flying around behind them.

“Um, I think so. I- I had some help earlier so I think I can do better now.” Ms Smith smiled.

“I did think I saw Ian helping you. He’s a good violin player, you would do well to take some tips from him.” She winked at me and let me go pack my violin in its case. On my out of the door, however, I was stopped again, this time by Ian.

“Hey, so um, Clara, uh, I was wondering, um, would you maybe like to hang out more? I mean, it’s fine if you don’t but I was just wondering. I think we live pretty close to each other…” He looked at me hopefully, as if my answer would make or break him. I stared at him for a moment and then spoke tentatively.

“Uh, sure… I guess?” I had no idea why Ian would want ot spend more time with me, but I guess I wouldn’t mind a bit more practice.

♪♪♪

In the coming weeks, Ian and I started spending more time with each other. I was a First Violin now, and I was giving Ian a run for his money for the leading Violin. Then, after the second to last practice before our Christmas concert, he joined me as I was putting my violin away.

“Um, so I’ve been thinking, you know how we pretty much hang out every day after school?” He said, not looking at me.

“Yeah, so?” I said, distracted by the stiff clasp on my case.

“Well, I was wondering, uh, would you like to be my girlfriend?” He said the last part all in a rush, and I almost didn’t understand him. He must’ve taken my hesitation as a bad sign because he started to speak again.

“Look, it was a stupid idea, just forge-” I cut him off.

“Ian, I would love to be your girlfriend! And it wasn’t a stupid idea.” He grinned at me and I smiled back. He slowly pulled me into him, making sure I was comfortable with this before he pulled me into a slow, light kiss. I kissed him back to show him he wasn’t moving too fast, and he deepened the kiss pulling me tighter against him. Someone towards the back of the room wolf-whistled, but we ignored them.