Unveiled

It had been almost 20 years, Samantha kept her secrets from the entire world and bottled it inside where she meant for it to remain for her lifetime. Night and day, she thought about those deep dark secrets that haunted her each night. Every area of her life was affected by these secrets and she was unable to perform well at high school or at anything for that matter. Samantha always assured herself and tortured herself to the point of believing that she would die at a very young age from sexual diseases; specifically aids. Furthermore, since she grew up in a Christian home, she also led herself to believe that she will never be a partaker of heaven but rather of hell because of what she was going through at the time. She hated herself for all of these years, although she was well known for her beauty and magnificent body figure. Her heart and her body were on different paths, for she smiled on the outside but inside, her heart was crushed to bits.

She had not found the courage to tell anyone out of fear of her mom and also, what others would think of her as a young teenage girl. Not even those closest to her heart, her best friend, knew about it.

Ever so often, she was forced to encounter those responsible for her secrets as a normal part of her life. She passed them on the streets, visited their homes with her mother and attended the same religious events as they would. Samantha's life was not what she had dreamed of.

Until, one day, she met her future husband, Tim. After, two years of being in an intimate relationship with Tim, she finally found the courage to unveil. One of the reasons was because she just couldn't convince herself to be faithful to anyone. After all, she didn't even take her own life seriously. Every now and then, she would go out of her relationship to her ex boyfriend or some new guy who showed her love.

Nevertheless, Tim stayed. He grew to love her so deeply that he forgave her every time and was that rock that she needed to stand and move forward. She trusted Tim with everything; every secret, and so she confided in him and began her story.

Throughout her childhood, Samantha had been sexually abused time and time again. Her mom, who was a single parent at the time with two kids, Samantha and Shem, had allowed Samantha to be repeatedly abused by older men, married, in relationships and single men. Sometimes, on a daily basis, Samantha constantly fought off grown men to prevent them from having sexual intercourse with her from the age of 12 years old. It seemed as though everytime someone new was introduced to her family, Samantha automatically became the sex prey.

One of her worst encounters was being raped and becoming inpregnanted by a family friend. He had been stalking her for a while and finally, on that dreadful day, he pranced upon innocent Samantha. He had asked her to collect something that his fiance had left upstairs of their building for Samantha. On her way up the staircase, he followed after her and attacked her from the back. He forced her down, over the bathroom sink and repeatedly raped her while sternly warning her not to scream. She cried quietly out of fear, but did as she was told. After he was finished and satisfied, he grabbed a few cleaning supplies from the bathroom. His semen was all over Samantha's legs and body. She had never felt such disgust in her entire life. He cleaned her up, took her back downstairs and gave her a glass of salted water to drink. She drank, ignorant of why she was given the glass of water. Upon finishing her drink, distressed, she turned around to leave. He called out to her and said, "If you do not have a period by the time the month ended, please do not let anyone know of it, rather, come to me as soon as you find out."

Samantha left without a response. She was confused, wounded, heartbroken and sick to her stomach. She wandered on her way home if she should even return home, for fear that her mother would know something was wrong and blame her for what happened.

The days and weeks went by quickly following. Samantha, was not the same. Her entire life was a huge mess. Finally the end of the month came. Her menstrual date came and went by just as quickly. Nothing. Samantha waited and waited, but still nothing. She had no knowledge of pregnancy or the signs. After all, she was a naive 14 year old teenager.

In no time her mom realized something was wrong. Samantha barely ate and when she did, she threw up everything. One day, her mom called out to her and gave her a small container to place her urine inside. She did and left it inside the bathroom for her mom to examine. In a few minutes, her mom came out of the bathroom enraged. She shouted at samantha to come to her, where she questioned Samantha about who she had slept with. Sadly, Samantha told her what had happened. She called and met with the family of the perpetrator and arranged some kind of deal. A few weeks later, at 2 months pregnant, Samantha was placed in the hands of an old doctor to have an abortion done. For Samantha, it was a nightmare. A never ending nightmare. One that had devastated her life, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and physically. After the abortion, Samantha's mom convinced her to live her life back in it's normal state. What she wasn't aware of was that Samantha was never the same again. Her life didn't change for a while. The abuse and attempted abuse continued, until at age 17, Samantha left her mother's abode. She kept her secrets and never told a soul.

Tim listened attentively and then tearfully, he motioned samantha to stop talking. He held her in his arms and asked her how she felt. Sadly, she was still so fearful of her mom even as a young adult, living on her own. Therefore, Tim suggested Samantha confronting her mom. She blatantly refused but soon came to accept that it was the only way to let go. In the end, after much confrontation, it all ended with a lie from her Mother's end, that at the time, she was unaware of the countless sexual abuse and rape attempts encountered by Samantha during her childhood.